Evil Dead (2013)

Director: Fede Alvarez

Writer: Fede Alvarez, Diablo Cody

Starring: Jane Levy, Shiloh Fernandez, Jessica Lucas, Lou Taylor Pucci, Elizabeth Blackmore

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1288558/



 Alright, a re-make of the classic Evil Dead. Everyone knows I pretty much worship at the church of Raimi. So, obviously, this re-make was going to bring me out of hiding to do a new review. I actually was dreading this re-make until I read a couple reviews from the early pre-screenings and checked out some video blogs and everything people said made it seem hopeful. So I started to think, maybe this was going to be worth seeing. They must have been paid off. It was awful.

 I know people are still going to want to see this for themselves, so I don't want to give away too much. So I'll just give a basic run-down. It starts out with something different. Not what you're expecting from watching the original. Which quickly turns to cheese and makes it difficult not to laugh. After that, it's still the basic story of 5 kids going to a cabin in the woods and getting fucked off by demons. A few changes here and there. Names, slight plot variations. We do have some familiar themes in music and sound, but it just wasn't enough. You're led to believe it's going to be brutal, but instead it comes off pretty tame. (Note: adding things like a nail gun and some extra gore does not make a film "brutal". For real brutality you have to bring it home in the script.)

 We had a good time. A small screening party with some good food and a few friends. If it hadn't been for that and I had paid to go see it I would have felt ripped off. In spite of everything I left the theater feeling slightly disappointed.

Verdict: * *

- Xtoph

Red Riding Hood (2011)

Director: Catherine Hardwicke

Writer: David Johnson

Starring: Amanda Seyfried, Lukas Haas, Gary Oldman

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1486185/

 The only reason I watched this was because it was the only movie starting at the time I was chillin' at the theater looking for something to do. I wasn't looking forward to anything touted as being made by the same people that made 'Twilight'.

 This is supposed to be the "real" story of where the fable of Red Riding Hood came from... not likely. A werewolf tale for the teeny-bopper set. The only real thing this has going for it is Gary Oldman and Virginia Madsen. Hokey story and CGI werewolf. It was hard to be impressed...

 Now, it wasn't all bad... I mean... if you compare it to Twilight it's definitely a superior film. ha ha ha. Fuck it.

Verdict: * *

- Xtoph

DC Showcase: Superman/Shazam!: The Return of Black Adam (2010)

Director: Joaquim Dos Santos

Writer: [Superman/Shazam!] Michael Jelenic, [The Spectre] Steve Niles, [Green Arrow] Greg Weisman and [Jonah Hex] Joe R. Lansdale

Starring: [Superman/Shazam!] Zach Callison, James Garner and Josh Keaton [The Spectre] Gary Cole, Alyssa Milano and Jeff Bennett [Green Arrow] Neal McDonough, Malcolm McDowell and Steve Blum [Jonah Hex] Thomas Jane, Linda Hamilton and Jason Marsden

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1701223/


 The feature on this is the Superman/Shazam! cartoon with running time under a half hour. Each of the bonus shows are just over ten minutes each. Pretty lame, they need to be given full treatments.

 "The Return of Black Adam" teams up Superman and Captain Marvel against Black Adam. What's cool is Captain Marvel and Black Adam are basically like Superman as far as strength and general powers, except that they are fueled by magic... which happens to be one of Supe's weaknesses just under Kryptonite. This is actually the origin story for Captain Marvel. He's just a ten year old kid who is pure of heart, so the wizard Shazam bestows the power of the Gods upon him. All he has to do is call the wizard's name and a lightning bolt strikes him and turns him into a bad-ass.

 "The Spectre" is definitly the coolest of the bunch. Written by Steve Niles (30 Days of Night) and has a kind of film noir feel to it. A lot darker than the feature. Definitely my pick of the bunch.

 "Green Arrow" was a let-down. The story felt rushed, just jumping right into an adventure. Seemed more of a showcase for his toys than an actual story. The voice actor was a total mismatch for Ollie. Malcolm McDowell was cool for the villain though. Brief appearance by the Black Canary, but still couldn't save this short.

 Finally we have "Jonah Hex". This one is of a darker nature as well. Joe Lansdale happens to be another of my favorite writers. Just a short episode of a Jonah Hex story. He's a lesser known character, but I guess since the live-action movie had just come out they didn't feel the need to go into origins.

 All in all this collection wasn't too shabby. I think another Superman or Captain Marvel short would have been fitting, but I'll probably go out and buy it just for Jonah Hex and The Spectre. Especially since Niles was involved. The direction was great. Animation was definitely top-notch.

