Showing posts with label Vampires. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Vampires. Show all posts

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Plastic Man: Rubber Bandits Vol. 2 - TPB - Angled Doors Review

 Kyle Baker brings us this series of crazy antics that would only come from Plastic Man. Dude is wacked. Basically, The Time Trapper is messing around with time and some lady busts in on Plas' and his girlfriend claiming to be his wife and has a shapeshifting kid. The DC continuity is getting all messed up and some how President Lincoln ends up in the picture. He ends up being Booth disguised as Lincoln. They take Booth back in time to kill Lincoln to save the future that hasn't happened. Booth dies. Plas' and Woozy decide they have to kill Lincoln themselves. More craziness. It's just non-stop. Later on, a vampire story. This book is out there, but a lot of fun.

- Xtoph

Lost Boys 2: The Tribe - DVD - Angled Doors Review

 If your looking for a direct sequel to the original Lost Boys, this isn't it. It picks up many years later in a new town with some annoying surfer vamps. Cool cameo in the beginning with Tom Savini though. About half an hour into the movie we finally get introduced to Edgar Frog (Corey Feldman) , the only returning character. What happened to his brother? It only hints at first. (In the bonus features we find out he's a vamp) It's basically the same old story. Kids move to new town, hang out with vamps and get turned. Try to fight it and kill the head vampire so they can be normal again. Edgar comes in shows them some comics and saves the day. The real story that we wanted to see starts at the end. Sam (Corey Haim) returns and he's a vamp. Him and Edgar battle it out... but we only get to see the very beginning of the fight, then it's more credits. Can't wait for part three!

- Xtoph

Friday, December 31, 2010

Suck ( 2009 ) Netflix Review

Starring:  Rob Stefaniuk, Jessica Paré, Paul Anthony, Mike Lobel, Chris Ratz, Alice Cooper, Moby, Henry Rollins, Iggy Pop & Malcolm McDowell

Directed By Rob Stefaniuk

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1323605/


     Indifference can be a total bitch.  I've often said this about a lot of things, but none more than movies.  I really hate getting pumped up over a preview, and then feel so so about the actual movie once i saw it.  Suck is a perfect example of that.  I really thought this movie would have more balls to it considering the cast, but not so.  Maybe if there were a second chance at this, or maybe a re-imagining in say, 3 years, then it would be worth owning.

     Not to say that Suck wasn't funny ( which it was in spots ) or that the makeup was decent ( which it was ) or hell, even the fact that some of the influential heads of Rock/Punk made decent appearances, it was just the story that kind of left me flat. We've seen this format with Queen Of The Damned and Jennifer's Body, and by no means is Suck anything to put in a top 10 list, but at least it tried to be different in a familiar setting.

     The story is pretty simple.  A band at the end of their rope is willing to do anything to be famous, even if it means becoming Vampires.  That's where the Jennifer's Body Reff. comes in a bit.  Though, in JB the band sacrificed Jennifer in attempt to be famous.  It also didn't help that central protagonist of Suck was named Jennifer either.  But I will give this Jennifer ( Jessica Paré ) the nod to better acting and selling the woes of being a Vampire in Goth band, better than Megan Fox did with Her possessed Jennifer.

     I will say that the Cameos made this movie a little more watchable.  Moby as a rock frontman named Beef was funny in itself considering how Moby is.  The rest of the cast wasn't bad either, but at times this movie just lost steam and failed to deliver a better product.  Oh well, at least it's a vampire film without anybody sparkling around a Forrest.

-Mr. What?-

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Lost Boys: The Thirst (2010) Red Box Review

Starring: Corey Feldman, Jamison Newlander, Casey B. Dolan, Tanit Phoenix, Steven Van Niekerk.

Director: Dario Piana

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1400526/

The third installment in the series... I'll be honest, I sure wasn't expecting much. Was not too impressed with the second, so I went in with real low expectations. This has a better look and feel. Better script, better acting... and all around is just a better movie. I actually enjoyed it a lot, and lets face it, we're all fans of the Frog Brothers and want more of these movies made... no matter how bad they are.

