Director: Catherine Hardwicke
Writer: David Johnson
Starring: Amanda Seyfried, Lukas Haas, Gary Oldman
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1486185/
The only reason I watched this was because it was the only movie starting at the time I was chillin' at the theater looking for something to do. I wasn't looking forward to anything touted as being made by the same people that made 'Twilight'.
This is supposed to be the "real" story of where the fable of Red Riding Hood came from... not likely. A werewolf tale for the teeny-bopper set. The only real thing this has going for it is Gary Oldman and Virginia Madsen. Hokey story and CGI werewolf. It was hard to be impressed...
Now, it wasn't all bad... I mean... if you compare it to Twilight it's definitely a superior film. ha ha ha. Fuck it.
Verdict: * *
- Xtoph
Showing posts with label Werewolves. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Werewolves. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Friday, February 12, 2010
The Wolfman ( 2010 )
Starring: Benicio Del Toro, Anthony Hopkins, Emily Blunt, & David Stern
Directed By Joe Johnston
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0780653/
There ought to be mystery, heat, torment, doom, longing, rue, and, yes, blood in a film about a werewolf, but “The Wolfman” has almost none of these -- or at least not enough of any of them to impart them to an audience.
Deeply phony, strangely static, disengaged, flaccid and, quite often, silly, it’s a film that tries to bully you into emotions with flourishes of music, contorted camera angles, screams of special effects, smears of gore, and earnest close-ups of its woefully miscast star. But very little of it compels, frightens, absorbs or convinces. Werewolves have perennially taken something of a back seat to vampires, ghosts, aliens, and, recently, zombies in the imaginations of horror filmmakers and fans, and this dreary effort will do nothing to change that.
Benicio Del Toro, so wrong for the material that he seems almost desperate to express his discomfort with his body and eyes, plays Lawrence Talbot, an English stage actor raised in America and returned to his ancestral mansion to help find his brother, who has gone missing. Upon arrival, he learns from his estranged father (Anthony Hopkins) that his poor bro is dead, apparently at the claws of something very savage.
Lawrence determines to find out what happened, as does his brother’s grieving fiancé (Emily Blunt). He encounters gypsies, gets chewed on by a wild beast, and is presently assumed by one and sundry to be cursed as a werewolf himself -- an assumption which proves true on the next full moon. Enter Scotland Yard in the presence of a sarcastic inspector (Hugo Weaving) and everyone makes off to London and a series of increasingly implausible action sequences and plot turns.
Hopkins and Weaving seem to be fully aware that they’re involved in hokum, and they milk several key moments each with agreeable impunity. Blunt, though, could be almost anyone, truly -- which says less about what she does with her role than about how paltry a part it is. And Del Toro can only make his character come alive by revealing the depths of his eyes; the regret you feel him express when he does so surely has as much to do with his thoughts about making the film as with his character’s plight.
Obviously director Joe Johnston (“The Rocketeer,” “Honey, I Shrunk the Kids,” “Jumanji”) is responsible for a lot of what’s wrong. Time and again his efforts to invigorate the material or probe into it are vulgar, lifeless, trite, and, especially when computer-generated, laughably fraudulent.
But, then, screenwriters David Self and Andrew Kevin Walker managed to improve not one whit on Curt Siodmak’s 1941 original script, not to mention those of such films as “The Company of Wolves,” “Wolfen,” “An American Werewolf in London,” “Wolf,” and “Brotherhood of the Wolf” all of which found sparks of energy and interest in lycanthropy.
Still, while Johnston may not be guilty of ruining a gem, he does nothing to polish the materials he’s been given, either. Like Del Toro -- and, too, like viewers of this mishmash -- he’s likely doomed to feel a shudder whenever he spies a full moon in the sky from now on.
Overall Rating ( * * )
Mr. What?
Directed By Joe Johnston
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0780653/
There ought to be mystery, heat, torment, doom, longing, rue, and, yes, blood in a film about a werewolf, but “The Wolfman” has almost none of these -- or at least not enough of any of them to impart them to an audience.
