Starring: Rain, Ben Miles, Naomie Harris, Sho Kusugi & Sung Kang
Directed by James McTeigue
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1186367/
James McTeigue was said to be a washout. I had read a recent poll where his last film Invasion was listed as the 7th ranked Flop of all time. I hope with the release of Ninja Assassin Mr. McTeigue can drop his pants and tell the Nay Sayers to suck it easy.
Ninja Assassin is a solid 5 star action movie. Everything about it is a solid hit. From the lighting and visuals to the amazing fighting scenes.....wow.... I had thought going in Ninja Assassin would be nothing more than a Violent version of Street Fighter. I was wrong.
The whole movie was an Orgasm for the eyes and ears. I caught myself cheering and fist pumping to the limitless amount of raw carnage. If you like crisp sounds to go with your kills, then prepare to for Bliss. If you also love Gallons and Gallons of fake blood then you are in for a treat.
The story is as simple as could be, but with a new feel on an old subject. Raizo (Rain) is taken off of the streets as an orphan, and Trained to become a Deadly Assassin for the Ozunu Clan. After his horrific training becomes complete, Raizo must commit one more test before he totally accepted. Raizo Refuses and is met with a hailstorm of violence and left for dead.
Bad Mistake. Raizo takes out countless Ninja Assassins trying to get to Ozunu ( Kusugi )and seek revenge for the hell Ozunu caused him. All the while trying to stay under the radar from the German/Euro Police. What sounds like a played out story is more than it lets on.
For starters the violence is epic. With every fight the viewer is treated to bone snapping sound, and relentless gore. There is a TON of blood spilled. It seems that the crew must've spent 3.5 Milion on fake blood. Some is CG, but most of it is old school splash effect.
The second thing that grabs you is the sound. Hearing Throwing stars whizz all around the Theater Sound System was, to say the least, Fucking Amazing!!!! With every fight came at least moments when the crowd would cheer, or cringe and then cheer. Seeing that makes movies like this just an absolute blast!!!
Folks this movie has it all. If you want to sit back and enjoy a great movie with insane amounts of blood and violence mixed with a good story and sound, then by all means...GO SEE THIS MOVIE!!!
Overall Rating ( * * * * * )
Mr. What?
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
The Road ( 2009 )
Starring: Viggo Mortensen, Guy Pearce, Kodi Smit-McPhee, Robert Duvall, & Charlize Theron
Directed By John Hillcoat
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0898367/
Cormac McCarthy's "The Road," a spare and grim allegory of father-love amid the ruins of human civilization (indeed, the ruins of humanity itself), was never going to make a quote-unquote 'fun' movie. The despairing images of a dying planet Earth, the relentless threat of vicious predators, the pervasive grief for losses endured and those yet to manifest themselves: it may have won a Pulitzer, but it's the type of art that it can be tough to drag folks into the multiplex to see.
And yet as directed by John Hillcoat from a screenplay by playwright Joe Penhall, "The Road" is faithful in tone and texture to McCarthy's painful vision and heartening in its moral fiber as well as in its artistic determination and mastery. Hillcoat, who came to attention with the stark and bloody western "The Proposition," contrives hopefulness from despair and beauty from decay. He spares little of the harshness of McCarthy's words but discovers a way to infuse his film with the undimmed spirit of them as well.
"The Road" takes the form of a southward odyssey through the badlands of the former United States of America. A father and son, both unnamed, are forced to flee the oncoming winter because all the food and fuel and safety and comfort that once characterized their homeland have vanished in the wake of an unspecified catastrophe and the subsequent erosion and collapse of order and civility.
Viggo Mortensen, scruffy, hawk-eyed and resolute, plays The Man, as he is known, with a thoroughly convincing blend of fierceness, love, pity, mournfulness and -- though it is dying -- belief in something better. Alongside him, if only in his reveries of the world before and just after the calamity, Charlize Theron makes you understand why The Man grieves so deeply. And Kodi Smit-McPhee, a slip of a thing, credibly fills their son, known only as The Boy, with guileless innocence and earnest filial devotion.
In the course of their travels, the protagonists encounter dangerous men (including a predatory Garrett Dillahunt) and really dangerous men (such as a house full of sadists and cannibals), and men as lost and nostalgic and helpless in the teeth of fate as they themselves (crabby Robert Duvall, desperate Michael K. Williams from "The Wire").
The landscape through which they wend -- grey and looming and pocketed with tempting perils such as abandoned houses and shops -- is as alive as any of the people they meet. "The Road" was shot in, among other places, Oregon and Washington, including on the slopes of Mt. St. Helens, and never has our lovely green northwest looked so infernal and uninviting.
In fact, Hillcoat has achieved a kind of uncanny tone with the feel and pace of the film -- dreamy and portentous and conveying the weight and horror of a world terribly and permanently altered. Given the relative lack of incident in “The Road,” its tenor and style are as important as its characters and events, and while that can be an invitation to directorial indulgence, Hillcoat restrains his potency in order to create his own worthy version of McCarthy's world.
“The Road” walks a tremendously daring and delicate line between inspiration and horror, and it does so not only in the events it depicts but in its very air and atmosphere. It was unforgettable on the page, and it impresses equally, or at least it does so remarkably often, on screen.
Overall Rating ( * * * * )
Mr. What?
Directed By John Hillcoat
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0898367/
Cormac McCarthy's "The Road," a spare and grim allegory of father-love amid the ruins of human civilization (indeed, the ruins of humanity itself), was never going to make a quote-unquote 'fun' movie. The despairing images of a dying planet Earth, the relentless threat of vicious predators, the pervasive grief for losses endured and those yet to manifest themselves: it may have won a Pulitzer, but it's the type of art that it can be tough to drag folks into the multiplex to see.
And yet as directed by John Hillcoat from a screenplay by playwright Joe Penhall, "The Road" is faithful in tone and texture to McCarthy's painful vision and heartening in its moral fiber as well as in its artistic determination and mastery. Hillcoat, who came to attention with the stark and bloody western "The Proposition," contrives hopefulness from despair and beauty from decay. He spares little of the harshness of McCarthy's words but discovers a way to infuse his film with the undimmed spirit of them as well.
"The Road" takes the form of a southward odyssey through the badlands of the former United States of America. A father and son, both unnamed, are forced to flee the oncoming winter because all the food and fuel and safety and comfort that once characterized their homeland have vanished in the wake of an unspecified catastrophe and the subsequent erosion and collapse of order and civility.
Viggo Mortensen, scruffy, hawk-eyed and resolute, plays The Man, as he is known, with a thoroughly convincing blend of fierceness, love, pity, mournfulness and -- though it is dying -- belief in something better. Alongside him, if only in his reveries of the world before and just after the calamity, Charlize Theron makes you understand why The Man grieves so deeply. And Kodi Smit-McPhee, a slip of a thing, credibly fills their son, known only as The Boy, with guileless innocence and earnest filial devotion.
In the course of their travels, the protagonists encounter dangerous men (including a predatory Garrett Dillahunt) and really dangerous men (such as a house full of sadists and cannibals), and men as lost and nostalgic and helpless in the teeth of fate as they themselves (crabby Robert Duvall, desperate Michael K. Williams from "The Wire").
The landscape through which they wend -- grey and looming and pocketed with tempting perils such as abandoned houses and shops -- is as alive as any of the people they meet. "The Road" was shot in, among other places, Oregon and Washington, including on the slopes of Mt. St. Helens, and never has our lovely green northwest looked so infernal and uninviting.
In fact, Hillcoat has achieved a kind of uncanny tone with the feel and pace of the film -- dreamy and portentous and conveying the weight and horror of a world terribly and permanently altered. Given the relative lack of incident in “The Road,” its tenor and style are as important as its characters and events, and while that can be an invitation to directorial indulgence, Hillcoat restrains his potency in order to create his own worthy version of McCarthy's world.
“The Road” walks a tremendously daring and delicate line between inspiration and horror, and it does so not only in the events it depicts but in its very air and atmosphere. It was unforgettable on the page, and it impresses equally, or at least it does so remarkably often, on screen.
Overall Rating ( * * * * )
Mr. What?