Here's the low-down. We all know about the Frog Brothers. We open the film with the duo busting in on some political blood-suckers in the expected Frog fashion... too expected. Alan Frog (Jamison Newlander) quips, akwardly, "Holy Shit... it's the attack of Grandpa Munster". Rehashing his best line from the original Lost Boys film. Now, if you've seen the sequel(2008's "Lost Boys" The Tribe"), you know Alan is already a vamp. Turns out the opening is a dream sequence of Edgar Frog (Corey Feldman). We pick up with him getting evicted from his trailer and trying to scrounge up some dough to survive. He meets up with Gwen Lieber (Tanit Phoenix) who tells him up glow-stick waving Raver Vamps passing around a new drug called "The Thirst" at all the parties. Turns out the drug is vamp blood being used to build up an undead army. Edgar accepts the challenge and is partnered with a reality show reject (Steven Van Niekerk) and has to deal with a cameraman tag-a-long.

Best One-Liner: "Vinyl... still shreds!" - Edgar Frog

Verdict: * * * *

- Xtoph

Friday, October 1, 2010

Let Me In ( 2010 )

Starring: Kodi Smit-McPhee, Chloe Moretz, Richard Jenkins, Cara Buono, Elias Koteas, & Sasha Barrese.

Directed By Matt Reeves

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1228987/


Among American versions of recent foreign movies, arguably none has faced the same chariness and doubt that awaits "Let Me In," a remake of 2008 "Let the Right One In.” 

A moody, black-humored variant on "E. T.," Tomas Alfredson's Swedish original focuses on a lonely, bullied boy whose life is changed by a new kid in his apartment complex -- a girl who goes shoeless in the snow, solves Rubik's cubes in moments, scurries up buildings and trees, and, oh yeah, drinks blood to live.  The film moves with strange, creepy energy and is populated by characters who delicately walk a line between charm and grotesquerie.  It’s a treat.

And hey, whattaya know:  "Let Me In" manages to capture much of the essence of the original -- so much, in fact, that it feels a mite redundant even as it bears its lineage with honor.  Director Matt Reeves ("Cloverfield") has pared some elements from the original, but he moves his film with a similar confidence, poise, sad beauty and droll wit.  And while he has added a splash of conventional horror, "Let Me In" is as compelling (if, inevitably, not as fresh) as its source, and, like Reeves' "Cloverfield," injects new life to an often-tired genre.

Kodi Smit-McPhee ("The Road") stars as mopey child-of-divorce Owen, Chloe Moretz ("Kick-Ass") gives another preternaturally grown-up performance as Abby, his bloodsucking crush, and such stalwarts as Richard Jenkins and Elias Koteas offer moments of substance.  Reeves, though, is the standout, marshalling the look and flow of the film as surely as he does the performances.  He has taken someone else's work and so infused it with apt and knowing choices that if feels as if it began with him personally -- a heck of a thing to achieve with such a potentially dubious project.

Mr. What? ( * * * )

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010)

Starring Milla Jovovich, Ali Larter, Wentworth Miller, Boris Kodjoe, Kim Coates, Shawn Roberts, & Spencer Locke

Directed by Paul W. S. Anderson


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1220634/


    
     This movie was terrible.  Why bother anymore?  The last Resident Evil was such a slap in the face of gamers it should have been burned.  Now, years later some idiot thought it would be cute to revamp the dead horse, but this time in 3D.  Everything about RE4 was wrong.  the acting was a joke, the story was a complete rip off of Escape from NY, and having not one man in on the good action was not only very sexist, but beyond cheesy.


     What i hated about RE4 most was the inconsistencies and blatant rip off of other movies.  Case In Point #1:  Early on in the film Alice loses her powers and thanks Wesker ( a terrible Shawn Roberts looking like a white morpheus ) for turning her human again, only to crash the aircraft into the side of a mountain, and walk away unhurt.  I call bullshit on that.  Case In Point #2:  After ripping off Escape from New York and the Matrix, we the viewers are treated to Alice loading a pair of shotguns with quarters.  Next we see alice with the shotguns on her back running through a zombie gauntlet and then pull the shotguns and fire them without a single quarter falling out of the barrel while she pulled them.  Bullshit again.

     I won't even comment on the acting.  OK I will, but only to point out how terrible it was.......

