Battle: Los Angeles (2011)

Director: Jonathan Liebesman

Writer: Christopher Bertolini

Starring: Aaron Eckhart, Michelle Rodriguez, Bridget Moynahan

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1217613/

 Another fucking alien invasion movie... really? If you're going to do, at least try to do it right... there were so many bad-ass ones in the 80's. The 90's were even alright... yes... even Will Smith. But this dreck they've been shoveling down out throats? Not even entertaining.

 We open up in the middle of battle, L.A. is a warzone, then it cuts 24 hours or so earlier. Let's us get to know our little group of marines and how they got together. Lets us know enough of their personal lives so we care about them. Halfway through the movie we finally get to see some lame aliens and space-ships. Nothing great.

 Worst part of the film... it's not even single camera self-shot like 'Cloverfield' or anything. It's pro-shot like a real movie is supposed to be, complete with "moving" cinematic score. Worst part is... the goddamn thing is shakier than the  'Blair Witch Project', seriously... no wonder the pregnant chick puked and left early... When you have a budget this big, invest in a steady-cam so we can see what the hell is going on guys. Oh... and is anyone else sick of Michelle Rodriguez? I mean seriously... she's not that hot and does anyone actually buy her as a tough-as-nails bad-ass chick like she always, always, always portrays?

Verdict: *

- Xtoph

I Am Number Four (2011)

Director: D.J. Caruso

Writers: Alfred Gough, Mile Millar

Starring: Alex Pettyfer, Timothy Olyphant, Dianna Agron

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1464540/

 Not knowing what I was in for I chose films based on what time they started. In this one, Alex Pettyfer plays John, or number Four. AN alien heart-throb that belongs on the WB, or whatever television station plays this crap nowadays. Mean aliens tried to kill off his kind and are hunting him down after they escaped to the planet earth. They try and blend in and move around a lot. He falls in love and doesn't want to keep moving. The bad aliens find him and they battle. The end. Great storyline, right?

 If your into shows like Smallville and whatever kinda crap like that they play on the teevee, you'll dig this flick. It's got pretty girls and boys, lots of craptastic action, aliens and laser guns and childish humor. All the makings of a classic. I wouldn't waste my ten bucks on this...

Verdict: * *

- Xtoph

Highlander Season 4 (1995)

Directors: Various

Writers: Various

Starring: Adrian Paul, Lisa Howard, Stan Kirsch, Jim Byrnes, Philip Akin & Peter Wingfield

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103442/episodes#season-4

 We open up this season with Duncan (Adrian Paul) traveling back to his native Scotland to find out who's been robbing the family graves. We get some more background info on Joe Dawson (Jim Byrnes) in episode two. Learn how he lost his legs and how he became a watcher. Kenny (Myles Ferguson), the 800 year old immortal in the ten year old body, returns to stir up some shit. Duncan experiences a "dark quickening" and becomes evil. Joe gets put on trial by the watchers for letting the immortals know about him and befriending Duncan. This was a great cliffhanger for the next season, on Netflix they give the first episode of Season 5 (One Minute To Midnight) as the last episode for Season 4.

 This seasons guest appearances again weren't that high-profile. A lot of people that made there careers in television. It did however pick up in storyline. There were a few episodes that took the spotlight off of Duncan and onto some of the supporting cast. When you're in the middle of a six-season marathon, that's a good thing.

Verdict: * * * *

- Xtoph

Highlander Season 3 (1994)

Directors: Various

Writers: Various

Starring: Adrian Paul, Lisa Howard, Stan Kirsch, Jim Byrnes & Philip Akin

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103442/episodes#season-3

 The Highlander marathon continues with Season 3. This season Duncan (Adrian Paul) finds a new love interest in Anne Lindsey (Lisa Howard) an ER Doctor. So she's around most of the season. Things start off light with one of Richie's old girlfriends show up claiming he's the father of her baby, and he's dumb enough to fall for it even though immortals can't have children. Also, episodes where Duncan has to babysit newly immortal 18 year olds or comes across an 800 year old in a ten year old body. Things get darker mid-season when Duncan starts having hallucinations and fighting demons that aren't there in "Shadows". By episode 14 we are introduced to Kalas (David Robb), a real bad dude that Duncan has a long-going feud with. Methos (Peter Wingfield), the oldest immortal, also shows up this round. Turns out he's been posing as a watcher. For the season finale, another two-parter, one of the watchers decides to copy all of the watcher files and take them to a news agency to expose all the immortals.

