Buried (2010)

Director: Rodrigo Cortés

Writer: Chris Sparling

Starring: Ryan Reynolds, José Luis García Pérez and Robert Paterson

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1462758/

 Paul Conroy (Ryan Reynolds) is an American civilian truck driver in Iraq delivering supplies. His convoy gets attacked and he wakes up in a coffin buried alive. This is the premise of the film.

 This movie was pretty amazing. I wanted to see this when it came out, but I have not been able to until now. It never came to the theater in Oklahoma. Say what you want, but I've been a fan of Ryan Reynolds a long time. In spite of Van Wilder, that boy can act. I love the whole idea of this film, the low budget and not having any locations. When I told my buddies about 'Buried', their reply was, "Oh, so it's like 'Phone Booth'". After watching it... no... it's nothing like Phone Booth. 'Buried' is much more claustrophobic and terrifying.

 This film, 90 minutes in length, never leaves this coffin. Paul is trapped with nothing but a cell phone and a lighter. Trying to contact his the U.S. Government, the company he works for, his wife. Anything to help him get out. This film starts off slow but the intensity levels rise to extremes and leave you at the edge of you're seat waiting to find out what's going to happen. This seemed real. Ryan Reynolds portrayed it how I would imagine it if I were in the box.

 The only problems I really have are these: 1. They used Ryan Reynolds. I mean, he's good. Damn good in this film, but it's still a recognizable face, which makes it a little difficult to totally lose myself in the film. 2. The rental DVD has absolutely no features whatsoever. Not even a little 5 minute featurette or a commentary track. Nothing. Pretty fucking lame.

Verdict: * * * *

- Xtoph

The Runaways (2010) Red Box Reviews

Director: Floria Sigismondi

Starring: Kristen Stewart, Dakota Fanning & Michael Shannon

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1017451/

Well, this movie is about the all girl rock group The Runaways, which spawned heavy hitters Lita Ford & Joan Jett. This is my second time to see the film. I hated it the first time, and decided to give it a second go round. It's based on the book by their former lead singer Cherie Currie. I haven't read the book, so I can't tell you if it's like that or not. I can tell you it's a complete load of crap. Boring as hell. I am a huge fan of music biopics. I'm a musician. I love the history. I love knowing about a bands formation and demise. Where they actually come from. This film seemed to be more about Joan Jett & Cherie Currie making out and doing drugs than anything else, which may be enough for some people... but it wasn't for me.

I could talk about what this film has but instead I'll tell you what it didn't have. It didn't have anything on Lita, which from my understanding she didn't like it and didn't want to be a part of the film so they pretty much wrote her out. It didn't have anything on their bassists, several which went on to do some pretty awesome things. It also didn't put any focus on the band after Cherie left, which went on for at least two more albums if memory serves me.

Bonus features weren't much either. A 15 minute making of featurette with interviews with the actors, producers and Cherie. It was cool to find out Joan Jett was pretty much there on the set with Kristen Stewart the whole time helping her along. Dakota Fanning's interviews still freak me out though... she's so fake it's ungodly. Also one commentary track with Joan Jett, Kristen Stewart & Dakota Fanning. Getting to hear Joan through the movie is the only thing that made this salvageable for me.


Verdict: * * 1/2

- Xtoph

You Don't Know Jack (2010) Red Box Review

Starring: Al Pacino, Brenda Vaccaro, John Goodman, Susan Sarandon

Director: Barry Levinson

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1132623/

Which would you choose? A quick painless death or slowly withering away on a cold hospital bed. The courts said we didn't have the right to choose. If we were allowed to die, they simply unhooked the machines and let us go. Unable to move, barely having any motor function. Lying there, slowly starving, til your body finally gives out. One man, sought to change that. This is the story. Dr. Jack Kevorkian created a "suicide assist" machine. Where the patient was able to bring about their own death. A doctor couldn't do it, that would be illegal. So he would set up the machine and let the patient do it themselves.

I remember when this was going on in the 90's. The media painted a grisly picture. "Dr. Death" they called him. Like a sadistic serial killer from a slasher flick. Arresting him whenever he tried to help out a patient. All he was doing was trying to protect our civil rights. Let us choose ourselves if we have the right to die. He never asked for any money. What doctor can say that? This film shows the side of Jack that we never got to see. The humanitarian. The sympathetic doctor who only wanted what was best for the individual. It follows the trials up until he finally got seen in the Supreme Court, no longer charged for assisting suicide, but for murder.

Beautifully shot and brilliantly directed. Al Pacino is in top form. I didn't even recognize him. He really became Kevorkian. Not your typical Friday night flick. It's heavy subject matter, but still it is something worth seeing.

