Red Riding Hood (2011)

Director: Catherine Hardwicke

Writer: David Johnson

Starring: Amanda Seyfried, Lukas Haas, Gary Oldman

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1486185/

 The only reason I watched this was because it was the only movie starting at the time I was chillin' at the theater looking for something to do. I wasn't looking forward to anything touted as being made by the same people that made 'Twilight'.

 This is supposed to be the "real" story of where the fable of Red Riding Hood came from... not likely. A werewolf tale for the teeny-bopper set. The only real thing this has going for it is Gary Oldman and Virginia Madsen. Hokey story and CGI werewolf. It was hard to be impressed...

 Now, it wasn't all bad... I mean... if you compare it to Twilight it's definitely a superior film. ha ha ha. Fuck it.

Verdict: * *

- Xtoph

Battle: Los Angeles (2011)

Director: Jonathan Liebesman

Writer: Christopher Bertolini

Starring: Aaron Eckhart, Michelle Rodriguez, Bridget Moynahan

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1217613/

 Another fucking alien invasion movie... really? If you're going to do, at least try to do it right... there were so many bad-ass ones in the 80's. The 90's were even alright... yes... even Will Smith. But this dreck they've been shoveling down out throats? Not even entertaining.

 We open up in the middle of battle, L.A. is a warzone, then it cuts 24 hours or so earlier. Let's us get to know our little group of marines and how they got together. Lets us know enough of their personal lives so we care about them. Halfway through the movie we finally get to see some lame aliens and space-ships. Nothing great.

 Worst part of the film... it's not even single camera self-shot like 'Cloverfield' or anything. It's pro-shot like a real movie is supposed to be, complete with "moving" cinematic score. Worst part is... the goddamn thing is shakier than the  'Blair Witch Project', seriously... no wonder the pregnant chick puked and left early... When you have a budget this big, invest in a steady-cam so we can see what the hell is going on guys. Oh... and is anyone else sick of Michelle Rodriguez? I mean seriously... she's not that hot and does anyone actually buy her as a tough-as-nails bad-ass chick like she always, always, always portrays?

Verdict: *

- Xtoph

Rango (2011)

Director: Gore Verbinski

Writer: John Logan

Starring: Johnny Depp, Isla Fisher, Timothy Olyphant

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1192628/

 I was not looking forward to seeing this when I first saw the trailer. I'm just sick of Johnny Depp doing kid's films. I want to see something different. I lucked out with this one... it's one of those cartoons you can take the kids too, but it's really aimed for the adults.

 Johnny Depp plays Rango, a pet chameleon that gets tossed out onto the highway when the owners have a near accident. That then sends him on a journey through the desert to the town of Dirt. Here he becomes the Sherriff, meets a girl, has some adventures and eventually finds himself. Fun stuff really.

 A lot of kooky characters, a lot you will recognize who they were modeled after. Coolest part is the little tribute to Hunter S. Thompson! Timothy Olyphant plays Rango's spirit guide. The Man With No Name, totally modeled after Clint Eastwood's character from the old spaghetti westerns.

Verdict: * * *

- Xtoph

I Am Number Four (2011)

Director: D.J. Caruso

Writers: Alfred Gough, Mile Millar

Starring: Alex Pettyfer, Timothy Olyphant, Dianna Agron

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1464540/

 Not knowing what I was in for I chose films based on what time they started. In this one, Alex Pettyfer plays John, or number Four. AN alien heart-throb that belongs on the WB, or whatever television station plays this crap nowadays. Mean aliens tried to kill off his kind and are hunting him down after they escaped to the planet earth. They try and blend in and move around a lot. He falls in love and doesn't want to keep moving. The bad aliens find him and they battle. The end. Great storyline, right?

 If your into shows like Smallville and whatever kinda crap like that they play on the teevee, you'll dig this flick. It's got pretty girls and boys, lots of craptastic action, aliens and laser guns and childish humor. All the makings of a classic. I wouldn't waste my ten bucks on this...

Verdict: * *

- Xtoph

Take Me Home Tonight (2011)

Director: Michael Dowse

Writers: Jackie Filgo, Jeff Filgo

Starring: Topher Grace, Anna Faris, Dan Fogler

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0810922/

 Second movie I saw was 'Take Me Home Tonight', the new Topher Grace film. Not really sure how he made if from television to feature films since he's the same in everything he does.

 Topher Grace is a loser who has done nothing with his life and works at the local video store. He has had a crush on a chick out of his league all through school. She come to the store and he lies to act like he's successful now that they are out of high school. She invites him to a party. He calls his buddy who gets fired from his job. They steal a car and snort some coke and party. **Spoiler Alert** An hour and a half later Topher Grace grows some balls and gets the girl.

 This should have had some nostalgia or something, but I felt nothing. There were a few laughs and some tit's once or twice. Nothing to write home about. I kinda have a thing for Anna Faris though... so it was cool seeing her play a chick that was only a little whorish instead of completely whorish like usual. There is really nothing redeeming about this film.

Verdict: * *

- Xtoph

Just Go With It (2011)

Director: Dennis Dugan

Writers: Allan Loeb, Timothy Dowling

Starring: Adam Sandler, Jennifer Aniston, Brooklyn Decker

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1564367/

 Just got off the road and back in Oklahoma, where I can actually find myself in a theater. I got back here and had no clue what any of the movies out were about. It's been so long since I've been in a theater that I haven't seen a preview for one of them. I guess that's what happens when you live on the road and crash places with no television. I tell ya though... I don't feel as though I was missing anything. These movies kept me half-assed entertained for a couple hours, but nothing stuck with me. There was no style or substance. I'll still give you the run down though, I watched 'em... so I might as well give ya a head's up to what it's all about.