 This season was pretty good, as they all are, no complaints here. Not as many high-profile guest stars. Chandra West from Puppetmaster 3 & 4 was in an episode and so was Brion James form Blade Runner. A lot of good music was featured though. Jim Byrnes who plays Joe Dawson is a blues musician so we got some of his music. His character started a club called "Joe's Place" so more blues was featured in a few episodes.

Verdict: * * * *

- Xtoph

DC Showcase: Superman/Shazam!: The Return of Black Adam (2010)

Director: Joaquim Dos Santos

Writer: [Superman/Shazam!] Michael Jelenic, [The Spectre] Steve Niles, [Green Arrow] Greg Weisman and [Jonah Hex] Joe R. Lansdale

Starring: [Superman/Shazam!] Zach Callison, James Garner and Josh Keaton [The Spectre] Gary Cole, Alyssa Milano and Jeff Bennett [Green Arrow] Neal McDonough, Malcolm McDowell and Steve Blum [Jonah Hex] Thomas Jane, Linda Hamilton and Jason Marsden

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1701223/


 The feature on this is the Superman/Shazam! cartoon with running time under a half hour. Each of the bonus shows are just over ten minutes each. Pretty lame, they need to be given full treatments.

 "The Return of Black Adam" teams up Superman and Captain Marvel against Black Adam. What's cool is Captain Marvel and Black Adam are basically like Superman as far as strength and general powers, except that they are fueled by magic... which happens to be one of Supe's weaknesses just under Kryptonite. This is actually the origin story for Captain Marvel. He's just a ten year old kid who is pure of heart, so the wizard Shazam bestows the power of the Gods upon him. All he has to do is call the wizard's name and a lightning bolt strikes him and turns him into a bad-ass.

 "The Spectre" is definitly the coolest of the bunch. Written by Steve Niles (30 Days of Night) and has a kind of film noir feel to it. A lot darker than the feature. Definitely my pick of the bunch.

 "Green Arrow" was a let-down. The story felt rushed, just jumping right into an adventure. Seemed more of a showcase for his toys than an actual story. The voice actor was a total mismatch for Ollie. Malcolm McDowell was cool for the villain though. Brief appearance by the Black Canary, but still couldn't save this short.

 Finally we have "Jonah Hex". This one is of a darker nature as well. Joe Lansdale happens to be another of my favorite writers. Just a short episode of a Jonah Hex story. He's a lesser known character, but I guess since the live-action movie had just come out they didn't feel the need to go into origins.

 All in all this collection wasn't too shabby. I think another Superman or Captain Marvel short would have been fitting, but I'll probably go out and buy it just for Jonah Hex and The Spectre. Especially since Niles was involved. The direction was great. Animation was definitely top-notch.

Verdict: * * *

- Xtoph

Highlander Season 2 (1993)

Directors: Various

Writers: Various

Starring: Adrian Paul, Alexandra Vandernoot, Stan Kirsch, Jim Byrnes & Philip Akin

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103442/episodes#season-2

 Season 2 brings us another 22 episodes beginning with "The Watchers", where we are introduced to Joe Dawson (Jim Byrnes) the watcher Duncan (Adrian Paul) becomes friends with and is a mainstay in the series. Later in the series Duncan has to take on a mortal serial killer that likes to kill immortals. Tessa (Alexandra Vandersnoot) & Richie (Stan Kirsch) get shot by a mugger. Duncan moves to a dojo after Tessa's death. Richie takes his first head and Duncan gives him the boot without so much as a handshake. Xavier St. Cloud (Roland Gift) returns and really fucks shit up for Duncan while teaming up with the renegade watcher, Horton (Peter Hudson). Towards the end of the season Richie returns to ask Duncan for help because another immortal is killing humans and framing him for the murders. Then for the two part season finale Horton comes back yet again, this time giving a convicted murderer plastic surgery to look like Tessa in his attempt to kill Duncan.

 This was a pretty wicked season. Had a few cool guest stars as well. Geraint Wyn Davies (of Forever Knight), Traci Lords & Sheena Easton all show up early in the season. Dustin Nguyen (of 21 Jump Street) returns playing a completely different character than he did in Season 1. Wtf? Rowdy Roddy Piper kicks some ass in episode 10, but still should have been used a lot more than they did... And Roland Gift (Fine Young Cannibals) reprises his role as Xavier St. Cloud, one of the greatest villains ever.