Verdict: * * *

- Xtoph

Buried (2010)

Director: Rodrigo Cortés

Writer: Chris Sparling

Starring: Ryan Reynolds, José Luis García Pérez and Robert Paterson

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1462758/

 Paul Conroy (Ryan Reynolds) is an American civilian truck driver in Iraq delivering supplies. His convoy gets attacked and he wakes up in a coffin buried alive. This is the premise of the film.

 This movie was pretty amazing. I wanted to see this when it came out, but I have not been able to until now. It never came to the theater in Oklahoma. Say what you want, but I've been a fan of Ryan Reynolds a long time. In spite of Van Wilder, that boy can act. I love the whole idea of this film, the low budget and not having any locations. When I told my buddies about 'Buried', their reply was, "Oh, so it's like 'Phone Booth'". After watching it... no... it's nothing like Phone Booth. 'Buried' is much more claustrophobic and terrifying.

 This film, 90 minutes in length, never leaves this coffin. Paul is trapped with nothing but a cell phone and a lighter. Trying to contact his the U.S. Government, the company he works for, his wife. Anything to help him get out. This film starts off slow but the intensity levels rise to extremes and leave you at the edge of you're seat waiting to find out what's going to happen. This seemed real. Ryan Reynolds portrayed it how I would imagine it if I were in the box.

 The only problems I really have are these: 1. They used Ryan Reynolds. I mean, he's good. Damn good in this film, but it's still a recognizable face, which makes it a little difficult to totally lose myself in the film. 2. The rental DVD has absolutely no features whatsoever. Not even a little 5 minute featurette or a commentary track. Nothing. Pretty fucking lame.

Verdict: * * * *

- Xtoph

Please add "Nightmare Alley" to your Netflix queue

A Re-post from our friends at Nightmare Alley:

We need over 1000 people to add "Nightmare Alley" to their Netflix queue before Netflix will pick up the movie! Please add us, rate the movie so we know how many have added it, and invite your friends! Your help is hugely appreciated!

Even if you own or have seen the movie, please add us to your queue as well! You can remove it once they actually pick up the movie and it would be an enormous help in getting "Nightmare Alley" out... there!
CLICK AND SAVE:
http://www.netflix.com/Movie/Nightmare-Alley/70144844?trkid=226872

The Dungeonmaster (1984)

a.k.a. Ragewar

Directed by: Dave Allen, Charles Band, John Carl Buechler, Steven Ford, Peter Manoogian, Ted Nicolaou and Roasemarie Turko

Written by: Charles Band, Allen Actor, Rosemarie Turko, John Carl Buechler, Dave Allen, Jeffrey Byron, Peter Manoogian and Ted Nicolaou

Starring: Jeffrey Byron, Richard Moll and Leslie Wing

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089060/


 Paul Bradford (Jeffrey Byron) is your every day run-of-the-mill computer nerd with a super computer that speaks to him. (Only in the 80's, right?) He's in love with his girlfriend (Leslie Wing) and wants to get married. Mestema (Richard Moll) is a very bored centuries old wizard looking for a good fight. He kidnaps Paul's girlfriend and challenges him to a battle of magic. Paul must complete 7 tasks to win back his woman.

 You gotta love the low-budget 80's flicks. Seven battles, means seven writers and directors each doing their own part to the anthology. What we have is something reminiscent of Sinbad's seventh voyage and Beastmaster in the modern world, pitting science vs. the occult. Only, Paul's just not as bad-ass as Sinbad or as likable as Dar. The directing ain't that great, and you can tell it's been pieced together. What I do love is Richard Moll. He is always the perfect cartoon villain. When I was a kid I couldn't look at him and not see Bull from Night Court, but he really pulls these roles off well. If you go in not expecting much but wanting to have a good time and a laugh then check this out. And if everything I mentioned wasn't enough...  Charles Band's segment "Heavy Metal" puts Paul up against none other than Blackie Lawless and W.A.S.P.!!!