 First flick I saw was the new Adam Sandler vehicle 'Just Go With It', I popped into my old theater and while waiting around one of the kids asked me if I wanted to see that one. It's about what you would expect from Adam Sandler. Tired jokes and absurd situations that you completely forget about once you leave the theater.

 Adam Sandler plays a schmuck named Danny. He has a huge honker and a slut for a girlfriend. His wedding day he overhears her talking about her sexcapades  and heads to the bar. Finds out his sob story can get him laid by hot women, keeps the ring and whores himself out for the next decade. During this time he's become a plastic surgeon and got his nose fixed. He meets this babe Palmer (Brooklyn Decker) and thinks he loves her, so he piles li upon lie upon lie... Gets himself a fake family and fake ex-wife, his secretary Jennifer Aniston, and heads off on a Hawaiian vacation with his new girl and fake family. Hijinks ensue and... you guessed it... he falls for Jennifer Aniston. Never saw it coming, did ya?

 It's filled with the same basic humor you come to expect from Sandler film. Nothing new here and leaves you wondering when this horse will die.

Verdict: * *

- Xtoph

Finger Bang!

A message from Creep Creepersin about Finger Bang!

Highlander Season 4 (1995)

Directors: Various

Writers: Various

Starring: Adrian Paul, Lisa Howard, Stan Kirsch, Jim Byrnes, Philip Akin & Peter Wingfield

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103442/episodes#season-4

 We open up this season with Duncan (Adrian Paul) traveling back to his native Scotland to find out who's been robbing the family graves. We get some more background info on Joe Dawson (Jim Byrnes) in episode two. Learn how he lost his legs and how he became a watcher. Kenny (Myles Ferguson), the 800 year old immortal in the ten year old body, returns to stir up some shit. Duncan experiences a "dark quickening" and becomes evil. Joe gets put on trial by the watchers for letting the immortals know about him and befriending Duncan. This was a great cliffhanger for the next season, on Netflix they give the first episode of Season 5 (One Minute To Midnight) as the last episode for Season 4.

 This seasons guest appearances again weren't that high-profile. A lot of people that made there careers in television. It did however pick up in storyline. There were a few episodes that took the spotlight off of Duncan and onto some of the supporting cast. When you're in the middle of a six-season marathon, that's a good thing.

Verdict: * * * *

- Xtoph

Highlander Season 3 (1994)

Directors: Various

Writers: Various

Starring: Adrian Paul, Lisa Howard, Stan Kirsch, Jim Byrnes & Philip Akin

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103442/episodes#season-3

 The Highlander marathon continues with Season 3. This season Duncan (Adrian Paul) finds a new love interest in Anne Lindsey (Lisa Howard) an ER Doctor. So she's around most of the season. Things start off light with one of Richie's old girlfriends show up claiming he's the father of her baby, and he's dumb enough to fall for it even though immortals can't have children. Also, episodes where Duncan has to babysit newly immortal 18 year olds or comes across an 800 year old in a ten year old body. Things get darker mid-season when Duncan starts having hallucinations and fighting demons that aren't there in "Shadows". By episode 14 we are introduced to Kalas (David Robb), a real bad dude that Duncan has a long-going feud with. Methos (Peter Wingfield), the oldest immortal, also shows up this round. Turns out he's been posing as a watcher. For the season finale, another two-parter, one of the watchers decides to copy all of the watcher files and take them to a news agency to expose all the immortals.

 This season was pretty good, as they all are, no complaints here. Not as many high-profile guest stars. Chandra West from Puppetmaster 3 & 4 was in an episode and so was Brion James form Blade Runner. A lot of good music was featured though. Jim Byrnes who plays Joe Dawson is a blues musician so we got some of his music. His character started a club called "Joe's Place" so more blues was featured in a few episodes.

Verdict: * * * *

- Xtoph

DC Showcase: Superman/Shazam!: The Return of Black Adam (2010)

Director: Joaquim Dos Santos

Writer: [Superman/Shazam!] Michael Jelenic, [The Spectre] Steve Niles, [Green Arrow] Greg Weisman and [Jonah Hex] Joe R. Lansdale

Starring: [Superman/Shazam!] Zach Callison, James Garner and Josh Keaton [The Spectre] Gary Cole, Alyssa Milano and Jeff Bennett [Green Arrow] Neal McDonough, Malcolm McDowell and Steve Blum [Jonah Hex] Thomas Jane, Linda Hamilton and Jason Marsden

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1701223/


 The feature on this is the Superman/Shazam! cartoon with running time under a half hour. Each of the bonus shows are just over ten minutes each. Pretty lame, they need to be given full treatments.

 "The Return of Black Adam" teams up Superman and Captain Marvel against Black Adam. What's cool is Captain Marvel and Black Adam are basically like Superman as far as strength and general powers, except that they are fueled by magic... which happens to be one of Supe's weaknesses just under Kryptonite. This is actually the origin story for Captain Marvel. He's just a ten year old kid who is pure of heart, so the wizard Shazam bestows the power of the Gods upon him. All he has to do is call the wizard's name and a lightning bolt strikes him and turns him into a bad-ass.

 "The Spectre" is definitly the coolest of the bunch. Written by Steve Niles (30 Days of Night) and has a kind of film noir feel to it. A lot darker than the feature. Definitely my pick of the bunch.

 "Green Arrow" was a let-down. The story felt rushed, just jumping right into an adventure. Seemed more of a showcase for his toys than an actual story. The voice actor was a total mismatch for Ollie. Malcolm McDowell was cool for the villain though. Brief appearance by the Black Canary, but still couldn't save this short.

 Finally we have "Jonah Hex". This one is of a darker nature as well. Joe Lansdale happens to be another of my favorite writers. Just a short episode of a Jonah Hex story. He's a lesser known character, but I guess since the live-action movie had just come out they didn't feel the need to go into origins.