Thursday, November 19, 2009
The Twilight Saga: New Moon ( 2009 )
Starring: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Billy Burke, Anna Kendrick, & Tayor Lautner
Directed By Chris Weitz
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1259571/
First off Let me say that this movie was Horrible. I felt like chopping my dick off, and throwing it into the river after viewing this film. I painfully watched Twilight and couldn't stop rolling my eyes. Vampires who walk amongst the midst & Sparkled, no blood or gore, and massive undead virginity issues made for a solid laugh. That is, until the rest of the nation fell under the Twilight spell.
Everywhere you looked Twilight was there. Grocery Stores, Malls, Clothing Stores, ETC, ETC. At first I just ignored it, but after having 3-4 tweens get into my face about my views I decided to fight back with Harsher words and Semi-Violence. Team Cullen gear was everywhere and being shoved onto the word despite the Massive Outrage from the Horror Movie Community.
Alot of Movies had a newish spin on Vampires, but nothing as lame as Twilight. Maybe it was because of the authors Religious beliefs ( Mormon ), or The fact that Hollywood needed something to fill the void of The Harry Potter Series, I don't know for sure. What I do know is that Twilight was, and still is Hated and Loved World wide.
As I geared up for the review, I knew that I had to be open minded and non-biased against this movie as I am with every movie I review. As far as the story goes for New Moon.......Bella and Edward are "in love" and happy. Alice ( edwards sister ) throws Bella a party for her 18th birthday. All is fine until Bella cuts her finger while trying to cut some cake and sends a Cullen family member into a blood lust and attacks Bella. Fearing the the Worst Edward packs up the clan and moves out of Forks Washington for Bella's safety....
Here is where the movie tanked. Bella spends too much time being EMO and hating life. It felt like watching a love story on morphine. The lighting, acting, and sets took on this cheesy wannabe dark tone, and left the viewer longing for a fight, or some hate sex. Then along comes Jacob. Dark and full of mystery, Bella begins a friendship with him and his secret as a.....you guessed it...a werewolf. Jacob was another letdown. Maybe it's me, but seeing Sharkboy try to be seductive was anything but hot. I did see a gay couple cuddle during Jacobs scenes, and made me think.......Could this guy ever star in a Gay Porn?
The rest of the movie is....well, really bad. If you read the books and hated Twilight the movie, then this will be the same amount of Bullshit. Alot was left out for the movie adaptation. I often found myself asking "is this based off of New Moon the book, or some lose version made into a crappy movie for tweens?" Nothing about this movie was made for anybody over the age of 12. Yes, there is some decent fighting, but too much of the movie is spent with Bella acting bummed out and dreary.
All in All this was a total waste of money and time. If you must witness this film in theaters the please be warned: This movie is slow and boring.
Overall Rating ( * )
Mr. What?
Directed By Chris Weitz
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1259571/
First off Let me say that this movie was Horrible. I felt like chopping my dick off, and throwing it into the river after viewing this film. I painfully watched Twilight and couldn't stop rolling my eyes. Vampires who walk amongst the midst & Sparkled, no blood or gore, and massive undead virginity issues made for a solid laugh. That is, until the rest of the nation fell under the Twilight spell.
Everywhere you looked Twilight was there. Grocery Stores, Malls, Clothing Stores, ETC, ETC. At first I just ignored it, but after having 3-4 tweens get into my face about my views I decided to fight back with Harsher words and Semi-Violence. Team Cullen gear was everywhere and being shoved onto the word despite the Massive Outrage from the Horror Movie Community.
Alot of Movies had a newish spin on Vampires, but nothing as lame as Twilight. Maybe it was because of the authors Religious beliefs ( Mormon ), or The fact that Hollywood needed something to fill the void of The Harry Potter Series, I don't know for sure. What I do know is that Twilight was, and still is Hated and Loved World wide.
As I geared up for the review, I knew that I had to be open minded and non-biased against this movie as I am with every movie I review. As far as the story goes for New Moon.......Bella and Edward are "in love" and happy. Alice ( edwards sister ) throws Bella a party for her 18th birthday. All is fine until Bella cuts her finger while trying to cut some cake and sends a Cullen family member into a blood lust and attacks Bella. Fearing the the Worst Edward packs up the clan and moves out of Forks Washington for Bella's safety....
Here is where the movie tanked. Bella spends too much time being EMO and hating life. It felt like watching a love story on morphine. The lighting, acting, and sets took on this cheesy wannabe dark tone, and left the viewer longing for a fight, or some hate sex. Then along comes Jacob. Dark and full of mystery, Bella begins a friendship with him and his secret as a.....you guessed it...a werewolf. Jacob was another letdown. Maybe it's me, but seeing Sharkboy try to be seductive was anything but hot. I did see a gay couple cuddle during Jacobs scenes, and made me think.......Could this guy ever star in a Gay Porn?
The rest of the movie is....well, really bad. If you read the books and hated Twilight the movie, then this will be the same amount of Bullshit. Alot was left out for the movie adaptation. I often found myself asking "is this based off of New Moon the book, or some lose version made into a crappy movie for tweens?" Nothing about this movie was made for anybody over the age of 12. Yes, there is some decent fighting, but too much of the movie is spent with Bella acting bummed out and dreary.
All in All this was a total waste of money and time. If you must witness this film in theaters the please be warned: This movie is slow and boring.
Overall Rating ( * )
Mr. What?
Sunday, November 15, 2009
2012 ( 2009 )
Starring John Cusack, Amanda Peet, Chiwetel Eliofor, Thandie Newton, Woody Harrelson, & Oliver Platt
Directed By Roland Emmerich
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1190080/
Near the beginning of the drawn-out finale of "2012," one of the countless doomed victims of global catastrophe turns to our hero, Jackson Curtis (John Cusack), and says, "You're a lucky man, Jackson." Truer words were never spoken.
The seemingly hapless Curtis manages to dodge nearly every form of disaster-movie death known to Hollywood -- fire, flood, falling, volcanic eruption, spewed sewage -- but he does so through no apparent skill of his own.
He also manages to make his way from Los Angeles to the climactic events in the Himalayan Mountains through a series of absurdly far-fetched chance encounters (Hey, look! A gigantic Russian cargo jet! How handy!) But that's not all: The cataclysm that kills nearly everyone on Earth doesn't merely spare Jackson Curtis, it allows him to prosper.
After all, there's nothing like the fruition of apocalyptic Mayan soothsaying to bring a divorced dad back in the familial fold. The optimistic credo that Curtis, a failed writer, espouses in his science fiction novel turns out to be true as well, so his career ends up primed for a boost.
Of course, "2012," like all the disaster movies it draws from and seeks to one-up, spits in the face of such observations. Too many unexplained coincidences? Dialogue so purple it would make Prince blush? One-dimensional characters? Soulless scenes of mass carnage interspersed with cloying, manipulative dialogue or rapid-fire exposition? Shopworn supporting roles such as Woody Harrelson's wacky conspiratorial radio host and Danny Glover's noble president? Well, what did you expect? It's a disaster movie.
True enough, and part of the appeal is the way director Roland Emmerich, no stranger to the genre ("Independence Day," "The Day After Tomorrow"), faithfully fulfills expectations.
It seems, as per ancient Mesoamerican prediction, that the Earth is doomed in the year 2012, thanks to huge solar flares heating the planet's core, leading eventually to free-floating tectonic plates. And that's never a good thing. Politicians (including oily cynic Oliver Platt) and scientists (especially heroic and principled Chiwetel Ejiofor) secretly race to deal with the impending badness, while Cusack, on a camping trip with his two kids, stumbles -- there's that luck again -- onto the truth. He gathers up his ex-wife (Amanda Peet) and her new husband (Tom McCarthy) and the five of them manage to get out of Los Angeles just before California slides into the sea.
That sequence, which has formed the basis for much of the film's marketing, is the most impressive, mostly because it's the last time the destruction occurs on anything close to a human scale.
For years now, disaster movie auteurs have been upping the ante of destruction. In the 1970s, it was sufficient for several hundred souls to perish in "The Poseidon Adventure," but thanks to Emmerich and his ilk, nothing less than extinction-level events will do the trick these days.
Unfortunately, wrestling with the concept of humanity as an endangered species is more gripping than trying to depict it onscreen. No matter how many aircraft carriers get swept onto the White House, no matter how many mega-volcanoes burst forth from Yellowstone Park, no matter how many ancient basilica domes collapse onto worshipping masses, none of them are as satisfying as a limousine careening under and through collapsing skyscrapers.