Verdict: * * *

- Xtoph

Coming Soon - H-P Presents: They Came From The Grave

 Coming soon from Horror-Punks.com: They Came from the Grave Vol.1 Featuring videos and trailers from the members of Horror-Punks.com with videos from: Mongrel-Others-Dragnun-Under a Nightmare-The Murdersquad t.o.-Dead United-Chef Brandon Perry-Spawn Atomic-Dr. Spookenstein-ZOMBIE!-The Spectremen-Ghost of Penely Chase-Werevilsdare-The Cloister Fuck-Fear Incorporated-Christophe-Pussing Eye Productions-Derek Young (Family Property)-The Quintessentials-Creep Creepersin (Creepersin, Creepersin Films)-The Monistats-Nightmare Alley-Six Gun Salvation-Lurking Corpses-Lugosi's Morphine-Batsupsidedown-Von Bones. Background Music "Bride of Frankenrock" by Batsupsidedown

Game Review: Zombies!!! The Director's Cut

Twilight Creations
http://www.twilightcreationsinc.com/
Tile Based Strategy Board Game
2-6 Players

Zombies!!! is a fun fast past (once you get the rules down, it's only four pages) tile based boardgame. You basically have to get to the helipad and escape the zombie apocalypse, or if you can't put the helipad in play get 25 zombie kills. Sounds simple right. Wrong. The other players are constantly screwing you over by attacking you with zombies or surrounding you with zombies. If that wasn't bad enough they also take away your bullets, you get three to start, and take away zombie kills. Not to mention the taking away of weapons and items in play. On the bright side there are lots of bullets and hearts in buildings and such. Play goes as follows: draw an event card if you have less than three, three is a reoccurring theme in this game, and draw and lay down a tile. Move. Fighting zombies along the way. Then zombie movement, kill the other players. Discard event cards if you want. Next players turn. Now you use bullets to modify attack rolls, you must get a 4 or better. Your hearts represent damage, when you can't modify a roll or don't want to you take away hearts. So go on out and get this game. You'll have lots of fun. Just watch out for the zombies!!! By the way, if you get bored you can get expansions for the game that add new types of zombies (including zombie dogs), more tiles, and add on or alternate scenarios.

Verdict: * * * * *

John (B)D

Wicked Little Things (2006) DVD

Director: J.S. Cardone

Starring: Lori Heuring, Scout Taylor-Compton and Chloe Moretz

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0470000/

 Wicked Little Things is about a recently widowed woman and her two daughters. She was left kind of broke with only an old home inherited from her husbands family. The home is on land next to an old mine where a bunch of children died. Needless to say the ghosts of the dead children are not happy with the hand they've been delt. Not the most original of the bunch, but still well written and filmed. I enjoyed this one.

 This was originally in the After Dark line... One of the cool things about it is that it gives us an early look at two awesome talents in the genre Scout Taylor-Compton (Rob Zombie's Halloweens) and Chloe Moretz (Let Me In & Kick-Ass). Currently it's in the Netflix "Watch Instantly" so stop by and check it out!

Verdict: * * *

- Xtoph

Wednesday 13 "Bloodwork" - CD - Angled Doors Review

Wednesday 13 returned this year with his long awaited new album "Skeletons". AT the same time he also released an EP of some extra material that he felt didn't quite fit in with the rest of the album. We're treated to 6 songs. The first two are what you wold expect form the horror maestro. "B-Movie Babylon" & "Return of the Living Dead". Then we get a cover of Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers "Running Down a Dream" and a new rendition of "I Love To Say Fuck". The real gems on this EP are the last two tracks... acoustic renderings of "My Demise" & "Skeletons" re-named "My Demise B.C." & "Skeletons A.D.". These two tracks are worth the purchase price alone.

- Xtoph

Unrest - DVD - Angled Doors Reviews

 One of After Dark Horror Fest's 8 films to die for, Unrest, is a pretty suspenseful little horror/thriller. Very well written and directed it follows a young med student as she starts her gross anatomy class. She gets some weird vibes from her cadaver and wants to know more about her... then people that have come in contact with the cadaver start dropping off. Pretty cool movie and not what you've come to expect from most horror films. Worth checking out.

- Xtoph

Transylvania Twist - DVD - Angled Doors Reviews

 An 80's classic. If you liked films like Transylvania 6-500 or My Best Friend Is A Vampire then you'll dig this movie. Tongue in cheek from the start with lots of nods to classic horror and pop culture in general. Horror fanatics will enjoy Angus Scrimm's small role. Plus this dvd has scenes that were cut from the original video release.

- Xtoph

The Hamiltons - DVD - Angled Doors Reviews

 One of After Dark Horror Fest's 8 films to die for. Ok. There is so much I want to say about The Hamiltons, but there is so much I can't say because I DON'T want to give it away. So I'll just leave you with this. It's about a bunch of kids whose parents died, the oldest takes charge of the clan and tries to keep them together the best he can. That's all I'm going to tell you. This is the best horror film I have seen in a very long time. So far it is my favorite from the "After Dark" series. You need to see this film!