 All in all this collection wasn't too shabby. I think another Superman or Captain Marvel short would have been fitting, but I'll probably go out and buy it just for Jonah Hex and The Spectre. Especially since Niles was involved. The direction was great. Animation was definitely top-notch.

Verdict: * * *

- Xtoph

a/k/a Tommy Chong (2006)

Director: Josh Gilbert

Writer: Josh Gilbert

Starring: Tommy Chong, Shelby Chong, Paris Chong, Cheech Marin, Lou Adler & Raven Blast

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0478090/

 As ridiculous as it sounds, back in 2003, Tommy Chong of the comedy duo Cheech & Chong was arrested and sentenced to nine months in federal prison for selling bongs on the internet. This documentary tells the story as well as about Tommy's life. With interviews with Tommy, his family, celebrities, politicians and more as well as news and television clips, clips from his films and his stand-up comedy.

 This is a pretty good little film. Entertaining, hell... when is Tommy Chong not entertaining? It also shows how "half-baked" our government can be. Fan of Tommy or not this is worth checking out.

 Stick around after the credits for a great bit where Cheech and Tommy both talk about the creation of one of their most famous bits, "Dave's Not Here".

Verdict: * * *

- Xtoph

Highlander Season 2 (1993)

Directors: Various

Writers: Various

Starring: Adrian Paul, Alexandra Vandernoot, Stan Kirsch, Jim Byrnes & Philip Akin

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103442/episodes#season-2

 Season 2 brings us another 22 episodes beginning with "The Watchers", where we are introduced to Joe Dawson (Jim Byrnes) the watcher Duncan (Adrian Paul) becomes friends with and is a mainstay in the series. Later in the series Duncan has to take on a mortal serial killer that likes to kill immortals. Tessa (Alexandra Vandersnoot) & Richie (Stan Kirsch) get shot by a mugger. Duncan moves to a dojo after Tessa's death. Richie takes his first head and Duncan gives him the boot without so much as a handshake. Xavier St. Cloud (Roland Gift) returns and really fucks shit up for Duncan while teaming up with the renegade watcher, Horton (Peter Hudson). Towards the end of the season Richie returns to ask Duncan for help because another immortal is killing humans and framing him for the murders. Then for the two part season finale Horton comes back yet again, this time giving a convicted murderer plastic surgery to look like Tessa in his attempt to kill Duncan.

 This was a pretty wicked season. Had a few cool guest stars as well. Geraint Wyn Davies (of Forever Knight), Traci Lords & Sheena Easton all show up early in the season. Dustin Nguyen (of 21 Jump Street) returns playing a completely different character than he did in Season 1. Wtf? Rowdy Roddy Piper kicks some ass in episode 10, but still should have been used a lot more than they did... And Roland Gift (Fine Young Cannibals) reprises his role as Xavier St. Cloud, one of the greatest villains ever.

Verdict: * * * *

- Xtoph

Highlander Season 1 (1992)

Directors: Various

Writers: Various

Starring: Adrian Paul, Alexandra Vandernoot & Stan Kirsch

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0103442/episodes#season-1

 I haven't really been keeping up the reviews as of lat because I've been on a Highlander kick. Just finished season 1 yesterday and didn't plan on talking about it until I realized there are people that have no clue what "Highlander" is. I was talking to one of my friends and she has never even heard of it. Such a disappointment... Anyway, I figured what with prospect of a new movie in talk. Maybe I should go ahead and give a little run-down on it.

 Highlander the series, a spin-off from the feature film franchise, follows the immortal Duncan MacLeod (Adrian Paul) of the Clan MacLeod. (Not to be confused with Conner of the movies, as they say in the show "Same clan, different vintage".

 For those who don't know. The Highlander, in this case Duncan (In the movies Conner, the animated series Quentin and the anime Colin) is a legendary immortal from the Highlands of Scotland. Hence... Highlander. Being a highlander has nothing to do with being immortal. The immortals are a race that no one knows the true origins of. The basics are this: They don't die unless you cut off their heads. They live by the rule "There Can Be Only One". They all fight for the prize. To be the last immortal. When they cut off another's head they gain all of their knowledge and power (the quickening). They won't fight each other on holy ground. That is the basic rundown.

 So the series follows Duncan in modern times (the 90's) and has flashbacks to all kinds of different eras. The other two main characters are his girlfriend Tessa (Alexandra Vandernoot) and a kid he takes in, Richie Ryan (Stan Kirsch). There are all kinds of stuff going on it this series. The opening episode, "The Gathering" features both Duncan and Conner (Christopher Lambert). He takes on people that are not immortals as well... Episode 6 they are held hostage in a courtroom by a convicted killer (Andrew Divoff). Or in episode 8 where a mad scientist (Joe Pantoliano) kidnapping people from the emergency room to experiment on them.

 If you're a music fan like me, some of the guest stars include Joan Jett, Vanity, Roland Gift (Fine Young Cannibals) and Roger Daltry (The Who). Or if your a genre fan people like Andrew Divoff (The Wishmaster) and Marc Singer (Beastmaster). This season we are also introduced for the first time to Amanda (Elizabeth Gracen) who became a mainstay in the series and star of the spin-off Highlander: The Raven, and in the 22nd episode the secret society of watchers. A Great place to leave us hanging for season 2.

 So, obviously I'm a nerd for this series, but I think it stands the test of time. I love re-watching this show. It ran for six seasons, so I'll be dropping off a few more season run-downs. You can watch it on Netflix. I'm sure it's on syndication in televison somewhere as well...

Verdict: * * * *

- Xtoph

New issue of Darkfaery Subculture Magazine out now!!!

 The new issue of Darkfaery Subculture Magazine is out now with some reviews I wrote on the new releases of Social Distortion, Wanda Jackson and The Peculiar Pretzelmen.