Verdict: * * * *

- Xtoph

Highlander Season 1 (1992)

Directors: Various

Writers: Various

Starring: Adrian Paul, Alexandra Vandernoot & Stan Kirsch

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103442/episodes#season-1

 I haven't really been keeping up the reviews as of lat because I've been on a Highlander kick. Just finished season 1 yesterday and didn't plan on talking about it until I realized there are people that have no clue what "Highlander" is. I was talking to one of my friends and she has never even heard of it. Such a disappointment... Anyway, I figured what with prospect of a new movie in talk. Maybe I should go ahead and give a little run-down on it.

 Highlander the series, a spin-off from the feature film franchise, follows the immortal Duncan MacLeod (Adrian Paul) of the Clan MacLeod. (Not to be confused with Conner of the movies, as they say in the show "Same clan, different vintage".

 For those who don't know. The Highlander, in this case Duncan (In the movies Conner, the animated series Quentin and the anime Colin) is a legendary immortal from the Highlands of Scotland. Hence... Highlander. Being a highlander has nothing to do with being immortal. The immortals are a race that no one knows the true origins of. The basics are this: They don't die unless you cut off their heads. They live by the rule "There Can Be Only One". They all fight for the prize. To be the last immortal. When they cut off another's head they gain all of their knowledge and power (the quickening). They won't fight each other on holy ground. That is the basic rundown.

 So the series follows Duncan in modern times (the 90's) and has flashbacks to all kinds of different eras. The other two main characters are his girlfriend Tessa (Alexandra Vandernoot) and a kid he takes in, Richie Ryan (Stan Kirsch). There are all kinds of stuff going on it this series. The opening episode, "The Gathering" features both Duncan and Conner (Christopher Lambert). He takes on people that are not immortals as well... Episode 6 they are held hostage in a courtroom by a convicted killer (Andrew Divoff). Or in episode 8 where a mad scientist (Joe Pantoliano) kidnapping people from the emergency room to experiment on them.

 If you're a music fan like me, some of the guest stars include Joan Jett, Vanity, Roland Gift (Fine Young Cannibals) and Roger Daltry (The Who). Or if your a genre fan people like Andrew Divoff (The Wishmaster) and Marc Singer (Beastmaster). This season we are also introduced for the first time to Amanda (Elizabeth Gracen) who became a mainstay in the series and star of the spin-off Highlander: The Raven, and in the 22nd episode the secret society of watchers. A Great place to leave us hanging for season 2.

 So, obviously I'm a nerd for this series, but I think it stands the test of time. I love re-watching this show. It ran for six seasons, so I'll be dropping off a few more season run-downs. You can watch it on Netflix. I'm sure it's on syndication in televison somewhere as well...

Verdict: * * * *

- Xtoph

White Lightning - DVD - Angled Doors Review

 Any movie with Burt Reynolds running booze is good. This one caught me off guard. This is real, not no comedy. Starts off with Burt in prison. His brother gets murdered by some small town sheriff (Ned Beatty). He decides he needs to get revenge. He cuts a deal with the state to bring in moonshiners so he can get out early. This has all the fast cars and fast women you'd expect, but this one's got a darker tone. This is a must have film in my collection.

- Xtoph

Turok - X-Box 360 Game - Angled Doors Reviews

 I've been a big fan of Turok Dinosaur Hunter for a long time now. I grew up on the comics. I've played a few of the video game versions of this franchise but never really liked them. That has changed. This version has a good story, great voice actors, good graphics. Enjoyable game-play. It's easy to control your character and the game isn't too simple or too hard to get through. Lots of cool weapons to choose from. You can load up with the big firepower or you can sneak up and cut someone's throat. Lots of dinosaurs. If your not careful they will get you, but you can also lure them in to attack your enemies. The coolest part of the game is the on-line function. Lots of maps and several game styles to choose from. You can play with up to 16 people at once. It's like Halo with dinosaurs thrown in the mix. Also, you can purchase more maps through X-Box live for only 400 Microsoft points.

- Xtoph

The Club - X-Box 360 Game - Angled Doors Review

 Not much of a plot or any story on this one, but that doesn't matter. It's a lot of fun gameplay. Basically you are a member of the club. A bunch of rich pricks with guns that want to hunt something that can hunt back. You get to choose form a handful of characters, all of which have different stats and play a little differently. You go through a bunch of levels and have different types of gameplay. All a lot of fun, but the real fun is, as always, the online play. Up to 15 real time opponents. Plus if you don't have online access you can play with up to four of your buddies in a split screen mode. Worth checking out.