Deeply phony, strangely static, disengaged, flaccid and, quite often, silly, it’s a film that tries to bully you into emotions with flourishes of music, contorted camera angles, screams of special effects, smears of gore, and earnest close-ups of its woefully miscast star. But very little of it compels, frightens, absorbs or convinces. Werewolves have perennially taken something of a back seat to vampires, ghosts, aliens, and, recently, zombies in the imaginations of horror filmmakers and fans, and this dreary effort will do nothing to change that.
Benicio Del Toro, so wrong for the material that he seems almost desperate to express his discomfort with his body and eyes, plays Lawrence Talbot, an English stage actor raised in America and returned to his ancestral mansion to help find his brother, who has gone missing. Upon arrival, he learns from his estranged father (Anthony Hopkins) that his poor bro is dead, apparently at the claws of something very savage.
Lawrence determines to find out what happened, as does his brother’s grieving fiancé (Emily Blunt). He encounters gypsies, gets chewed on by a wild beast, and is presently assumed by one and sundry to be cursed as a werewolf himself -- an assumption which proves true on the next full moon. Enter Scotland Yard in the presence of a sarcastic inspector (Hugo Weaving) and everyone makes off to London and a series of increasingly implausible action sequences and plot turns.
Hopkins and Weaving seem to be fully aware that they’re involved in hokum, and they milk several key moments each with agreeable impunity. Blunt, though, could be almost anyone, truly -- which says less about what she does with her role than about how paltry a part it is. And Del Toro can only make his character come alive by revealing the depths of his eyes; the regret you feel him express when he does so surely has as much to do with his thoughts about making the film as with his character’s plight.
Obviously director Joe Johnston (“The Rocketeer,” “Honey, I Shrunk the Kids,” “Jumanji”) is responsible for a lot of what’s wrong. Time and again his efforts to invigorate the material or probe into it are vulgar, lifeless, trite, and, especially when computer-generated, laughably fraudulent.
But, then, screenwriters David Self and Andrew Kevin Walker managed to improve not one whit on Curt Siodmak’s 1941 original script, not to mention those of such films as “The Company of Wolves,” “Wolfen,” “An American Werewolf in London,” “Wolf,” and “Brotherhood of the Wolf” all of which found sparks of energy and interest in lycanthropy.
Still, while Johnston may not be guilty of ruining a gem, he does nothing to polish the materials he’s been given, either. Like Del Toro -- and, too, like viewers of this mishmash -- he’s likely doomed to feel a shudder whenever he spies a full moon in the sky from now on.
Overall Rating ( * * )
Mr. What?
Thursday, November 19, 2009
The Twilight Saga: New Moon ( 2009 )
Starring: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Billy Burke, Anna Kendrick, & Tayor Lautner
Directed By Chris Weitz
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1259571/
First off Let me say that this movie was Horrible. I felt like chopping my dick off, and throwing it into the river after viewing this film. I painfully watched Twilight and couldn't stop rolling my eyes. Vampires who walk amongst the midst & Sparkled, no blood or gore, and massive undead virginity issues made for a solid laugh. That is, until the rest of the nation fell under the Twilight spell.
Everywhere you looked Twilight was there. Grocery Stores, Malls, Clothing Stores, ETC, ETC. At first I just ignored it, but after having 3-4 tweens get into my face about my views I decided to fight back with Harsher words and Semi-Violence. Team Cullen gear was everywhere and being shoved onto the word despite the Massive Outrage from the Horror Movie Community.
Alot of Movies had a newish spin on Vampires, but nothing as lame as Twilight. Maybe it was because of the authors Religious beliefs ( Mormon ), or The fact that Hollywood needed something to fill the void of The Harry Potter Series, I don't know for sure. What I do know is that Twilight was, and still is Hated and Loved World wide.