- Xtoph

View the magazine online here:
http://issuu.com/darkfaerysubculture/docs/dfsm-february-2011?viewMode=magazine


Buy it here: http://www.magcloud.com/browse/Issue/158083

Buried (2010)

Director: Rodrigo Cortés

Writer: Chris Sparling

Starring: Ryan Reynolds, José Luis García Pérez and Robert Paterson

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1462758/

 Paul Conroy (Ryan Reynolds) is an American civilian truck driver in Iraq delivering supplies. His convoy gets attacked and he wakes up in a coffin buried alive. This is the premise of the film.

 This movie was pretty amazing. I wanted to see this when it came out, but I have not been able to until now. It never came to the theater in Oklahoma. Say what you want, but I've been a fan of Ryan Reynolds a long time. In spite of Van Wilder, that boy can act. I love the whole idea of this film, the low budget and not having any locations. When I told my buddies about 'Buried', their reply was, "Oh, so it's like 'Phone Booth'". After watching it... no... it's nothing like Phone Booth. 'Buried' is much more claustrophobic and terrifying.

 This film, 90 minutes in length, never leaves this coffin. Paul is trapped with nothing but a cell phone and a lighter. Trying to contact his the U.S. Government, the company he works for, his wife. Anything to help him get out. This film starts off slow but the intensity levels rise to extremes and leave you at the edge of you're seat waiting to find out what's going to happen. This seemed real. Ryan Reynolds portrayed it how I would imagine it if I were in the box.

 The only problems I really have are these: 1. They used Ryan Reynolds. I mean, he's good. Damn good in this film, but it's still a recognizable face, which makes it a little difficult to totally lose myself in the film. 2. The rental DVD has absolutely no features whatsoever. Not even a little 5 minute featurette or a commentary track. Nothing. Pretty fucking lame.

Verdict: * * * *

- Xtoph

A taste of what's to come...

I'm working up my reviews for the latest issue of Darkfaery Subculture Magazine and I thought I give a taste of what's coming for it... Hope you enjoy...

- Xtoph

Social Distortion - Hard Times And Nursery Rhymes by Epitaph Records

Please add "Nightmare Alley" to your Netflix queue

A Re-post from our friends at Nightmare Alley:

We need over 1000 people to add "Nightmare Alley" to their Netflix queue before Netflix will pick up the movie! Please add us, rate the movie so we know how many have added it, and invite your friends! Your help is hugely appreciated!

Even if you own or have seen the movie, please add us to your queue as well! You can remove it once they actually pick up the movie and it would be an enormous help in getting "Nightmare Alley" out... there!
CLICK AND SAVE:
http://www.netflix.com/Movie/Nightmare-Alley/70144844?trkid=226872

The Dungeonmaster (1984)

a.k.a. Ragewar

Directed by: Dave Allen, Charles Band, John Carl Buechler, Steven Ford, Peter Manoogian, Ted Nicolaou and Roasemarie Turko

Written by: Charles Band, Allen Actor, Rosemarie Turko, John Carl Buechler, Dave Allen, Jeffrey Byron, Peter Manoogian and Ted Nicolaou

Starring: Jeffrey Byron, Richard Moll and Leslie Wing

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089060/


 Paul Bradford (Jeffrey Byron) is your every day run-of-the-mill computer nerd with a super computer that speaks to him. (Only in the 80's, right?) He's in love with his girlfriend (Leslie Wing) and wants to get married. Mestema (Richard Moll) is a very bored centuries old wizard looking for a good fight. He kidnaps Paul's girlfriend and challenges him to a battle of magic. Paul must complete 7 tasks to win back his woman.

 You gotta love the low-budget 80's flicks. Seven battles, means seven writers and directors each doing their own part to the anthology. What we have is something reminiscent of Sinbad's seventh voyage and Beastmaster in the modern world, pitting science vs. the occult. Only, Paul's just not as bad-ass as Sinbad or as likable as Dar. The directing ain't that great, and you can tell it's been pieced together. What I do love is Richard Moll. He is always the perfect cartoon villain. When I was a kid I couldn't look at him and not see Bull from Night Court, but he really pulls these roles off well. If you go in not expecting much but wanting to have a good time and a laugh then check this out. And if everything I mentioned wasn't enough...  Charles Band's segment "Heavy Metal" puts Paul up against none other than Blackie Lawless and W.A.S.P.!!!

Verdict: * * *

- Xtoph

Coming Soon - H-P Presents: They Came From The Grave

 Coming soon from Horror-Punks.com: They Came from the Grave Vol.1 Featuring videos and trailers from the members of Horror-Punks.com with videos from: Mongrel-Others-Dragnun-Under a Nightmare-The Murdersquad t.o.-Dead United-Chef Brandon Perry-Spawn Atomic-Dr. Spookenstein-ZOMBIE!-The Spectremen-Ghost of Penely Chase-Werevilsdare-The Cloister Fuck-Fear Incorporated-Christophe-Pussing Eye Productions-Derek Young (Family Property)-The Quintessentials-Creep Creepersin (Creepersin, Creepersin Films)-The Monistats-Nightmare Alley-Six Gun Salvation-Lurking Corpses-Lugosi's Morphine-Batsupsidedown-Von Bones. Background Music "Bride of Frankenrock" by Batsupsidedown

Game Review: Zombies!!! The Director's Cut

Twilight Creations
http://www.twilightcreationsinc.com/
Tile Based Strategy Board Game
2-6 Players

Zombies!!! is a fun fast past (once you get the rules down, it's only four pages) tile based boardgame. You basically have to get to the helipad and escape the zombie apocalypse, or if you can't put the helipad in play get 25 zombie kills. Sounds simple right. Wrong. The other players are constantly screwing you over by attacking you with zombies or surrounding you with zombies. If that wasn't bad enough they also take away your bullets, you get three to start, and take away zombie kills. Not to mention the taking away of weapons and items in play. On the bright side there are lots of bullets and hearts in buildings and such. Play goes as follows: draw an event card if you have less than three, three is a reoccurring theme in this game, and draw and lay down a tile. Move. Fighting zombies along the way. Then zombie movement, kill the other players. Discard event cards if you want. Next players turn. Now you use bullets to modify attack rolls, you must get a 4 or better. Your hearts represent damage, when you can't modify a roll or don't want to you take away hearts. So go on out and get this game. You'll have lots of fun. Just watch out for the zombies!!! By the way, if you get bored you can get expansions for the game that add new types of zombies (including zombie dogs), more tiles, and add on or alternate scenarios.