Although "2012" is what they call "critic-proof," it's not immune to analysis. It depicts a world where no one, man or God, has much say in what happens to the planet, and where the survival of one family outweighs the deaths of billions. What does that say about us? Audiences who pay money to see "2012" and come away disappointed in its refusal to address such ideas should keep in mind the movie's tagline: We were warned.
Overall Rating ( * * )
Mr. What?
Directed By Roland Emmerich
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1190080/
Near the beginning of the drawn-out finale of "2012," one of the countless doomed victims of global catastrophe turns to our hero, Jackson Curtis (John Cusack), and says, "You're a lucky man, Jackson." Truer words were never spoken.
The seemingly hapless Curtis manages to dodge nearly every form of disaster-movie death known to Hollywood -- fire, flood, falling, volcanic eruption, spewed sewage -- but he does so through no apparent skill of his own.
He also manages to make his way from Los Angeles to the climactic events in the Himalayan Mountains through a series of absurdly far-fetched chance encounters (Hey, look! A gigantic Russian cargo jet! How handy!) But that's not all: The cataclysm that kills nearly everyone on Earth doesn't merely spare Jackson Curtis, it allows him to prosper.
After all, there's nothing like the fruition of apocalyptic Mayan soothsaying to bring a divorced dad back in the familial fold. The optimistic credo that Curtis, a failed writer, espouses in his science fiction novel turns out to be true as well, so his career ends up primed for a boost.
Of course, "2012," like all the disaster movies it draws from and seeks to one-up, spits in the face of such observations. Too many unexplained coincidences? Dialogue so purple it would make Prince blush? One-dimensional characters? Soulless scenes of mass carnage interspersed with cloying, manipulative dialogue or rapid-fire exposition? Shopworn supporting roles such as Woody Harrelson's wacky conspiratorial radio host and Danny Glover's noble president? Well, what did you expect? It's a disaster movie.
True enough, and part of the appeal is the way director Roland Emmerich, no stranger to the genre ("Independence Day," "The Day After Tomorrow"), faithfully fulfills expectations.
It seems, as per ancient Mesoamerican prediction, that the Earth is doomed in the year 2012, thanks to huge solar flares heating the planet's core, leading eventually to free-floating tectonic plates. And that's never a good thing. Politicians (including oily cynic Oliver Platt) and scientists (especially heroic and principled Chiwetel Ejiofor) secretly race to deal with the impending badness, while Cusack, on a camping trip with his two kids, stumbles -- there's that luck again -- onto the truth. He gathers up his ex-wife (Amanda Peet) and her new husband (Tom McCarthy) and the five of them manage to get out of Los Angeles just before California slides into the sea.
That sequence, which has formed the basis for much of the film's marketing, is the most impressive, mostly because it's the last time the destruction occurs on anything close to a human scale.
For years now, disaster movie auteurs have been upping the ante of destruction. In the 1970s, it was sufficient for several hundred souls to perish in "The Poseidon Adventure," but thanks to Emmerich and his ilk, nothing less than extinction-level events will do the trick these days.
Unfortunately, wrestling with the concept of humanity as an endangered species is more gripping than trying to depict it onscreen. No matter how many aircraft carriers get swept onto the White House, no matter how many mega-volcanoes burst forth from Yellowstone Park, no matter how many ancient basilica domes collapse onto worshipping masses, none of them are as satisfying as a limousine careening under and through collapsing skyscrapers.
Although "2012" is what they call "critic-proof," it's not immune to analysis. It depicts a world where no one, man or God, has much say in what happens to the planet, and where the survival of one family outweighs the deaths of billions. What does that say about us? Audiences who pay money to see "2012" and come away disappointed in its refusal to address such ideas should keep in mind the movie's tagline: We were warned.
Overall Rating ( * * )
Mr. What?
Gentlemen Broncos ( 2009 )
Starring: Michael Angarano, John Baker, Robin Ballard, Steve Berg, & Jemaine Clement
Directed By Jared Hess
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1161418/
Jared Hess is a vexing talent. It's clear that the director-cowriter of "Napoleon Dynamite," "Nacho Libre" and the new "Gentlemen Broncos" is a born filmmaker in the sense that he can compose scenes and sequences, command the frame and flow, see things in his own way and then render them to an audience. It's also clear that his taste for the jejune and outre limits him and that his desire to seek edges and break rules force him into corners and self-satisfied oddity.
It's tempting to read Hess into the protagonist of "Broncos," young, shy Benjamin (Michael Angarano), a home-schooled Utah boy whose widowed mother (Jennifer Coolidge) designs ghastly clothes and has no idea how difficult her idiosyncrisies have made life for her son. Benjamin writes sci-fi novels and aspires to the stature of Ronald Chevalier (Jemaine Clement), a legendary (and egoistical) author and illustrator of epic fantasy series. Benjamin attends a writing seminar at which Chevalier will be a judge and meets an unlikely pair of local entrepreneurs who make films out of unpublished manuscripts. He winds up with his newest work, "Yeast Lords," shamelessly coopted by his hero and his new friends and his only allies being his daffy mom and her new beau (Mike White).
Inside this load-o-quirk, Hess stuffs three re-enactments of "Yeast Lords": the one in Benjamin's head, the one in Chevalier's head, and the film-within-the-film made by Benjamin's new friends. They're all needlessly daffy (Sam Rockwell plays over the top in two of them, to give you the gist) and Hess amps up the oddity of the so-called 'real world' of the film as if trying to balance out these warped fantasies. It's a desperate game of one-upmanship with himself, and it wears you out -- and not with laughter.
There are pleasures in the film. Clement ("Flight of the Concords") makes a wonderfully pompous presence, crossing James Mason, the young Orson Welles and Dr. Evil, and Hess's compositional and editing skills haven't deserted him (the opening credits sequence -- a series of mock paperback covers -- is brilliant). But as the struggle toward something new and different overwhelms the film, it becomes less and less human, less and less funny and less and less worth the effort to meet it on its own terms. Hess is an auteur, yes, but even auteurs need little angels on their shoulders telling them when enough is enough.
Overall Review ( * * )
Mr. What?
Directed By Jared Hess
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1161418/
Jared Hess is a vexing talent. It's clear that the director-cowriter of "Napoleon Dynamite," "Nacho Libre" and the new "Gentlemen Broncos" is a born filmmaker in the sense that he can compose scenes and sequences, command the frame and flow, see things in his own way and then render them to an audience. It's also clear that his taste for the jejune and outre limits him and that his desire to seek edges and break rules force him into corners and self-satisfied oddity.
It's tempting to read Hess into the protagonist of "Broncos," young, shy Benjamin (Michael Angarano), a home-schooled Utah boy whose widowed mother (Jennifer Coolidge) designs ghastly clothes and has no idea how difficult her idiosyncrisies have made life for her son. Benjamin writes sci-fi novels and aspires to the stature of Ronald Chevalier (Jemaine Clement), a legendary (and egoistical) author and illustrator of epic fantasy series. Benjamin attends a writing seminar at which Chevalier will be a judge and meets an unlikely pair of local entrepreneurs who make films out of unpublished manuscripts. He winds up with his newest work, "Yeast Lords," shamelessly coopted by his hero and his new friends and his only allies being his daffy mom and her new beau (Mike White).
Inside this load-o-quirk, Hess stuffs three re-enactments of "Yeast Lords": the one in Benjamin's head, the one in Chevalier's head, and the film-within-the-film made by Benjamin's new friends. They're all needlessly daffy (Sam Rockwell plays over the top in two of them, to give you the gist) and Hess amps up the oddity of the so-called 'real world' of the film as if trying to balance out these warped fantasies. It's a desperate game of one-upmanship with himself, and it wears you out -- and not with laughter.
There are pleasures in the film. Clement ("Flight of the Concords") makes a wonderfully pompous presence, crossing James Mason, the young Orson Welles and Dr. Evil, and Hess's compositional and editing skills haven't deserted him (the opening credits sequence -- a series of mock paperback covers -- is brilliant). But as the struggle toward something new and different overwhelms the film, it becomes less and less human, less and less funny and less and less worth the effort to meet it on its own terms. Hess is an auteur, yes, but even auteurs need little angels on their shoulders telling them when enough is enough.
Overall Review ( * * )
Mr. What?