Alice:  Totally Pathetic attempt at any sort of action hero.

Claire:  Yeah who was the idiot who gave Ali Larter this role?!?!  Hey Ali, note to self: Stop trying to pass as any sort of actor/actress cause that boat left looooong ago

Chris:  Channing Tatum called and wants his look and style back.

Shawn Roberts: Nice touch on ripping of the Matrix and making Morpheus white.

     It also must be said that the production sets looked like they were bought wholesale at the "Look Futuristic" store, because everything about them was a total visual abortion.  Oh, and did i mention how much the Matrix was ripped off?  Every damn thing that the matrix did in 3 movies, this piece of shit tried to do in one.  Oh I am so sorry.  My friend pointed out that they also ripped of blade 2.  See?  Even a guy not in this f'd up industry can see garbage when he see's it.

     The zombies were almost not in the movie.  It took almost an hour  from the first on screen zombie attack to the next.  Even then the zombies were tiresome and totally contrived.  I felt it looked like somebody fudged on the budget and decided to make all of the dead people look the same.  I mean, isn't this the balls of the franchise?  zombies?  So why take the only remaining good thing about this muck, and not hype that up?

     Last thing I'm gonna say is even the decent 3D couldn't save this film.  I really liked the 3D, but kept getting distracted by the stop and start motion rip off ala matrix.  Do yourself a favor, ignore this movie.

Mr. what? (no stars)

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Daybreakers ( 2010 )

Starring: Ethan Hawke, Willem Dafoe, Sam Neil, & Mungo McKay

Directed by The Spierig Brothers

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0433362/


     The Wife said it best.  "The movie was original and kept me interested."  I would also like to point out that there were almost NO TEENAGERS in the movie either.  I'm just as tired as everybody else with Tween Movies, and was totally excited to see a "Real" vampire movie again.


     It seems that in the last 3 years Vamp flicks have become something of a Joke.  Either it's too mushy and EMO, or the gore hounds scream like Banshee's for more blood.  30 days of night was an excellent movie that gave everybody something and didn't let up on the gore.


     The same can be said about Daybreakers.  Just about everything in this movie was solid.  Some are calling it Ethan Hawke's return, and others are calling it a solid original vampire story.  I feel the same way....  Sort of.

      Daybreakers is a great film.  I did like alot of the content, but at the same time feel like its a waiting game until somebody compares it to something else.  Maybe there is some other Vampire film out there similar to Daybreakers, but I cannot find one.

     so enough with the babble....

     2009 brings us a massive vampire plague.  Over the next 10 years the human race is almost extinct.  Nearly everybody is a vampire now and the shortage of blood is causing the world to freak out.  Time after time the Vamps try to find a blood substitute  but have violent results.

     Head Corporate Scum bag Charles Bromley (Neil ) plays off the crisis as nothing more than a bump in the road, but behind closed doors he is noticing his stock of Human Blood dwindling fast..

      With the extinction of Vampires possible, and some very nasty side effects from the blood substitutes, Bromley turns to the top Hemotologist around Dr. Edward Dalton.
Dalton ( Hawke ) is a Vampire trying to stay Human Blood free and find a solution to the blood shortage. 

     Dalton tries in Vain to find any solution possible.  Nothing seems to work.  After a car accident Dalton discovers human beings and decides to shelter them from the Vampires.

     This is where the story gets interesting.  Tons of twists and turns, and gallons of blood later we have a great movie.  Dalton go's on the run with Bromley puts Dalton on the Hit list and it's all downhill from there.

    I really like the futuristic look of the movie.  It's not cheesy and Sci Fi Channel'ish.  Everything is darker but with some color like the Vampire Toothpaste...Classic.
Also it was awesome to see decent special FX without counting on Digital Blood.

     Overall Daybreakers is a great film and was released at the right time.  From Sherlock Holmes to Avatar, the last month in movies seemed really slow and meant for Teens.  Good thing somebody broke up the Dull Family fest and broke out something for the latenight crowd.

Overall Review ( * * * * )

Mr. What?