Verdict: * * * * *

John (B)D

You're Gonna Miss Me (2005) DVD

Director: Keven McAlester

Starring: Byron Coley, 13th Floor Elevators and Evelyn Erickson

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0791268/

 You're Gonna Miss Me is about one of the unsung heroes of Rock'n'Roll, Roky Erickson. The most amazing voice of our time. This man was a founding member of the first psychedelic rock band, The 13th Floor Elevators, and did a lot of early punk and horror-rock influencing... everyone. This film is about him and his struggles. Drug abuse, schizophrenia and poor health. It shows how he has risen above all this to keep bringing us this amazing music to this day.

 This is on the Netflix "Watch Instantly", but I suggest buying or renting the DVD so you can check out all of the awesome bonus features. There is a ton of live footage there too!

Verdict: * * * * *

- Xtoph

Wicked Little Things (2006) DVD

Director: J.S. Cardone

Starring: Lori Heuring, Scout Taylor-Compton and Chloe Moretz

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0470000/

 Wicked Little Things is about a recently widowed woman and her two daughters. She was left kind of broke with only an old home inherited from her husbands family. The home is on land next to an old mine where a bunch of children died. Needless to say the ghosts of the dead children are not happy with the hand they've been delt. Not the most original of the bunch, but still well written and filmed. I enjoyed this one.

 This was originally in the After Dark line... One of the cool things about it is that it gives us an early look at two awesome talents in the genre Scout Taylor-Compton (Rob Zombie's Halloweens) and Chloe Moretz (Let Me In & Kick-Ass). Currently it's in the Netflix "Watch Instantly" so stop by and check it out!

Verdict: * * *

- Xtoph

Wolverine Classic Vol. 1 - TPB - Angled Doors Review

 This collects the first five issues of Wolverine's own series. Written by Chris Claremont and illustrated by John Buscema, whose artwork fits the gritty style that should grace any Wolverine tale. This takes place in Japan, everyone thinks Wolverine is dead and he's going by the name "Patch". Jessica Drew (Spider-woman) comes to town with the Black Blade, a evil sword that has the power to possess. Silver Samurai shows up to take the sword and Logan is there when it all goes down, ends p getting the sword and getting possessed by it.

- Xtoph

White Lightning - DVD - Angled Doors Review

 Any movie with Burt Reynolds running booze is good. This one caught me off guard. This is real, not no comedy. Starts off with Burt in prison. His brother gets murdered by some small town sheriff (Ned Beatty). He decides he needs to get revenge. He cuts a deal with the state to bring in moonshiners so he can get out early. This has all the fast cars and fast women you'd expect, but this one's got a darker tone. This is a must have film in my collection.

- Xtoph

Wednesday 13 "Bloodwork" - CD - Angled Doors Review

Wednesday 13 returned this year with his long awaited new album "Skeletons". AT the same time he also released an EP of some extra material that he felt didn't quite fit in with the rest of the album. We're treated to 6 songs. The first two are what you wold expect form the horror maestro. "B-Movie Babylon" & "Return of the Living Dead". Then we get a cover of Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers "Running Down a Dream" and a new rendition of "I Love To Say Fuck". The real gems on this EP are the last two tracks... acoustic renderings of "My Demise" & "Skeletons" re-named "My Demise B.C." & "Skeletons A.D.". These two tracks are worth the purchase price alone.

- Xtoph

The Watchmen - TPB - Angled Doors Review

 The Watchmen is one of the greatest comics ever written. I've owned this well over a decade and I still re-read it about every year. Now with a new movie about to be released I have to pull it out again. Beautifully drawn and well written. I've picked up something new every time I've read it. I highly recommend getting this and reading it before the film. I pray they don't ruin it like they did Alan Moore's last comic turned to film, V For Vendetta. But just in case buy the book and read it first. Basic plot on this is it's a real world with super-heroes and costumed crime fighters. The American people don't like this. Not knowing who they are. They watch us, but who watches them? The government starts a new act to unmask all of them. (similar to the mutant registration act from X-Men) This is just a fraction of the whole story. It all delves much deeper than this. Do yourself a favor and check out this book.

- Xtoph

Unrest - DVD - Angled Doors Reviews

 One of After Dark Horror Fest's 8 films to die for, Unrest, is a pretty suspenseful little horror/thriller. Very well written and directed it follows a young med student as she starts her gross anatomy class. She gets some weird vibes from her cadaver and wants to know more about her... then people that have come in contact with the cadaver start dropping off. Pretty cool movie and not what you've come to expect from most horror films. Worth checking out.