- Xtoph

Pigeons From Hell - TPB - Angled Doors Review

 To start out... this is not a straight up adaptation of the Robert E. Howard story, but don't let that turn you away. This mini-series is a continuation of sorts of the source material. Taking place in modern times we begin meeting the descendants of the plantation owners. Just received the house and land in an inheritance. A good way to start. The story telling was great. Intelligent writing and superb artwork that fit well with the dark content. If your a Robert E. Howard fan or just love a good scare tale then pick this up. The collected edition will be out in January 2009.

- Xtoph

Penny Dreadful - DVD - Angled Doors Review

 One of After Dark Horror Fest's 8 films to die for. Penny Dreadful is about a girl who survived a bad car wreck. It leaves her real jacked up and she won't even get in a car, let alone drive. Her doctor (Mimi Rogers) decides to take her on a road trip to overcome her fears. Big mistake. Shit gets all fucked up. She's trapped inside this car and... well... just watch the movie. Along the way we also get to see small roles by Mickey Jones (A biker in 100 movies and member of The First Edition) and Michael Berryman (The Hills Have Eyes).

- Xtoph

P2 - DVD - Angled Doors Review

 This chick is working late on Christmas Eve. She gets locked in the parking garage by the creepy bag guy from American Beauty. He's been obsessing for her for a long time and instead of asking her for a date decides to kidnap and terrorize her. It's not really for the horror fanatic, but for the average movie goer it's a good thriller. A couple good shots in it though. My mom watched this one based on my review and called me up and said "Never Again!!! It was so gory!!! I don't know how I made it to the end!". But, it's not really that gory at all. Just one scene. one.

- Xtoph

Munchies - DVD - Angled Doors Review

 Munchies is another classic 80's horror/comedy no one should miss. This is the b-movie Gremlins wanna-be. Charlie Stratton (Summer Camp Nightmare), who looks a lot like Fright Night's William Ragsdale, and his father find a creature they think is an alien. They take it home and it gets kidnapped by the films villain (Harvey Korman, Caroll Burnett show and 5 million other things). The thing multiplies (Gremlins?) and Charlie and his girlfriend (Nadine Ven der Velde from Critters) chase them around the rest of the movie with hilarious b-movie antics abound. They even go so far as to have a scene where someone is looking at a National Enquirer type rag with "Gremlin?" as the headline followed by the Munchies speeding down the street in their stolen car... which happens to be a Gremlin.

- Xtoph

Marvel Zombies - TPB - Angled Doors Review

 Taking place in an alternate universe, a zombie plague has hit the planet earth infecting everyone, even our mightiest heroes. After being turned into zombies our heroes ravaged the earth eating everyone. This takes place when our zombie heroes are searching the earth any remaining life... to eat. The hunt down Magneto, then devour the Silver Surfer and in the process gain some of his powers... then take on the mighty Galactus. This series is very tongue in cheek. Some great artwork and a humorous storyline. As a bonus all the covers are included in here, which are zombie versions of some of Marvel's classic covers like Amazing Fantasy #15 & Fantastic Four #1, just to name a couple.

- Xtoph

Lost Boys 2: The Tribe - DVD - Angled Doors Review

 If your looking for a direct sequel to the original Lost Boys, this isn't it. It picks up many years later in a new town with some annoying surfer vamps. Cool cameo in the beginning with Tom Savini though. About half an hour into the movie we finally get introduced to Edgar Frog (Corey Feldman) , the only returning character. What happened to his brother? It only hints at first. (In the bonus features we find out he's a vamp) It's basically the same old story. Kids move to new town, hang out with vamps and get turned. Try to fight it and kill the head vampire so they can be normal again. Edgar comes in shows them some comics and saves the day. The real story that we wanted to see starts at the end. Sam (Corey Haim) returns and he's a vamp. Him and Edgar battle it out... but we only get to see the very beginning of the fight, then it's more credits. Can't wait for part three!

- Xtoph

Kenny & Co. - DVD - Angled Doors Review

 Classic film about childhood. It's a good fun family film by director Don Coscarelli. (Phantasm) This is a fun movie dealing with a lot of things. If you grew up in the 70's or 80's this will have you heading on a trip of nostalgia. Most of the cast from Phantasm was also in this film. It was the Halloween night segment of the movie that made Coscarelli decide he wanted to do a horror film.

- Xtoph