- Xtoph

Marvel Ultimate Alliance - X-Box 360 Game - Angled Doors Review

 Marvel Ultimate Alliance is probably the coolest all ages game I have played on the 360. It's not too dark and gritty for my nephews like a lot of my super-hero stuff is, but it's also not too "kiddie" for me to enjoy, like some of the super-hero games I've played have been. The gameplay and graphics in this are reminiscent of the arcades I played growing up. I'm totally digging it. You can choose your own team from a bunch of different Marvel characters. Unlock new characters as you play or purchase some from the Live Marketplace. Each character has four different costumes. Like the Hulk for example, you can play The Hulk with the purple pants, Hulk from issue 1, Planet Hulk, or my personal favorite... Joe Fixit. That's when Hulk was grey, wore a suit and tie and worked in Vegas. Each character has several versions, which in turn can make them other characters. (ie: Iron Man, War Machine) This also has online gameplay, which I have not got to check out yet, but apparently you can go through the entire mission with your buddies. There are several versions of this game. The Regular Edition, the Forza 2 dual pack (This one is the regular edition and Forza 2, a race car game) and then the Gold Edition which has some of the bonus characters you can purchase on live for the regular edition already programmed in.

- Xtoph

Civil War: Front Line Vol. 2 - TPB - Angled Doors Review

 Collecting Civil War: Front Line #7-11. Just like with the other Civil War books, this has a lot going on. Speedball is brought out from prison and gets shot in the gut. After losing his powers he has no way to deflect it. There is a traitor on the pro-registration side. Norman Osborn, the Green Goblin, is released form jail and takes on some Atlanteans, nearly causing a war. Some searching by Ben and Peter Parker finds out that Iron Man knew about things before they were happening and was playing with the stock market in anticipation of events. Speedball finally decides to sign the registration, and in development of his new powers burns his old costume and becomes Penance. Yeah... and more... check it out.

- Xtoph

Civil War - TPB - Angled Doors Review

 Collecting Civil War #1-7. This is THE Marvel Comics event! It starts off with Speedball and the New Warriors busting a house of super villains for their reality tv show. In the process a school gets blown up killing a ton of little kids. The American public turns on ALL super powered individuals. Johnny Storm gets beaten to near death outside a club. The government decides to put "heroes" in check. Their start a "Super Hero Registration Act" requiring all super powered people to register or be viewed as a criminal. Who do they get to head this up? Iron Man. He gets Spider-man on his side and Spidey reveals his identity in a press conference. Captain America goes rogue and heads up an underground resistance with the help of Nick Fury. Geez... so much is going on in this book I can't even list it all. This is a MUST READ for any Marvel Universe fan!

- Xtoph

Gears Of War - X-Box 360 Game - Angled Doors Review

 This is probably the most addictive game I've played for the X-box 360. Great graphics. All the characters look bad-ass. Wicked looking bad guys. Game control is good. I like some of the abilities available that other shooters don't have. It was a tough game to beat, but it was a fun challenge that I had to keep going back too 'til I was done. Has online gameplay too.

- Xtoph

Green Arrow: Quiver - TPB - Angled Doors Reviews

 This collects issues 1-10 of Green Arrow written by Kevin Smith. (Clerks) I just re-read this for the first time since they came out. Still stands up. If you've seen any of Kevin's movies you know he has a great knack for dialogue. Although it's only 10 issues, it feels like we're getting more. There is so much story. Ollie (G.A.) returns, after being dead for over a decade. Everything has changed, but the thing is... he is still the same. Turns out he was brought back the way he was pre-crisis, pre-eclipso, pre-any universe altering events that have happened in the DCU for a while. To top things off, he has no soul. If you are an old-school Green Arrow fan, as I am, you will love this... but even if you're not it's a great read. Lot's of appearances by other favorite DC characters. All the old Justice League and more.

- Xtoph

Daredevil: Director's Cut - DVD - Angled Doors Review

 It's been a while since I watched the theatrical cut of this film, but I did notice a few things. It's got a few longer sequences and some added ones. I don't remember Coolio being on the first one at all, but there is a lot of him in this one. There is a lot more development of Matt Murdock as a character, as opposed to his alter-ego the Daredevil. The movie is still just ok. Not as awesome as a Daredevil movie should be, but I'd take the Director's Cut over the theatrical version. There was a lot more in the film to make it worthwhile.