- Xtoph

Turok - X-Box 360 Game - Angled Doors Reviews

 I've been a big fan of Turok Dinosaur Hunter for a long time now. I grew up on the comics. I've played a few of the video game versions of this franchise but never really liked them. That has changed. This version has a good story, great voice actors, good graphics. Enjoyable game-play. It's easy to control your character and the game isn't too simple or too hard to get through. Lots of cool weapons to choose from. You can load up with the big firepower or you can sneak up and cut someone's throat. Lots of dinosaurs. If your not careful they will get you, but you can also lure them in to attack your enemies. The coolest part of the game is the on-line function. Lots of maps and several game styles to choose from. You can play with up to 16 people at once. It's like Halo with dinosaurs thrown in the mix. Also, you can purchase more maps through X-Box live for only 400 Microsoft points.

- Xtoph

Transylvania Twist - DVD - Angled Doors Reviews

 An 80's classic. If you liked films like Transylvania 6-500 or My Best Friend Is A Vampire then you'll dig this movie. Tongue in cheek from the start with lots of nods to classic horror and pop culture in general. Horror fanatics will enjoy Angus Scrimm's small role. Plus this dvd has scenes that were cut from the original video release.

- Xtoph

The Hamiltons - DVD - Angled Doors Reviews

 One of After Dark Horror Fest's 8 films to die for. Ok. There is so much I want to say about The Hamiltons, but there is so much I can't say because I DON'T want to give it away. So I'll just leave you with this. It's about a bunch of kids whose parents died, the oldest takes charge of the clan and tries to keep them together the best he can. That's all I'm going to tell you. This is the best horror film I have seen in a very long time. So far it is my favorite from the "After Dark" series. You need to see this film!

- Xtoph

The Club - X-Box 360 Game - Angled Doors Review

 Not much of a plot or any story on this one, but that doesn't matter. It's a lot of fun gameplay. Basically you are a member of the club. A bunch of rich pricks with guns that want to hunt something that can hunt back. You get to choose form a handful of characters, all of which have different stats and play a little differently. You go through a bunch of levels and have different types of gameplay. All a lot of fun, but the real fun is, as always, the online play. Up to 15 real time opponents. Plus if you don't have online access you can play with up to four of your buddies in a split screen mode. Worth checking out.

- Xtoph

Spider-Man Fearful Symmetry: Kraven's Last Hunt - TPB - Angled Doors Review

I remember getting this in the single issues when it first came out. This is what re-newed my interest in Spider-man. No longer a kiddie story. This has great personal narrative told through the 3 main characters of the storyline, Spider-man, Kraven & Vermin. This is a much darker story than you are used to for Spidey, comparative to maybe The Dark Knight Returns. Kraven hunts down Spidey, poisons him and buries him alive. The two weeks he is in the grave, Kraven takes on his identity. Meanwhile, Vermin has come up from the sewers to feast on human prey. This is a must have in anyone's collection. It's been almost 20 years now since I read it and I still find it as gripping today as I did when I was a kid.

- Xtoph

Semi-Pro: Unrated - DVD - Angled Doors Review

 Another Will Ferrell vehicle. Wasn't the best, but like any Will Ferrell movie it's still a lot of fun. In this one he is some disco one hit wonder that bought a basketball team with his royalties. He's the teams owner/coach/team-member. The team is making no money at all, they are fixing to have to shut down. The NBA is going to pick up a couple of the minor league teams, but Jackie (Will Ferrell) has to get people into the stadium and prove his team is worth picking up. So he does a bunch of silly antics to pull in a crowd. That pretty much sums up the movie. Doesn't sound worth watching, but Will Ferrell always makes movies like that. Remember Elf? Freaking hilarious. So yeah. Worth getting.

- Xtoph

Scene It? - X-Box 360 Game - Angled Doors Review

 Our family was always a fan of the board game scene it. We are movie addicts. I picked up Scene it for the X-box 360 to give it a try. Hit it off even more than the board game. It's great. It comes with 4 big button controllers that are laid out so easy that even my mother can play with us. Plus, I can play single player when no one else is around. One of the great things is if you have a gamer profile set up on your X-box for everyone. Nobody will get the same question twice... even when they pick up to play a few weeks later. The X-box will remember what all questions everyone has received.  This game is a hit!

- Xtoph

The Sasquatch Gang - DVD - Angled Doors Review

 Also known as The Sasquatch Dumpling Gang. This flick was made by the same people that made Napoleon Dynamite. You can tell... all the characters act just like the people in Napoleon. It's nuts. The guy from Jeepers Creepers is gonna lose his car, so he fakes Bigfoot footprints... and a Bigfoot turd, so he can sell things on the net to make some money. That's the basic plot, but not really at all what this movie is about. If you liked Napoleon you'll dig this one too. Josh Heder has a cameo too.

- Xtoph

The Punisher: Up Is Down And Black Is White - TPB - Angled Doors Review

 This collects issues 19-24 of The Punisher form the Marvel MAX line. This is what I love about Marvel MAX. It's not for some characters... but for some, like the Punisher, there is no other way. None of this watered down pussy shit. No Thomas Jane wanna-bes. This is the real deal. Blood, boobs and gore. In this series, expertly written by Garth Ennis, mob boss wanna-be Nicolas Cavella digs up Frank Castle's (The Punisher) families graves and pisses all over the corpses. He video's the whole thing and sends it to the media. Of course Frank totally goes over the edge then and starts killing every criminal in town.

- Xtoph

The Pulse: Secret War - TPB - Angled Doors Review

 Issues 6-9 of The Pulse. Jessica Jones and Luke Cage head home and it's blown up by a mysterious mutant. Cage is so bad he's in a coma and the hospital can't do anything because of his unbreakable skin. Nick Fury shows up, things get weird, they disappear with Cage and Jessica can't find him. Then we find out Fury did something real jacked up and is under fire. That's a taste of what's going on in these issues. A lot of action and intrigue. Check it out.