Verdict: * * * *

- Xtoph

Frenemy ( 2009 ) Red Box Review

Starring:  Matthew Modine, & Callum Blue

Directed By Gregory Dark

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1053880/


     First off you the viewer must be warned:  If you happen to see this film listed on Netflix or Red Box, be cautious....  Zach Galifianakis has only a very minor role in this film, but judging from the cover, you would swear that the movie revolves around him.  Not so.  This was another case of the higher ups changing the name of the original movie title ( Little Fish, Strange Pond ) with a dumber, yet catchy name, and Putting Galifianakis's face on it to attract The Hangover crowd.  Only one problem. 
The intended crowd wouldn't have the attention span to give this movie a chance.


    
     Well enough chit chat already, here's the story in a nutshell.  Mr. Jack and Sweet Stephen cruise aimlessly through the streets of LA speculating about life, death, divine will and the force of power that predetermines their existence. Mr. Jack attempts to illustrate to his sidekick the delicate and natural forces of the universe. Sweet Stephen's superficial charm and bloodsucking lifestyle sends him and Mr. Jack on a voyage that is relentless, engaging, (sometimes) and darkly hilarious.



     Frenemy is a very slow starting, and very confusing film.  Once you figure out that Z.G. has nothing to do with the story but just a bit part, you kinda feel cheated and want to turn it off.  I watched The Mrs. drift off into sleep,  and a fellow Cinephile begin messing around with Magic cards rather than attempt to give this movie a chance.  They missed out on some really funny moments, and some violent parts, but all the while they were more engaged in what they were doing.   I will be honest, there were moments where i was bored and wanted to change the disc.


     If you're in the mood for something different go for this then. 


-Mr. What?-  ( * * )

Lost Boys: The Thirst (2010) Red Box Review

Starring: Corey Feldman, Jamison Newlander, Casey B. Dolan, Tanit Phoenix, Steven Van Niekerk.

Director: Dario Piana

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1400526/

The third installment in the series... I'll be honest, I sure wasn't expecting much. Was not too impressed with the second, so I went in with real low expectations. This has a better look and feel. Better script, better acting... and all around is just a better movie. I actually enjoyed it a lot, and lets face it, we're all fans of the Frog Brothers and want more of these movies made... no matter how bad they are.

Here's the low-down. We all know about the Frog Brothers. We open the film with the duo busting in on some political blood-suckers in the expected Frog fashion... too expected. Alan Frog (Jamison Newlander) quips, akwardly, "Holy Shit... it's the attack of Grandpa Munster". Rehashing his best line from the original Lost Boys film. Now, if you've seen the sequel(2008's "Lost Boys" The Tribe"), you know Alan is already a vamp. Turns out the opening is a dream sequence of Edgar Frog (Corey Feldman). We pick up with him getting evicted from his trailer and trying to scrounge up some dough to survive. He meets up with Gwen Lieber (Tanit Phoenix) who tells him up glow-stick waving Raver Vamps passing around a new drug called "The Thirst" at all the parties. Turns out the drug is vamp blood being used to build up an undead army. Edgar accepts the challenge and is partnered with a reality show reject (Steven Van Niekerk) and has to deal with a cameraman tag-a-long.

Best One-Liner: "Vinyl... still shreds!" - Edgar Frog

Verdict: * * * *

- Xtoph

The Disappearance Of Alice Creed ( 2009 ) Red Box Rental

Starring:  Martin Compston, Eddie Marsan, Gemma Arterton

Directed By J Blakeson

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1379177/


      Awesome movie, but be warned......  There is a A LOT of comparison between this movie and Hard Candy.  Small cast kept together, and most of the movie filmed on one or maybe two sets.  Very minimal, but very intense.  TDOAC is yet another staple in the British film section that will go down as a sleeper success.  Funny how the Brits are still more edgy than us at movies sometimes.

     The story was simple, but half way through started getting twisted and interesting at the same time.  A feat which is sometimes unachievable with movies like this.  Two men fortify a nondescript British apartment so it can serve as a prison, and then kidnap a woman and tie her to a bed. Before there's even time to react, we're plunged into a very nasty situation, but not a simple one.

     Like I said before, it's minimal, but dammit if I couldn't turn away for a second or I might run the risk of missing something.  That is what I liked most about the movie.  You had to pay attention to it or you're gonna miss something.  Unlike Iron Man 2 or garbage lie that, TDOAC had that Indie feel, and was an intense film to watch from beginning to end.  By intense I don't mean Saw, or Hostel.  Just imagine being tied to a bed and have to pee in a bottle intense, while your assailants are wearing ski masks and making threats.