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Antichrist ( 2009 )
Starring: Willem Dafoe, Charlotte Gainsbourg
Directed By Lars von Trier
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0870984/
That “Antichrist” can shock, appall, outrage and disgust as much as it does is perverse testament to writer-director Lars von Trier, a man of outsized passions and talents and underdeveloped humanity and empathy. More than most of his work, this arthouse horror film teems with misogyny, cruelty and childish spite. It’s also, damnably, quite well made.
Charlotte Gainsbourg and Willem Dafoe lose a child to a tragic (yet beautifully rendered) accident and then suffer devastating waves of guilt and grief. He (neither has a proper name) is a therapist and rather rashly decides to counsel her through her anguish. They retreat to a cabin in the woods which, inevitably, is surrounded by dark forces and filled with objects that can be used as weapons by, say, a woman in the throes of inchoate sensations of loss and lust.
Infamously, Gainsbourg inflicts grueling tortures on Dafoe and herself, and they’re as bad as you can imagine, and you will not easily forget them. But, too, you won’t easily forget the very real feelings of sensuality and trauma at the heart of the film. At the same time, you may not forget or, indeed, forgive the palpable contempt that von Trier holds for his heroine -- for all women, in fact, as it seems. There’s a lot of hate in this film. But a lot of talent, too. It borders on despicable, but you can’t ignore it.
Overall Rating ( * * * )
Mr. What?
Directed By Lars von Trier
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0870984/
That “Antichrist” can shock, appall, outrage and disgust as much as it does is perverse testament to writer-director Lars von Trier, a man of outsized passions and talents and underdeveloped humanity and empathy. More than most of his work, this arthouse horror film teems with misogyny, cruelty and childish spite. It’s also, damnably, quite well made.
Charlotte Gainsbourg and Willem Dafoe lose a child to a tragic (yet beautifully rendered) accident and then suffer devastating waves of guilt and grief. He (neither has a proper name) is a therapist and rather rashly decides to counsel her through her anguish. They retreat to a cabin in the woods which, inevitably, is surrounded by dark forces and filled with objects that can be used as weapons by, say, a woman in the throes of inchoate sensations of loss and lust.
Infamously, Gainsbourg inflicts grueling tortures on Dafoe and herself, and they’re as bad as you can imagine, and you will not easily forget them. But, too, you won’t easily forget the very real feelings of sensuality and trauma at the heart of the film. At the same time, you may not forget or, indeed, forgive the palpable contempt that von Trier holds for his heroine -- for all women, in fact, as it seems. There’s a lot of hate in this film. But a lot of talent, too. It borders on despicable, but you can’t ignore it.
Overall Rating ( * * * )
Mr. What?
Friday, November 6, 2009
The Fourth Kind ( 2009 )
Starring: Milla Jovovich, Will Patton, Hakeem Kae-Kazim, & Corey Johnson
Directed By Olatunde Osunsanmi
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1220198/
As movie-selling gimmicks go, "The Fourth Kind" has a fairly good one.
Let's see if we can explain this. The film opens as star Milla Jovovich walks up to the camera, introduces herself as "actress Milla Jovovich" and tells us we're about to watch a docudrama about a real alien-abduction researcher named Dr. Abigail Tyler.
Jovovich then spends the rest of the movie as Tyler, a woman who comes to believe that aliens are terrorizing Nome, Alaska, residents, including her. Among the skeptics is the county sheriff, played by Will Patton, who gives the same furious ham-and-cheese performance he rocked in "The Postman."
This supposed re-enactment is intercut with supposed "actual interviews" and "archived audio," recorded by the supposedly real Dr. Tyler. There's even an "actual" video Q&A with Tyler, supposedly recorded years after the Alaskan events. The poor doctor is as pale as an actor slathered in makeup and speaks in a traumatized monotone that might be mistaken for an on-the-nose line reading if it weren't, you know, "real."
Anyhoo. Get past the distracting "is it or isn't it?" nonsense, and "Fourth Kind" has its moments.
There are some slightly unnerving shots of owls and a couple of hypnotic-regression sessions gone bone-snappingly wrong. I like very much that writer/director Olatunde Osunsanmi has no intention of giving us a clear look at his alien menace. He also has some meta fun with a few split-screen shots that contrast his "documentary" and "re-enacted" footage.
Unfortunately, the story finally gets too silly to believe, even if you Want to Believe. There's too much unnecessary psychologically muddled stuff involving the death of Tyler's husband, plus some final-act foolishness that's basically the equivalent of a doctor who treats broken necks by asking someone to break her neck so she can better understand the injury.
The movie's carnival-barker hard sell is that it's after The Truth. It's really after an opening-weekend gross, of course. It's sporadically clever and chilling, but I'll be shocked if it endures as a "Blair Witch"-style horror vérité phenomenon.
Overall Rating ( * * * )
Mr. What?
Directed By Olatunde Osunsanmi
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1220198/
As movie-selling gimmicks go, "The Fourth Kind" has a fairly good one.
Let's see if we can explain this. The film opens as star Milla Jovovich walks up to the camera, introduces herself as "actress Milla Jovovich" and tells us we're about to watch a docudrama about a real alien-abduction researcher named Dr. Abigail Tyler.
Jovovich then spends the rest of the movie as Tyler, a woman who comes to believe that aliens are terrorizing Nome, Alaska, residents, including her. Among the skeptics is the county sheriff, played by Will Patton, who gives the same furious ham-and-cheese performance he rocked in "The Postman."
This supposed re-enactment is intercut with supposed "actual interviews" and "archived audio," recorded by the supposedly real Dr. Tyler. There's even an "actual" video Q&A with Tyler, supposedly recorded years after the Alaskan events. The poor doctor is as pale as an actor slathered in makeup and speaks in a traumatized monotone that might be mistaken for an on-the-nose line reading if it weren't, you know, "real."
Anyhoo. Get past the distracting "is it or isn't it?" nonsense, and "Fourth Kind" has its moments.
There are some slightly unnerving shots of owls and a couple of hypnotic-regression sessions gone bone-snappingly wrong. I like very much that writer/director Olatunde Osunsanmi has no intention of giving us a clear look at his alien menace. He also has some meta fun with a few split-screen shots that contrast his "documentary" and "re-enacted" footage.
Unfortunately, the story finally gets too silly to believe, even if you Want to Believe. There's too much unnecessary psychologically muddled stuff involving the death of Tyler's husband, plus some final-act foolishness that's basically the equivalent of a doctor who treats broken necks by asking someone to break her neck so she can better understand the injury.
The movie's carnival-barker hard sell is that it's after The Truth. It's really after an opening-weekend gross, of course. It's sporadically clever and chilling, but I'll be shocked if it endures as a "Blair Witch"-style horror vérité phenomenon.
Overall Rating ( * * * )
Mr. What?
The Men Who Stare At Goats ( 2009 )
Starring: Jeff Bridges, George Clooney, Kevin Spacey, and Ewan McGregor
Directed By Grant Heslov
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1234548/
If you can measure the influence of artists by the number of ill-starred imitations their work inspires, then “The Men Who Stare at Goats” testifies to the glory of the Coen brothers.
Deploying a goofy George Clooney, a long-haired, Dude-ish Jeff Bridges, and Coen regular Stephen Root, combining an outlandish story with slapstick violence, aiming for a balance of cold-eyed satire and cockeyed whimsy, the film too often feels strained and desperate, a high school musical version, in a way, of something more precisely distilled. It’s like a movie the Coen boys conceived and then abandoned as too slight.
Director Grant Heslov’s film is based on a non-fiction account of a cold-war era US Army intelligence unit that attempted to use New Age training to create a cadre of super soldiers. The effort was abandoned, but our protagonist, a journalist played by Ewan McGregor, finds threads of it still informing various operations in today’s Iraq War.
There are moments of levity throughout the film, but it’s made with pedestrian craft and feels more like a set-up and a series of vignettes than a compelling yarn. Chiefly, it demonstrates just how accomplished the Coens are even when their films seem offhanded and easy.
Overal rating ( * * 1/2 )
-Mr. What?
Directed By Grant Heslov
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1234548/
If you can measure the influence of artists by the number of ill-starred imitations their work inspires, then “The Men Who Stare at Goats” testifies to the glory of the Coen brothers.
Deploying a goofy George Clooney, a long-haired, Dude-ish Jeff Bridges, and Coen regular Stephen Root, combining an outlandish story with slapstick violence, aiming for a balance of cold-eyed satire and cockeyed whimsy, the film too often feels strained and desperate, a high school musical version, in a way, of something more precisely distilled. It’s like a movie the Coen boys conceived and then abandoned as too slight.