- Xtoph

Pulse: Thin Air - TPB - Angled Doors Review

The Pulse picks up where the series "Alias" ended. This collects the first 5 issues. Jessica Jones just found out she's pregnant with Luke Cage's baby. J. Jonah Jameson has just started a new section of the paper called "The Pulse", which is sort of a pro-hero tabloid. One of the Daily Bugles reporters gets murdered by Osborn, (The Green Goblin) and it ends with Osborn getting outed to the public as to who he really is. This is a pretty good story a a decent follow-up to "Alias". The only downfall was going from the no comics code MAX line to the censored regular line. Brian Michael Bendis wrote it though, and he always seems to turn in some great scripts. I recommend picking up "Alias" (Available in 4 volumes) first and then going into the Pulse. Works better continuity-wise and you'll be filled in on a lot of things.

- Xtoph

Plastic Man: Rubber Bandits Vol. 2 - TPB - Angled Doors Review

 Kyle Baker brings us this series of crazy antics that would only come from Plastic Man. Dude is wacked. Basically, The Time Trapper is messing around with time and some lady busts in on Plas' and his girlfriend claiming to be his wife and has a shapeshifting kid. The DC continuity is getting all messed up and some how President Lincoln ends up in the picture. He ends up being Booth disguised as Lincoln. They take Booth back in time to kill Lincoln to save the future that hasn't happened. Booth dies. Plas' and Woozy decide they have to kill Lincoln themselves. More craziness. It's just non-stop. Later on, a vampire story. This book is out there, but a lot of fun.

- Xtoph

Pigeons From Hell - TPB - Angled Doors Review

 To start out... this is not a straight up adaptation of the Robert E. Howard story, but don't let that turn you away. This mini-series is a continuation of sorts of the source material. Taking place in modern times we begin meeting the descendants of the plantation owners. Just received the house and land in an inheritance. A good way to start. The story telling was great. Intelligent writing and superb artwork that fit well with the dark content. If your a Robert E. Howard fan or just love a good scare tale then pick this up. The collected edition will be out in January 2009.

- Xtoph

Penny Dreadful - DVD - Angled Doors Review

 One of After Dark Horror Fest's 8 films to die for. Penny Dreadful is about a girl who survived a bad car wreck. It leaves her real jacked up and she won't even get in a car, let alone drive. Her doctor (Mimi Rogers) decides to take her on a road trip to overcome her fears. Big mistake. Shit gets all fucked up. She's trapped inside this car and... well... just watch the movie. Along the way we also get to see small roles by Mickey Jones (A biker in 100 movies and member of The First Edition) and Michael Berryman (The Hills Have Eyes).

- Xtoph

P2 - DVD - Angled Doors Review

 This chick is working late on Christmas Eve. She gets locked in the parking garage by the creepy bag guy from American Beauty. He's been obsessing for her for a long time and instead of asking her for a date decides to kidnap and terrorize her. It's not really for the horror fanatic, but for the average movie goer it's a good thriller. A couple good shots in it though. My mom watched this one based on my review and called me up and said "Never Again!!! It was so gory!!! I don't know how I made it to the end!". But, it's not really that gory at all. Just one scene. one.

- Xtoph

Osaka Popstar And The American Legends Of Punk - CD - Angled Doors Review

 Osaka Popstar & The American Legends of Punk are kinds of a pop-punk supergroup. This band sounds nothing like any of their original bands, but is comprised of Punk Legends. Fronted by John Cafiero (Vox on Misfits "NY Ranger" and "Project 1950". Director of Insane Clown Posse's Big Money Hustlas) with Dez Cadena (Black Flag), Ivan Julian (Richard Hell & The Voidoids), Marky Ramone (The Ramones) & Jerry Only (The Misfits). This project is a lot poppier than any of their previous bands, but its still really good. There are a lot of covers on this album, but they are really fun. If your an anime fan you'll love the covers of the theme songs for "Astro Boy" and my favorite off the album "Sailor Moon". They throw in a couple Voidoid songs and also a punked up cover of "Man of Constant Sorrow", an early American folk standard dating back to 1913, but most recently known for the bluegrass version from the film "Oh Brother, Where Art Though?". This album ain't deep, but it is a lot of fun and you'll find it in your player a lot more than you'd expect.

 - Xtoph

Ninja Gaiden 2 - X-Box 360 Game - Angled Doors Review

 I'll admit, at first I was disappointed with this game. I was hoping for some on-line interaction with my friends. I can compare my scores with them on the leaderboards... but I know I'll always be last. However compared to the last Ninja Gaiden game I played for the regular X-box this has stepped up in leaps. Graphics are amazing. The gameplay has improved greatly. I can control my character so much easier. Lots of weapons for me to choose from. I can customize my character form battle to battle. Choosing what weapons to use and I have the ability to buy upgrades at various points through-out the game. I love this game because, while the game play is difficult, it's not too difficult. I remember on the last one I was never able to defeat the first boss. Lame. It
does have some cool X-Box live features too. Customize your Ninja with different costume packs for only 200 microsoft points each and all new mission modes for 800 microsoft points. This game was definitely worth my purchase.

 - Xtoph

Munchies - DVD - Angled Doors Review

 Munchies is another classic 80's horror/comedy no one should miss. This is the b-movie Gremlins wanna-be. Charlie Stratton (Summer Camp Nightmare), who looks a lot like Fright Night's William Ragsdale, and his father find a creature they think is an alien. They take it home and it gets kidnapped by the films villain (Harvey Korman, Caroll Burnett show and 5 million other things). The thing multiplies (Gremlins?) and Charlie and his girlfriend (Nadine Ven der Velde from Critters) chase them around the rest of the movie with hilarious b-movie antics abound. They even go so far as to have a scene where someone is looking at a National Enquirer type rag with "Gremlin?" as the headline followed by the Munchies speeding down the street in their stolen car... which happens to be a Gremlin.