     Trust me, if you like films of this nature you will not be disappointed.

-Mr. What?-  ( * * * )

Chloe ( 2009 ) Red Box Review

Starring: Julianne Moore, Liam Neeson, & Amanda Seyfried,

Directed By Atom Egoyan

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1352824/


     Not bad.  For a Red Box rental I was a bit surprised.  I half expected this to be a slow movie with absolutely no feeling or emotion, and a semi hot scene to tie everything together.  Nope.  Chloe was actually a very well done piece of work that should get more credit than it has gotten, and should've had a bigger distribution. 

     I was actually very surprised with Amanda Seyfried.   In between the movies Jennifer's Body and Dear John Ms Seyfried did this little indie flick that should've been pushed more for a bigger distribution.  Her acting next to Julianne Moore was outstanding and very noteworthy.  I can only hope that she lights up the screen with the upcoming release of Red Riding Hood.

     The story was fairly simple..Catherine and David, she a doctor, he a professor, are at first glance the perfect couple. Happily married with a talented teenage son, they appear to have an idyllic life. But when David misses a flight and his surprise birthday party, Catherine's long simmering suspicions rise to the surface. Suspecting infidelity, she decides to hire an escort to seduce her husband and test his loyalty. Catherine finds herself 'directing' Chloe's encounters with David, and Chloe's end of the bargain is to report back, the descriptions becoming increasingly graphic as the meetings multiply.

     I was most surprised at the love scene between Seyfried and Moore.  If you happen to like cougar lesbian Masterbation scenes, then you must rent this movie.  At times the film kinda dragged on, but for every time this happened, better stuff awaited the unsuspecting viewer.

Great movie for a stay home date night.

-Mr. What?- ( * * * )

The Lost Tribe ( 2009 ) Red Box Review

Starring:  Emily Foxler, Nick Mennell, Marc Bacher, Brianna Brown, Hadley Fraser, Maxine Bahns, Ryan Alosio, & Lance Henriksen

Directed By Roel Reiné


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0811124/



      Without a doubt, this is the worst movie I have ever seen.  I understand that making a horrible straight to DVD ripoff is common, but one of this magnitude should have never been green lighted.  Absolutely nothing about this load of shit is worth your money or time.  Take a pick, everything is bad.  Acting, cast, monster, story, and the list goes on.  Maybe somebody tried to make The Lost Tribe watchable, or had good intentions to, but failed with great success.

     For starters lets start with the story.  Without going on and on, here's the skinny......  After a devastating boat crash, a group of friends are stranded on an uncharted island where they encounter an ancient tribe of humanoid creatures.  Yep.  Take the shows Lost, Gillgan's Island, and cross them with a creature that looks a very bad hybrid of The Predator, and the white apes from the movie Congo.  And that people, is exactly what The Lost Tribe was.

     I would go so far as to say that this bomb would get the nasty title of "Sci Fi movie Original", and totally live up to the horrible title.  Yeah man, anytime you hear those words in a sentence, you know that it's going to suck.  In all fairness though, what would you expect from a movie that uses an Image of a Predator looking creature on the cover, but gives us something completely different?  Or better yet, shamelessly rip off TV shows, and other movies trying to create something "original" for a unsuspecting viewing audience?

     The Lost Tribe is an awful movie, and you would be better of saving your money for something else.

-Mr. What?- ( no stars )

Cornered! ( 2009 ) Red Box Review

Starring: Steve Guttenberg, James Duval, Peter Story, Elizabeth Nicole, Eduardo Antonio Garcia, Ellia English, David Basila, & David Jean Thomas

Directed By Daniel Maze

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1151911/


     Daniel Maze, you should be complemented.  You have given us B Movie Beasts' something to buy, and put into our collection.  Never mind that Mahoney from Police Academy is your biggest name billed, or the fact that this movie was never given a chance be seen with a decent distribution ( other than straight to DVD) You sir, have impressed me and several others, and for that I say Thank-fucking-god.  Cornered! was a trip back to VHS Friday Night Horror Fest.

     As you can obviously tell, I fucking loved this movie.  It's not the best and certainly not the worst, but it has that solid feel that at least somebody tried.  Unlike other so called horror movies, this one had all the right mix of tempo and delivery.  It took a bit for us to really see anything violent, but it the story built up the tension and never backed off.  I guess this is why I find movies like this one so entertaining.