As I geared up for the review, I knew that I had to be open minded and non-biased against this movie as I am with every movie I review. As far as the story goes for New Moon.......Bella and Edward are "in love" and happy. Alice ( edwards sister ) throws Bella a party for her 18th birthday. All is fine until Bella cuts her finger while trying to cut some cake and sends a Cullen family member into a blood lust and attacks Bella. Fearing the the Worst Edward packs up the clan and moves out of Forks Washington for Bella's safety....
Here is where the movie tanked. Bella spends too much time being EMO and hating life. It felt like watching a love story on morphine. The lighting, acting, and sets took on this cheesy wannabe dark tone, and left the viewer longing for a fight, or some hate sex. Then along comes Jacob. Dark and full of mystery, Bella begins a friendship with him and his secret as a.....you guessed it...a werewolf. Jacob was another letdown. Maybe it's me, but seeing Sharkboy try to be seductive was anything but hot. I did see a gay couple cuddle during Jacobs scenes, and made me think.......Could this guy ever star in a Gay Porn?
The rest of the movie is....well, really bad. If you read the books and hated Twilight the movie, then this will be the same amount of Bullshit. Alot was left out for the movie adaptation. I often found myself asking "is this based off of New Moon the book, or some lose version made into a crappy movie for tweens?" Nothing about this movie was made for anybody over the age of 12. Yes, there is some decent fighting, but too much of the movie is spent with Bella acting bummed out and dreary.
All in All this was a total waste of money and time. If you must witness this film in theaters the please be warned: This movie is slow and boring.
Overall Rating ( * )
Mr. What?
Directed By Chris Weitz
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1259571/
First off Let me say that this movie was Horrible. I felt like chopping my dick off, and throwing it into the river after viewing this film. I painfully watched Twilight and couldn't stop rolling my eyes. Vampires who walk amongst the midst & Sparkled, no blood or gore, and massive undead virginity issues made for a solid laugh. That is, until the rest of the nation fell under the Twilight spell.
Everywhere you looked Twilight was there. Grocery Stores, Malls, Clothing Stores, ETC, ETC. At first I just ignored it, but after having 3-4 tweens get into my face about my views I decided to fight back with Harsher words and Semi-Violence. Team Cullen gear was everywhere and being shoved onto the word despite the Massive Outrage from the Horror Movie Community.
Alot of Movies had a newish spin on Vampires, but nothing as lame as Twilight. Maybe it was because of the authors Religious beliefs ( Mormon ), or The fact that Hollywood needed something to fill the void of The Harry Potter Series, I don't know for sure. What I do know is that Twilight was, and still is Hated and Loved World wide.
As I geared up for the review, I knew that I had to be open minded and non-biased against this movie as I am with every movie I review. As far as the story goes for New Moon.......Bella and Edward are "in love" and happy. Alice ( edwards sister ) throws Bella a party for her 18th birthday. All is fine until Bella cuts her finger while trying to cut some cake and sends a Cullen family member into a blood lust and attacks Bella. Fearing the the Worst Edward packs up the clan and moves out of Forks Washington for Bella's safety....
Here is where the movie tanked. Bella spends too much time being EMO and hating life. It felt like watching a love story on morphine. The lighting, acting, and sets took on this cheesy wannabe dark tone, and left the viewer longing for a fight, or some hate sex. Then along comes Jacob. Dark and full of mystery, Bella begins a friendship with him and his secret as a.....you guessed it...a werewolf. Jacob was another letdown. Maybe it's me, but seeing Sharkboy try to be seductive was anything but hot. I did see a gay couple cuddle during Jacobs scenes, and made me think.......Could this guy ever star in a Gay Porn?
The rest of the movie is....well, really bad. If you read the books and hated Twilight the movie, then this will be the same amount of Bullshit. Alot was left out for the movie adaptation. I often found myself asking "is this based off of New Moon the book, or some lose version made into a crappy movie for tweens?" Nothing about this movie was made for anybody over the age of 12. Yes, there is some decent fighting, but too much of the movie is spent with Bella acting bummed out and dreary.
All in All this was a total waste of money and time. If you must witness this film in theaters the please be warned: This movie is slow and boring.
Overall Rating ( * )
Mr. What?
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