Director Grant Heslov’s film is based on a non-fiction account of a cold-war era US Army intelligence unit that attempted to use New Age training to create a cadre of super soldiers. The effort was abandoned, but our protagonist, a journalist played by Ewan McGregor, finds threads of it still informing various operations in today’s Iraq War.
There are moments of levity throughout the film, but it’s made with pedestrian craft and feels more like a set-up and a series of vignettes than a compelling yarn. Chiefly, it demonstrates just how accomplished the Coens are even when their films seem offhanded and easy.
Overal rating ( * * 1/2 )
-Mr. What?
Sunday, November 1, 2009
The Stitcher: Unrated - DVD (2007)
Director: Darla Enlow
Starring: Scott Gaffen, Carmen Garrison, Justin Boyd, Heather Surdukan, Christopher Rowe, Laurel Williamson, Celeste Cash & Mike Kelley
"Fear is not created, it's sewn in", that's the tagline for this little okie terror. Basic plot... a bunch of friends meet up at a house in the woods and get picked off one by one in B-Movie slasher style. The killer in this flick is a sick little hillbilly that takes to sewing buttons into his skin every time he does the dead.
More comedy than horror this flicks got a bevy of dumb bitches waiting to die, dumbass stoners and over-the-top hillbillies that don't believe in bathing. The only thing it's lacking in is the blood and the boobs. They definitly could have upped the gore factor, but it still doesn't detract from an entertaining film. Don't quite understand how this is an "unrated" version though.
DVD Extra's include music videos by Radioradio & Darkset Theory, bloopers, photo gallery, making of featurette & a digital comic book of Carthage, the short film that became Stitcher. Commentary can be found in the set-up menu.
Verdict: * * * 1/2
- Xtoph
Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant (2009)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0450405/
Director: Paul Weitz
Starring: John C. Reilly, Chris Massoglia & Josh Hutcherson
Alright... this one is pretty good. Kind of like Buffy The Vampire Slayer for a slightly younger set. Meet Darren, a mama's boy that always does what he's told who has a hard-on for spiders. Then meet Steve, his best friend and polar opposite. Circus sideshow comes through town and the boys sneak out to go watch. There they meet a vampire that Steve recognizes from his vampire book. Steve tries to get him to turn him, but gets refuses. Darren steals his spider. Blah, blah, blah, stuff happens, Darren gets made into the vampire's assistant & Steve gets recruited by his enemies the Vampinese. Darren goes on the road with the circus sideshow and learns how to become a "good" vamp, while Steve gets to be bad. Titans clash, epic battle happens and sets the stage for many sequels to come.
That's the gist of it. Based off of some kid's books that I have not read. This movie was a blast though. Much better than wasting your cash on the latest Saw. It takes you back to being a kid, when Halloween was cool and anything dark made you happy. Not really much else to say. Can't wait for the next in the franchise.
Verdict: * * * *
- Al B. Damned
Director: Paul Weitz
Starring: John C. Reilly, Chris Massoglia & Josh Hutcherson
Alright... this one is pretty good. Kind of like Buffy The Vampire Slayer for a slightly younger set. Meet Darren, a mama's boy that always does what he's told who has a hard-on for spiders. Then meet Steve, his best friend and polar opposite. Circus sideshow comes through town and the boys sneak out to go watch. There they meet a vampire that Steve recognizes from his vampire book. Steve tries to get him to turn him, but gets refuses. Darren steals his spider. Blah, blah, blah, stuff happens, Darren gets made into the vampire's assistant & Steve gets recruited by his enemies the Vampinese. Darren goes on the road with the circus sideshow and learns how to become a "good" vamp, while Steve gets to be bad. Titans clash, epic battle happens and sets the stage for many sequels to come.
That's the gist of it. Based off of some kid's books that I have not read. This movie was a blast though. Much better than wasting your cash on the latest Saw. It takes you back to being a kid, when Halloween was cool and anything dark made you happy. Not really much else to say. Can't wait for the next in the franchise.
Verdict: * * * *
- Al B. Damned
The Stepfather (2009)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0814335/
Director: Nelson McCormick
Starring: Dylan Walsh, Sela Ward, Penn Badgley & Amber Heard
Well here it is... another crappy remake of another not so great 80's horror flick. In this one a dude rolls into town starts hitting on some single mom's trying to piece together the perfect family from someone else's leftovers. He picks up a chick and has her wrapped around his finger in no time. Older son comes home from military school and things don't go as well... Stepdaddy flips his shit and the fun never really begins...
It's boring and predictable, even if you have not seen the original or it's sequels. PG-13. No blood, no flesh, no script worth a damn... but at least is was still more entertaining than sorority row.
Really... save this one for late night cable when it's free and you can't sleep... it should help...
Verdict: * *
- Al B. Damned
Director: Nelson McCormick
Starring: Dylan Walsh, Sela Ward, Penn Badgley & Amber Heard
Well here it is... another crappy remake of another not so great 80's horror flick. In this one a dude rolls into town starts hitting on some single mom's trying to piece together the perfect family from someone else's leftovers. He picks up a chick and has her wrapped around his finger in no time. Older son comes home from military school and things don't go as well... Stepdaddy flips his shit and the fun never really begins...
It's boring and predictable, even if you have not seen the original or it's sequels. PG-13. No blood, no flesh, no script worth a damn... but at least is was still more entertaining than sorority row.
Really... save this one for late night cable when it's free and you can't sleep... it should help...
Verdict: * *
- Al B. Damned
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Michael Jackson's "This is it" (2009)
Starring: a bunch of famous people and the King Of Pop.
Directed By Kenny Ortega
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1477715/
It would have been a heck of a show. No one could sanely try and deny that. Michael Jackson was going to take with him to London's O2 Arena a crack band, a squadron of dancers and background singers, aerialists and pole dancing experts, elevators, a cherry picker, possibly a bulldozer, and enough fireworks to make KISS blush.
Apparently a Norwegian scientist had been brought in to help wardrobe work out a problem. Hard drives worth of new video -- movies, actually -- were shot. There was going to be a black-and-white shootout between Jackson and Edward G. Robinson and Humphrey Bogart. The all-new "Thriller" scenes were to be in 3D.
It would have been a heck of a show -- one obviously designed by Jackson and the creative and business to team to remove him from the spectacle of his life and place him once again within the spectacle of his art.
And of course it never happened.
We know how "This Is It" ends.
Hastily assembled after Jackson's death in June, the film cobbles together rehearsal and behind-the-scenes footage as the gang prepares to ship to London for 50 sold out shows. Early stories about the movie were right: It's not a concert film, and it's not a documentary. It's a rehearsal film.
Jackson is engaged and exacting when it comes to the music. He looks as good as Michael Jackson could look, and far more spry and energetic than you'd expect from a guy who needed anesthesia to sleep. But the movie tries to do what the show would have: make you forget the tabloid Jackson, but knowing the ending, it's hard.
A documentary would have been a better historical document than a rehearsal film -- unless you're a big fan. If that's the case, you'll love "This Is It." If you're not, it's like watching band practice.
I guess if MJ was an Idol to you, it might come as a major let down.
Overall Rating (*)
Mr. What?
Directed By Kenny Ortega
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1477715/
It would have been a heck of a show. No one could sanely try and deny that. Michael Jackson was going to take with him to London's O2 Arena a crack band, a squadron of dancers and background singers, aerialists and pole dancing experts, elevators, a cherry picker, possibly a bulldozer, and enough fireworks to make KISS blush.
Apparently a Norwegian scientist had been brought in to help wardrobe work out a problem. Hard drives worth of new video -- movies, actually -- were shot. There was going to be a black-and-white shootout between Jackson and Edward G. Robinson and Humphrey Bogart. The all-new "Thriller" scenes were to be in 3D.
It would have been a heck of a show -- one obviously designed by Jackson and the creative and business to team to remove him from the spectacle of his life and place him once again within the spectacle of his art.
And of course it never happened.
We know how "This Is It" ends.
Hastily assembled after Jackson's death in June, the film cobbles together rehearsal and behind-the-scenes footage as the gang prepares to ship to London for 50 sold out shows. Early stories about the movie were right: It's not a concert film, and it's not a documentary. It's a rehearsal film.