- Xtoph

Marvel Zombies - TPB - Angled Doors Review

 Taking place in an alternate universe, a zombie plague has hit the planet earth infecting everyone, even our mightiest heroes. After being turned into zombies our heroes ravaged the earth eating everyone. This takes place when our zombie heroes are searching the earth any remaining life... to eat. The hunt down Magneto, then devour the Silver Surfer and in the process gain some of his powers... then take on the mighty Galactus. This series is very tongue in cheek. Some great artwork and a humorous storyline. As a bonus all the covers are included in here, which are zombie versions of some of Marvel's classic covers like Amazing Fantasy #15 & Fantastic Four #1, just to name a couple.

- Xtoph

Marvel Ultimate Alliance - X-Box 360 Game - Angled Doors Review

 Marvel Ultimate Alliance is probably the coolest all ages game I have played on the 360. It's not too dark and gritty for my nephews like a lot of my super-hero stuff is, but it's also not too "kiddie" for me to enjoy, like some of the super-hero games I've played have been. The gameplay and graphics in this are reminiscent of the arcades I played growing up. I'm totally digging it. You can choose your own team from a bunch of different Marvel characters. Unlock new characters as you play or purchase some from the Live Marketplace. Each character has four different costumes. Like the Hulk for example, you can play The Hulk with the purple pants, Hulk from issue 1, Planet Hulk, or my personal favorite... Joe Fixit. That's when Hulk was grey, wore a suit and tie and worked in Vegas. Each character has several versions, which in turn can make them other characters. (ie: Iron Man, War Machine) This also has online gameplay, which I have not got to check out yet, but apparently you can go through the entire mission with your buddies. There are several versions of this game. The Regular Edition, the Forza 2 dual pack (This one is the regular edition and Forza 2, a race car game) and then the Gold Edition which has some of the bonus characters you can purchase on live for the regular edition already programmed in.

- Xtoph

Civil War: Front Line Vol. 2 - TPB - Angled Doors Review

 Collecting Civil War: Front Line #7-11. Just like with the other Civil War books, this has a lot going on. Speedball is brought out from prison and gets shot in the gut. After losing his powers he has no way to deflect it. There is a traitor on the pro-registration side. Norman Osborn, the Green Goblin, is released form jail and takes on some Atlanteans, nearly causing a war. Some searching by Ben and Peter Parker finds out that Iron Man knew about things before they were happening and was playing with the stock market in anticipation of events. Speedball finally decides to sign the registration, and in development of his new powers burns his old costume and becomes Penance. Yeah... and more... check it out.

- Xtoph

Civil War - TPB - Angled Doors Review

 Collecting Civil War #1-7. This is THE Marvel Comics event! It starts off with Speedball and the New Warriors busting a house of super villains for their reality tv show. In the process a school gets blown up killing a ton of little kids. The American public turns on ALL super powered individuals. Johnny Storm gets beaten to near death outside a club. The government decides to put "heroes" in check. Their start a "Super Hero Registration Act" requiring all super powered people to register or be viewed as a criminal. Who do they get to head this up? Iron Man. He gets Spider-man on his side and Spidey reveals his identity in a press conference. Captain America goes rogue and heads up an underground resistance with the help of Nick Fury. Geez... so much is going on in this book I can't even list it all. This is a MUST READ for any Marvel Universe fan!

- Xtoph

Lost Boys 2: The Tribe - DVD - Angled Doors Review

 If your looking for a direct sequel to the original Lost Boys, this isn't it. It picks up many years later in a new town with some annoying surfer vamps. Cool cameo in the beginning with Tom Savini though. About half an hour into the movie we finally get introduced to Edgar Frog (Corey Feldman) , the only returning character. What happened to his brother? It only hints at first. (In the bonus features we find out he's a vamp) It's basically the same old story. Kids move to new town, hang out with vamps and get turned. Try to fight it and kill the head vampire so they can be normal again. Edgar comes in shows them some comics and saves the day. The real story that we wanted to see starts at the end. Sam (Corey Haim) returns and he's a vamp. Him and Edgar battle it out... but we only get to see the very beginning of the fight, then it's more credits. Can't wait for part three!

- Xtoph

Edd Byrnes "Kookie: Star of '77 Sunset Strip" - CD - Angled Doors Review

 Originally released in 1959 as a novelty record to coincide with Edd Byrnes popularity on the show "77 Sunset Strip" ('58-'63). This is a rockin' album. It's no wonder this was re-released on cd in 2001. Most of our generation won't know who Edd Byrnes is, which is sad. Go ask your parents, or grandparents. My generation might remember back in the day on the show "Married With Children" Edd appeared on an episode with metal band Anthrax doing a cover of the hit single from this album "Kookie, Kookie (Lend Me Your Comb)". Anyway, this album is a good time. It shouldn't fall through the cracks to be forgotten.

- Xtoph

Kenny & Co. - DVD - Angled Doors Review

 Classic film about childhood. It's a good fun family film by director Don Coscarelli. (Phantasm) This is a fun movie dealing with a lot of things. If you grew up in the 70's or 80's this will have you heading on a trip of nostalgia. Most of the cast from Phantasm was also in this film. It was the Halloween night segment of the movie that made Coscarelli decide he wanted to do a horror film.

- Xtoph

Jayne Mansfield "Too Hot To Handle" - CD - Angled Doors Review

 Jayne was the hottest thing to come out of Hollywood in the 50's and 60's. A lot of comparisons fell between her and Marilyn, but Jayne was always the one for me. This cd has her singing (also a lot like Monroe) a few hits from some of her films like "Too Hot To Handle" (Album's title track) and "Heimweh Nach St Pauli". German has never sounded so sexy. This compilation also includes an interview and a segment from the Jack Benny Show. 12 tracks in all. Definitely worth checking out.

- Xtoph