     The story was really simple and didn't focus on too much on just one character, it focused on everybody involved, and how their own fucked up life couldn't matter more than a guy with Bondage mask killing the dick out of everybody.  that alone, besides the choice of mask ( genius ) made for a good believable villain.  Here's the 4-0......

     Somebody is killing convenience store customers and owners inside of the stores.  We happen upon a ratty, trashy store in SO CAL that would rival any ghetto store.  Junkies, phone sex operators, hookers, and a fat ass doughnut eating wimp run the place ( or better yet live there ), while their scumbag boss watches their every movement, records it, and hides the tapes.  One night during their weekly poker match they get locked in the store with a gimp maked killer picks them off one by one.

     Look, this isn't that goddamn unoriginal blue ape movie called Avatar, it's a good rental for a buck, and is EXACTLY the type of movie I could fuck somebody after, or during and not feel like Al Franken.  if you're going to take a chane on a movie. i would highly recommend this one. 

Mr. What ( * * * )

Afterlife ( 2009 ) Red Box Review

Starring:  Christina Ricci, Liam Neeson, Justin Long, &
 Chandler Canterbury

Directed by Agnieszka Wojtowicz-Vosloo


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0838247/


     The Mrs. and I were picking some movies for me  to review, and she came across this.  Actually, she saw Justin Long's name and had to rent it.  I laughed, and read the story line.  Seemed interesting and somewhat original, so what the fuck, I gave it a shot.  I was surprised.  A good cast, original story, and decent pace made for a great viewing.  I'm actually peeved that this didn't get a better push for a major release. 

     I was sucked in by the story, and later by the twists and turns.  The story you ask?  seemingly simple but a little complex at times.  After a horrific car accident, Anna (Ricci) wakes up to find the local funeral director Eliot Deacon (Neeson) preparing her body for her funeral. Confused, terrified and feeling still very much alive, Anna doesn't believe she's dead, despite the funeral director's reassurances that she is merely in transition to the afterlife. Eliot convinces her he has the ability to communicate with the dead and is the only one who can help her. Trapped inside the funeral home, with nobody to turn to except Eliot, Anna is forced to face her deepest fears and accept her own death. But Anna's grief-stricken boyfriend Paul (Long) still can't shake the nagging suspicion that Eliot isn't what he appears to be. As the funeral nears, Paul gets closer to unlocking the disturbing truth, but it could be too late; Anna may have already begun to cross over the other side.

     Truthfully, if you're going to spend 1.00 on a non Hollywood pushed movie, then do so with Afterlife.  At times the pace may seem a bit slow, but be patient, the end is worth the wait alone.  Everybody listed above for the cast was on point, and had their roles locked on their character.  I was the most surprised with Justin Long.  At no point did he seem like he was phoning the performance.  Honestly, if you want something more than the usual cheap movies, then check this one out.

( * * * )

-Mr. What?-

Night of the Demons (2009) Red Box Review

Starring: Shannon Elizabeth, Diora Baird, Edward Furlong, Monica Keena, John F. Beach, & Bobbi Sue Luther

Directed by Adam Gierasch


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1268809/


     For as much as it wants to be, Night Of The Demons is nothing more than a waste of money.  There is nothing worth comparing to the Original 1988 movie.  NOTD felt like it was a half ass attempt at doing a decent remake, but fell terribly short, panicked, and sent this garbage straight to DVD.  In hindsight i wish it was never released.

     The story was simple enough to play with.  A group of kids go to a Halloween party, only to have to face down a group of demons.  simple stuff right?  The original movie was, at best, a decent B horror movie with the right mix of comedy and horror.  The remake was an epic fail.  The list of reasons why it was awful is plenty, but I'll try to condense it.

     For starters, getting Shannon Elizabeth to play the role of Angela was a bad mistake.  Hello?  she was the wrong person to cast for this movie, and her attempt at acting more than proves it.  The music soundtrack was another horrible misfire.  Almost every song played throughout the movie felt misplaced and unfitting.  Yeah, Type O Negative is cool, but hearing Black No. 1 during the part it was chosen for felt off, and was kinda cheesy.

     With all of the bad timing, laughable story, and even worse casting, there were some funny parts.  I laughed the hardest at the terrified party goer who asked the best question heard in a bad horror movie recently.  "How do you know that Pantry isn't french for fucking death trap?!?!"
With that scene and a few others it made me not so pissed that I wasted a 1.00 on the rental, but didn't take away the let down of seeing one of Fav. B movies being desecrated by the foreign chick from American Pie with the shaved pussy.

     If you want to see a Demon have forced anal sex with a chick and turn her into a demon, then rent this flick.

-Mr What?- ( * * )