Jackson is engaged and exacting when it comes to the music. He looks as good as Michael Jackson could look, and far more spry and energetic than you'd expect from a guy who needed anesthesia to sleep. But the movie tries to do what the show would have: make you forget the tabloid Jackson, but knowing the ending, it's hard.
A documentary would have been a better historical document than a rehearsal film -- unless you're a big fan. If that's the case, you'll love "This Is It." If you're not, it's like watching band practice.
I guess if MJ was an Idol to you, it might come as a major let down.
Overall Rating (*)
Mr. What?
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Saw VI ( 2009 )
Starring: Tobin Bell, Costas Mandylor, Mark Rolston, & Shawnee Smith
Directed by Kevin Greutert
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1233227/
I'm not even going to give a fuck about this review. It's another Saw movie. Once again for the sixth year in a row We get a Saw movie for Halloween. Oh wait, Halloween is THIS Saturday, but wasn't Saw VI released Friday the 23rd?!?!?!? Yeah, kinda fucking lame Huh? This time it's so commercial that we have a reality tv winner playing a semi lead role. I really hope this is the last one, but have some inside info that we might have 2 more....
Soooooo here is the basic plot...Special Agent Strahm is dead, and Detective Hoffman has emerged as the unchallenged successor to Jigsaw's legacy. However, when the FBI draws closer to Hoffman, he is forced to set a game into motion, and Jigsaw's grand scheme is finally understood. I actually thought at some point they would bring back The DR. from the first one, but I guess that would be too lame.... Also, why drag this out anymore? Leaving it at the 3rd movie was the logical choice, not stretching it out for at least 3 more movies.....
For those Torture Porn fans though, this is a great movie. The same traps, Gore, and bondage feel are still there, but turned up a notch. At times I caught myself going "OH FUCK!", so at least that element is still there. I guess I'm just a little bent over the constant milking of this franchise. I love the excessive blood and carnage, but making this many movies about the same thing is getting a little too close to the classics of the 80's and 90's......And no offense to any Saw fan, but this garbage DOES NOT rate to any Freddy, Jason, Michael, or Chucky. Let the franchise die with some dignity.
Overall Rating ( * * )
Mr. What?
Directed by Kevin Greutert
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1233227/
I'm not even going to give a fuck about this review. It's another Saw movie. Once again for the sixth year in a row We get a Saw movie for Halloween. Oh wait, Halloween is THIS Saturday, but wasn't Saw VI released Friday the 23rd?!?!?!? Yeah, kinda fucking lame Huh? This time it's so commercial that we have a reality tv winner playing a semi lead role. I really hope this is the last one, but have some inside info that we might have 2 more....
Soooooo here is the basic plot...Special Agent Strahm is dead, and Detective Hoffman has emerged as the unchallenged successor to Jigsaw's legacy. However, when the FBI draws closer to Hoffman, he is forced to set a game into motion, and Jigsaw's grand scheme is finally understood. I actually thought at some point they would bring back The DR. from the first one, but I guess that would be too lame.... Also, why drag this out anymore? Leaving it at the 3rd movie was the logical choice, not stretching it out for at least 3 more movies.....
For those Torture Porn fans though, this is a great movie. The same traps, Gore, and bondage feel are still there, but turned up a notch. At times I caught myself going "OH FUCK!", so at least that element is still there. I guess I'm just a little bent over the constant milking of this franchise. I love the excessive blood and carnage, but making this many movies about the same thing is getting a little too close to the classics of the 80's and 90's......And no offense to any Saw fan, but this garbage DOES NOT rate to any Freddy, Jason, Michael, or Chucky. Let the franchise die with some dignity.
Overall Rating ( * * )
Mr. What?
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Paranormal Activity ( 2009 )
Starring: Katie Featherston, Micah Sloat, & Mark fredrichs
Directed By Oren Peli
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1179904/
Yep. I liked it. All of the hype paid off. Because I live in Montana, we didn’t get PA until Friday, and man it was worth the wait. I read a lot of mixed reviews about how lame it was, how scary it was, and was it real. If you like Cannibal Holocaust, or the Blair Witch Project….well then go see this movie. PA had a real feel for chaos as the movie went along, and I can only hope that some of you can see it on the big screen.
So our story follows a young couple who have decided to film what goes on in the night while they sleep…. The camera is just a single shot deal. What it see’s we see. At first it’s just Katie and Micah sleeping with some footsteps here or there, but as the night goes on so does the noises. After Micah and Katie review days of strang noises and sights they call upon a Psychic for help. The Psychic tells them that it might be a demon in the house and to avoid all hostile vibes, because that could only provoke whatevers there.
As the days go by the haunts and sounds get more intense and we as the viewer witness some bizarre footage. I did like how as the days kept going, the fights between Katie and Micah become more foul foulmouthed and angry. Which (as you can guess) results in more extreme things happening. Watching Katie wake up and stand over the bed for hours (of elapsed time) staring at Micah while he slept, seeing weird footprints walk across the bedroom floor,or watching Katie getting dragged off of the bed screaming, creeped me the fuck out.
Look lets be honest, this has been done before. Nothing new here, but dammit it was a fun flick! I also loved the Marketing for PA. Get a million demands and the movie goes nationwide. God, if only we the viewers were given that opportunity with other movies it would be a new era in movie viewing. Oh and before I forget……. If you are going to see this movie, go to an early showing. Anything after 6 PM will only bring out the idiots who will ruin it for you.
Overall Rating ( * * * * )
Mr. What?
Directed By Oren Peli
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1179904/
Yep. I liked it. All of the hype paid off. Because I live in Montana, we didn’t get PA until Friday, and man it was worth the wait. I read a lot of mixed reviews about how lame it was, how scary it was, and was it real. If you like Cannibal Holocaust, or the Blair Witch Project….well then go see this movie. PA had a real feel for chaos as the movie went along, and I can only hope that some of you can see it on the big screen.
So our story follows a young couple who have decided to film what goes on in the night while they sleep…. The camera is just a single shot deal. What it see’s we see. At first it’s just Katie and Micah sleeping with some footsteps here or there, but as the night goes on so does the noises. After Micah and Katie review days of strang noises and sights they call upon a Psychic for help. The Psychic tells them that it might be a demon in the house and to avoid all hostile vibes, because that could only provoke whatevers there.
As the days go by the haunts and sounds get more intense and we as the viewer witness some bizarre footage. I did like how as the days kept going, the fights between Katie and Micah become more foul foulmouthed and angry. Which (as you can guess) results in more extreme things happening. Watching Katie wake up and stand over the bed for hours (of elapsed time) staring at Micah while he slept, seeing weird footprints walk across the bedroom floor,or watching Katie getting dragged off of the bed screaming, creeped me the fuck out.
Look lets be honest, this has been done before. Nothing new here, but dammit it was a fun flick! I also loved the Marketing for PA. Get a million demands and the movie goes nationwide. God, if only we the viewers were given that opportunity with other movies it would be a new era in movie viewing. Oh and before I forget……. If you are going to see this movie, go to an early showing. Anything after 6 PM will only bring out the idiots who will ruin it for you.
Overall Rating ( * * * * )
Mr. What?
Law Abiding Citizen (2009)
Starring: Gerard Butler, Jamie Foxx, Colm Meaney, & Bruce McGill
Directed by F. Gary Gray
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1197624/
What an Awesome flick with a total fucking letdown ending. Everything about LAC was awesome. The plot, the action, & the suspense were top notch, except the ending. Gerard Butler was once again solid in acting, and for once I was impressed with Jamie Foxx, but the ending totally fucked with me. So for a solid date movie, or a good buddy flick I say go see this!!!
OK so on to the review……..Clyde Shelton (Gerard Butler) is a brilliant planner and inventor. One night two robbers invade his Philadelphia home and brutally kill his wife and daughter, and almost kill him. The killers are caught, and Assistant DA Nick Rice (Jamie Foxx) is assigned the case. Nick is ordered by the DA to make a deal with one of the killers to testify against his partner for a 10 year plea bargain prison sentence. Clyde doesn't want Nick to make the deal, but Nick says it was too late and the deal is done. The other killer got the death penalty. After 10 years, the other killer is released from prison, and he soon ends up dead. Clyde is arrested and kind of admits to Nick that he did it. Clyde is put in jail, and he warns Nick that he must fix the broken justice system that failed him and his family or else anyone connected to his case will soon die. Even from jail, Clyde's threats become a reality, and Nick must stop Clyde before his family is next.