Thursday, November 19, 2009

The Twilight Saga: New Moon ( 2009 )

Starring: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Billy Burke, Anna Kendrick, & Tayor Lautner

Directed By Chris Weitz

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1259571/


     First off Let me say that this movie was Horrible.  I felt like chopping my dick off, and throwing it into the river after viewing this film.  I painfully watched Twilight and couldn't stop rolling my eyes.  Vampires who walk amongst the midst & Sparkled, no blood or gore, and massive undead virginity issues made for a solid laugh.  That is, until the rest of the nation fell under the Twilight spell. 

     Everywhere you looked Twilight was there.  Grocery Stores, Malls, Clothing Stores, ETC, ETC.  At first I just ignored it, but after having 3-4 tweens get into my face about my views I decided to fight back with Harsher words and Semi-Violence.  Team Cullen gear was everywhere and being shoved onto the word despite the Massive Outrage from the Horror Movie Community.

     Alot of Movies had a newish spin on Vampires, but nothing as lame as Twilight.  Maybe it was because of the authors Religious beliefs ( Mormon ), or The fact that Hollywood needed something to fill the void of The Harry Potter Series, I don't know for sure.  What I do know is that Twilight was, and still is Hated and Loved World wide.

     As I geared up for the review, I knew that I had to be open minded and non-biased against this movie as I am with every movie I review.  As far as the story goes for New Moon.......Bella and Edward are "in love" and happy.  Alice ( edwards sister ) throws Bella a party for her 18th birthday.  All is fine until Bella cuts her finger while trying to cut some cake and sends a Cullen family member into a blood lust and attacks Bella.  Fearing the the Worst Edward packs up the clan and moves out of Forks Washington for Bella's safety....

     Here is where the movie tanked.  Bella spends too much time being EMO and hating life.  It felt like watching a love story on morphine. The lighting, acting, and sets took on this cheesy wannabe dark tone, and left the viewer longing for a fight, or some hate sex. Then along comes Jacob.  Dark and full of mystery, Bella begins a friendship with him and his secret as a.....you guessed it...a werewolf. Jacob was another letdown.  Maybe it's me, but seeing Sharkboy try to be seductive was anything but hot.  I did see a gay couple cuddle during Jacobs scenes, and made me think.......Could this guy ever star in a Gay Porn?

     The rest of the movie is....well, really bad.  If you read the books and hated Twilight the movie, then this will be the same amount of Bullshit.  Alot was left out for the movie adaptation.  I often found myself asking "is this based off of New Moon the book, or some lose version made into a crappy movie for tweens?"  Nothing about this movie was made for anybody over the age of 12.  Yes, there is some decent fighting, but too much of the movie is spent with Bella acting bummed out and dreary.

     All in All this was a total waste of money and time.  If you must witness this film in theaters the please be warned:  This movie is slow and boring.

Overall Rating ( * )

Mr. What?

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Let The Right One In (2008) DVD



Director: Tomas Alfredson
Starring: Kare Hedebrant & Lina Leandersson
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1139797/

This is the story of a young bullied boy and his relationship with a little vampire girl. One of the few vampire flicks of late that takes you down a road worth traveling. Although this is a form of a "love story" in here, it's not some craptastic romance ride like Twilight. Oh... and there is blood.

Originally in Swedish, don't make the mistake of putting this on without doing the set-up first. It played it with lame English over-dubs. It was awful. Watch it in it's original language with sub-titles. The over-all effect is much more satisfying.

Also includes some deleted scenes, a "making of" and trailer. Look out for the U.S. re-make in 2010.

Verdict ( * * * * )

- Al B. Damned

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Brotherhood Of Blood (2007)



Director: Michael Roesch & Peter Scheerer
Starring: Sid Haig & Ken Foree
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0493404/

 I've grown so tired of the vampire genre in general. For every hundred flicks it seems like there is only one diamond in the rough. This is what I was hoping for when it sported Sid Haig and Ken Foree on the cover in fangs. It got my blood pumping. I couldn't wait to get this home and check it out. Four viewings later and I still don't know how it ends. I've fallen asleep every time. I felt like I was watching one of those awful sci-fi channel originals. Total dissapointment considering this comes from Sam Raimi's new company. With his, Sid and Ken's names attached I really thought I would have been in for a treat.

Verdict: *

- Al B. Damned
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