- Xtoph

Convoy - DVD - Angled Doors Review

 I'm sure you remember the classic song by CW McCall, well this is the movie. Kris Kristofferson plays the Rubber Duck. Him and some trucker buddies get fucked with by some small town cop and they get in their trucks and head for the border. The cops chase them and more and more truckers join up starting the huge convoy. That's the basic plot. Great film. Another must have.

- Xtoph

Conan - X-Box 360 Game - Angled Doors Review

 Robert E. Howard's classic character brought to life for you to control. Similar to God Of War, but it's Conan. Lot's of weapons and you can buy moves and upgrade your character. But most importantly: Blood, Boobs and Gore. That's what makes it Conan. Dig it.

- Xtoph

Batman: Under The Red Hood (2010) Netflix Review

Director: Brandon Vietti

Starring: Bruce Greenwood, Jensen Ackles, John Di Maggio & Neil Patrick Harris

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1569923/

Dug this up on the netflix "Watch Instantly", totally worth it. I've been down on a lot of the straight to dvd comic flicks that have been coming out as of late. Not so much worth it. They started off strong, making good quality flicks. Good animation with a tight storyline. Then they started dropping 'em out every five seconds. They became a dime a dozen and the writing and art both started to suffer. Not the cast with "Under The Red Hood" though. This it top choice.

We all know the story of Batman, but you all may not know the story of The Red Hood or of Robin. Two central characters in this film. So let me fill you in. The Red Hood was a career criminal identity taken by many, the night it became significant was the night The Joker was created. (This was told in Alan Moore's "The Killing Joke" go to your local comic shop and get this key book) So The Red Hood from this fateful night became the infamous villain the Joker. The original boy wonder, Dick Grayson, grew up and left Bats to become Nightwing. Batman later picked up a new squire by the name of Jason Todd. In the comic book world the readers hated him. He was a whiny little prick bitch. They hated him so much they actually had a contest where the readers dialed a number to vote what happened to him and had The Joker off this kid. So in the "A Death In The Family" story arc (also available at your local comic shop) The Joker beats this kid to near death with a crowbar and then, blows him the fuck up... and Batmans bitch ass still doesn't kill him.

SO here we are at the dvd... "Under The Red Hood" opening with what I never thought I'd see on the screen... The Joker, beating Robin into a bloody pulp with a crowbar. Nice. Then... blowing him to Kingdom Come. Now, I don't want to give the story away, for those who have not seen or red the comics about this story. So, if you afraid of spoilers skip this... I'll be vague, but it still might give some away. Basically, a new Red Hood comes to town. He's crime boss supreme, turning all the crime bosses against each other and taking over the turf. Of course the Joker is suspected so a trip to arkham is necessary. We got some Ra's Al Ghul action and a little Black Mask and if I tell you more I've told you the film. All you need to know is this... if you only rent one comic book themed cartoon this year... this is the one to get.

Verdict: * * * * 1/2

- Xtoph

Black Dynamite ( 2009 ) Netflix Review

Starring: Michael Jai White, Obba Babatundé, Tommy Davidson, Arsenio Hall, Byron Minns, Cedric Yarbrough, & Miguel A. Núñez Jr.

Directed By Scott Sanders

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1190536/


     8 months ago I saw a preview for Black Dynamite and lost it.  I didn't know if it was a joke trailer on Youtube, or an actual movie.  I researched it and found out that it was an actual movie, with an actual cast.  To my surprise though, the movie was really funny and at the same time an homage to early Blaxpoitation films of the 70's.  After 3 to 4 screenings I still find new stuff to laugh at or back up the scene to catch something I missed.

     Black Dynamite is the story of an ex CIA/Kung Fu Master/Pimp/total badass who is trying to clean up the streets.  Early on Dynamites brother is gunned down, and BD must find his brothers killer.  As if that's not enough, the local orphanage is being flooded with Heroin, the streets are a chaotic mess, and a new malt liquor called Anaconda is being introduced to the streets with a very nasty side effect.

     The real sealer for me was the extra stuff added to make this seem like an actual Blaxpoitation film.  The grain of the original 70's low budget films is here on dislpay. Also the bad acting and chessy fighting scenes are here too.  Seeing a character take a hit off of an unlit cigarette and cough, watching another character named bullhorn slap an extra ( on accident ) and almost get punched himself, & Black Dynamite try to get serious only to have the boom mic pop into the shot are only a taste of the goodies in store for you the viewer.

      If you liked Dolemite or Coffy then you will love this movie.

-Mr. What?- ( * * * * )