Yeah I really liked this movie, but like I said the end kinda threw me. It had one of those Horror Movie endings where the “bad guy” dies and the Hero lives no matter how corrupt he or she is. Maybe it was Grays way of showing some sort of Humanity to a scum bag like Nick Rice, but it was totally weak, and kinda brought down a solid homerun movie for everybody.
All in all LAC was a fun romp. If you liked The movie Four Brothers, then you will totally dig this.
Overall rating ( * * * * )
Mr. What?
Directed by F. Gary Gray
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1197624/
What an Awesome flick with a total fucking letdown ending. Everything about LAC was awesome. The plot, the action, & the suspense were top notch, except the ending. Gerard Butler was once again solid in acting, and for once I was impressed with Jamie Foxx, but the ending totally fucked with me. So for a solid date movie, or a good buddy flick I say go see this!!!
OK so on to the review……..Clyde Shelton (Gerard Butler) is a brilliant planner and inventor. One night two robbers invade his Philadelphia home and brutally kill his wife and daughter, and almost kill him. The killers are caught, and Assistant DA Nick Rice (Jamie Foxx) is assigned the case. Nick is ordered by the DA to make a deal with one of the killers to testify against his partner for a 10 year plea bargain prison sentence. Clyde doesn't want Nick to make the deal, but Nick says it was too late and the deal is done. The other killer got the death penalty. After 10 years, the other killer is released from prison, and he soon ends up dead. Clyde is arrested and kind of admits to Nick that he did it. Clyde is put in jail, and he warns Nick that he must fix the broken justice system that failed him and his family or else anyone connected to his case will soon die. Even from jail, Clyde's threats become a reality, and Nick must stop Clyde before his family is next.
Yeah I really liked this movie, but like I said the end kinda threw me. It had one of those Horror Movie endings where the “bad guy” dies and the Hero lives no matter how corrupt he or she is. Maybe it was Grays way of showing some sort of Humanity to a scum bag like Nick Rice, but it was totally weak, and kinda brought down a solid homerun movie for everybody.
All in all LAC was a fun romp. If you liked The movie Four Brothers, then you will totally dig this.
Overall rating ( * * * * )
Mr. What?
Friday, October 2, 2009
Whip It ( 2009 )
Starring: Ellen Page, Marcia Gay Harden, Ali Shawkat, Sarah Habel, & Shannon Eagen
Written by Shauna Cross
Directed by Drew Barrymore
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1172233/
SOOOOOOOOO What happens when an actress losing her shine decides to direct a movie? The result is Whip It. I for one thought it sucked. Not because of the story, or acting, but the direction and some shots just fell flat. It reminded me of a pg-13 version of Rollerball. Yeah, A lot of us know about the Womens Rollerball league and the history on that, but this version just seems to be way too much bubble gum and Revlon color stay. If Miss Drew really wanted to make this an epic smash, she would’ve made this a very hard PG-13. I felt that with a touch more of adult content this film would’ve gotten a solid 4 stars.
So our story goes as this……In Bodeen, Texas, an indie-rock loving misfit ( Page ) finds a way of dealing with her small-town misery after she discovers a roller derby league in nearby Austin. AWWWWWWWW so little miss EX- Pagent Contestant in a small town now wants to throw elbows, sweat, Roller skate, and feel all adult. Good God Thankfully I’m not Diabetic, or I would’ve gone into shock in my seat. Really? This movie is nothing more than a chance for Ellen Page to shed the Juno tag, and nothing else. I felt that as a film reviewer my mind had turned to baby shit and was leaking outta my ears.
If you’re a Parent and want to treat your kid to a semi chucked up movie, then this would be for you. My other complaint is Miss Drew’s constant attention to the 1970’s. Charlies Angels was OK for a Late 90’s summer blockbuster. But it’s 10 years later, and a lot of the world really doesn’t care to see yet another disgruntled Indie kid trying to make it in the world full of catch phrases and snarky attitude. In all I would sum it up by saying this movie was an Epic FAIL, but was funny to see Juno get put on her ass…..Where’s Bleaker now when you need him Juno?
Overall Rating ( * ½ )
Mr. What?
Written by Shauna Cross
Directed by Drew Barrymore
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1172233/
SOOOOOOOOO What happens when an actress losing her shine decides to direct a movie? The result is Whip It. I for one thought it sucked. Not because of the story, or acting, but the direction and some shots just fell flat. It reminded me of a pg-13 version of Rollerball. Yeah, A lot of us know about the Womens Rollerball league and the history on that, but this version just seems to be way too much bubble gum and Revlon color stay. If Miss Drew really wanted to make this an epic smash, she would’ve made this a very hard PG-13. I felt that with a touch more of adult content this film would’ve gotten a solid 4 stars.
So our story goes as this……In Bodeen, Texas, an indie-rock loving misfit ( Page ) finds a way of dealing with her small-town misery after she discovers a roller derby league in nearby Austin. AWWWWWWWW so little miss EX- Pagent Contestant in a small town now wants to throw elbows, sweat, Roller skate, and feel all adult. Good God Thankfully I’m not Diabetic, or I would’ve gone into shock in my seat. Really? This movie is nothing more than a chance for Ellen Page to shed the Juno tag, and nothing else. I felt that as a film reviewer my mind had turned to baby shit and was leaking outta my ears.
If you’re a Parent and want to treat your kid to a semi chucked up movie, then this would be for you. My other complaint is Miss Drew’s constant attention to the 1970’s. Charlies Angels was OK for a Late 90’s summer blockbuster. But it’s 10 years later, and a lot of the world really doesn’t care to see yet another disgruntled Indie kid trying to make it in the world full of catch phrases and snarky attitude. In all I would sum it up by saying this movie was an Epic FAIL, but was funny to see Juno get put on her ass…..Where’s Bleaker now when you need him Juno?
Overall Rating ( * ½ )
Mr. What?
Friday, September 25, 2009
Surrogates (2009)
Starring: Bruce Willis, Ving Rhames, Radha Mitchell, Rosamund Pike & Boris Kodjoe
Directed by Jonathan Mostow
Any time any slightly new piece of technology comes along, you can count on allegorical science fiction adventure following quick on its heels, taking the basic idea and expanding it to ridiculous extremes in order to make a none to subtle point about the human condition. Sometimes about chocolate, but usually the human condition. All right, I’m lying about some of that.
The overreaction in “Surrogates” is based on the world of MySpace and Facebook and social networking in general. At some point in the near future, human beings have the ability to live vicariously through robot doppelgangers. They look the way their owners want them to look, sound the way their owners want them to sound and remove the possibilities of harm or embarrassments from life experiences. Which is to say they remove life from life experiences.
They’re also so addictive that, if the opening exposition is to be believed, 90% of the planet use them (which would make them the cheapest life-like humanoid robots ever), and use them so much they don’t bother leaving their homes or even their beds if they can help it. Second Life become First Life.
It’s a bit of a stretch (and by bit, I mean roughly airport runway) but that’s okay. A fair amount of suspension of disbelief is required for these sorts of things, to keep from wondering too much why anyone would be allowed to make the robots super strong for instance. Obviously it’s to make the action sequences as thrilling as possible, but the fact that there’s no better answer than that, while typical of the genre, shows right off the bat how much thought can be expected out of it.
FBI Special Agent Greer (Bruce Willis) hasn’t been outside of his own apartment in years, using his surrogate to investigate crimes, up to and including the first death of a person due to damage done to the surrogate. And not just any person, but the son of the surrogate’s inventor (James Cromwell).
The problem is of course technology interfering with human beings’ ability to actually communicate with one another. Which it can and does, even if not to the absurd extent sci-fi tends to take things in order to make its point. And just in case that point was not made abundantly clear within the first five minutes, director Jonathan Mostow (“Terminator 3”) and his screenwriters spend the next 85 minutes expounding on it. It’s not so much beating a dead horse as driving it into the ground.
Greer has been using his surrogate as way to separate himself from the pain of real life, specifically the loss of his son some years earlier in a car accident, as his wife (Rosamund Pike). The separation is gradually getting to him and he has begun to question, as the anti-surrogate revolutionaries have, if their idealized selves are worth the price.
Willis’ haggard face is maybe the films’ real saving grace. It perfectly sums up that price in one close-up. As his anxiety comes to the surface from trying to fit into the real world (after his surrogate is taken away) Willis is forced to cast aside his usual haughty coolness and manages to become interesting again. The filmmakers have gone to some trouble as well to tie his personal story with his wife into the overall plot, and it does work to some extent.
It also runs into the hard wall that is the overall plot. It’s not bad in and of itself; the villain is somewhat justified in what he’s doing, even if he’s gone off the deep end a bit. A villain who wants more than just villainy or power always makes a story better, and that’s more or less true of “Surrogates.” On the other hand, for his identity to remain secret as long as possible it requires Greer to be quite possibly the dumbest FBI agent in the world. Considering how easily he is lead around by the nose and has to have everything spelled out for him in big block letters, it’s a wonder he ever figures out what’s going on.
For most audiences that wouldn’t matter, they’ve just come for the action sequences where the surrogates jump around and keep going even after taking lots of damage. There’s only a few of those, unfortunately, and while well staged their probably not enough to sate the modern action film lover, even in such a short movie.
Sure it’s ham handed and shallow, with not enough panache to cover up all the spackle holding it together, but that’s okay. Underneath its typical Hollywood exterior there is a decent movie waiting quite a bit of which shines through. But so much else is just typical of the drama, it’s hard to summon any more enjoyment from it.
In fact, if any one word could sum up “Surrogates” it would be just that: typical. But you could do worse.
The overreaction in “Surrogates” is based on the world of MySpace and Facebook and social networking in general. At some point in the near future, human beings have the ability to live vicariously through robot doppelgangers. They look the way their owners want them to look, sound the way their owners want them to sound and remove the possibilities of harm or embarrassments from life experiences. Which is to say they remove life from life experiences.
They’re also so addictive that, if the opening exposition is to be believed, 90% of the planet use them (which would make them the cheapest life-like humanoid robots ever), and use them so much they don’t bother leaving their homes or even their beds if they can help it. Second Life become First Life.
It’s a bit of a stretch (and by bit, I mean roughly airport runway) but that’s okay. A fair amount of suspension of disbelief is required for these sorts of things, to keep from wondering too much why anyone would be allowed to make the robots super strong for instance. Obviously it’s to make the action sequences as thrilling as possible, but the fact that there’s no better answer than that, while typical of the genre, shows right off the bat how much thought can be expected out of it.
FBI Special Agent Greer (Bruce Willis) hasn’t been outside of his own apartment in years, using his surrogate to investigate crimes, up to and including the first death of a person due to damage done to the surrogate. And not just any person, but the son of the surrogate’s inventor (James Cromwell).
The problem is of course technology interfering with human beings’ ability to actually communicate with one another. Which it can and does, even if not to the absurd extent sci-fi tends to take things in order to make its point. And just in case that point was not made abundantly clear within the first five minutes, director Jonathan Mostow (“Terminator 3”) and his screenwriters spend the next 85 minutes expounding on it. It’s not so much beating a dead horse as driving it into the ground.
Greer has been using his surrogate as way to separate himself from the pain of real life, specifically the loss of his son some years earlier in a car accident, as his wife (Rosamund Pike). The separation is gradually getting to him and he has begun to question, as the anti-surrogate revolutionaries have, if their idealized selves are worth the price.
Willis’ haggard face is maybe the films’ real saving grace. It perfectly sums up that price in one close-up. As his anxiety comes to the surface from trying to fit into the real world (after his surrogate is taken away) Willis is forced to cast aside his usual haughty coolness and manages to become interesting again. The filmmakers have gone to some trouble as well to tie his personal story with his wife into the overall plot, and it does work to some extent.
It also runs into the hard wall that is the overall plot. It’s not bad in and of itself; the villain is somewhat justified in what he’s doing, even if he’s gone off the deep end a bit. A villain who wants more than just villainy or power always makes a story better, and that’s more or less true of “Surrogates.” On the other hand, for his identity to remain secret as long as possible it requires Greer to be quite possibly the dumbest FBI agent in the world. Considering how easily he is lead around by the nose and has to have everything spelled out for him in big block letters, it’s a wonder he ever figures out what’s going on.
For most audiences that wouldn’t matter, they’ve just come for the action sequences where the surrogates jump around and keep going even after taking lots of damage. There’s only a few of those, unfortunately, and while well staged their probably not enough to sate the modern action film lover, even in such a short movie.
Sure it’s ham handed and shallow, with not enough panache to cover up all the spackle holding it together, but that’s okay. Underneath its typical Hollywood exterior there is a decent movie waiting quite a bit of which shines through. But so much else is just typical of the drama, it’s hard to summon any more enjoyment from it.
In fact, if any one word could sum up “Surrogates” it would be just that: typical. But you could do worse.
Overall Review ( * * * )
Mr. What?
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Pandorum (2009)
Starring: Dennis Quaid, Ben Foster, Cam Gigandet, Antje Traue, & Cung Le
Directed by Christian Alvart
Ok so here is the skinny. 2 Astronauts aboard an Ark ship awake from their Cryogenic tanks with memory loss. No clue about who they are or what happened. As they search the ship for clues of origin, mission ( if any ), and other crew members, something is aboard the ship chasing them. I don't want to give away what is chasing them, but I will say it's Mutants....In some way;) Nothing original about the movie really, We've seen it before in Pitch Black, Aliens, and so forth, but at times there was a more savage feel than the others. The only complaint I have is when the Mutants attack its like every other mutant/zombie survival film. I missed the old days when it wasn't a big shoot em' up fest and you felt like you were there trying to survive. Now days it's like everything goes into action mode and nobody runs out of ammo. The SFX were pretty good and the acting was decent as well. I was suprised with Mr Quaid though. Finally he pulled the stick out of his ass and decided to play decent roles. I mean G.I. Joe will always be Ambers bane of life, but I felt he did a good job, and with Pandorum...well....it was like watching him in the 80s with Jaws 3, and Dreamscape. All in all folks Pandorum wasn't a bad flick at all, it just needed to lax off of the corny action thats all.
Overall rating ( * * * )
Mr. What?
Friday, September 18, 2009
Jennifer's Body (2009)
Starring: Megan Fox, Amanda Seyfried, Johnny Simmons, & Adam Brody
Directed by Karyn Kusama
Here's how to explain Jennifer's Body.... It's like Juno, but with a Horror movie twist. I shit you not. The only thing different is instead a little preggo chick being all indie rock we have a Mindless hot chick who has a craving for young men. All of the lingo, and Reff. to pop culture (Myspace, Maroon 5, Vagisil, and The Bowflex) were just the same as In Juno. Maybe because Diablo Cody wanted to write a horror film, but at times it got really fucking lame. It's bad enough I had to hear Juno repeated word for word by the bag kids at work, and now here is round 2. I wanna also say that if you're going to see this for Megan Fox, well........You're gonna be bummed. She doesn't get naked, and has a weird semi-lesbo scene but that's about it. OK, now with all of that aside, the movie wasn't that bad. Our tale takes place in a town called Devil's Kettle where ( of course ) Jennifer ( fox ) is being chased around by all of the boys at her school. Her BFF Needy ( Seyfied ) pampers to Jennifer's ego, and slut like lifestyle. They have been friends since the sandbox, and will be that way forever.......That Is.....Until one night the 2 girls head over to a Local bar to catch an EMO band from the city Called Low Shoulder. Trying to seduce the lead singer, Jennifer takes off in the van with the band and is gone into the night......The next morning everything seems OK but there's something different about Jennifer, and it's up to Needy to find out. The movie isn't that bad in parts, but has it's breaking points. For one there isn't any real gore. If I go to see an R rated movie that has the word Gore in the rating details, well.....then bring it on. Alot of cut aways, and cheap looking blood made me laugh. Another is the constant Diablo Cody lingo. I would love to meet Ms. Diablo and ask where the fuck she came up with this crappy lingo. I attended this movie with a bunch of HS aged kids, and after the film asked them what they liked and disliked. They (kids) liked the story and some humor, but got tired of the Terms and sayings used by the actors. They felt that it was another Juno sans the original feel. Another complaint I heard was about Megan Fox and her lack of acting. Listen man, we all know she is just a body and face for hollywood to market to girls and boys everywhere, so just go with it and laugh. Ms. Fox played the easy Slut real well, but didn't pull off anything else. I would've given this movie less stars, but man sometimes the humor was outstanding. I just wish Diablo could leave the corny teen logo somwhere else and try again.....
Overall Rating ( * * * )
Mr. What?
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Zombieland (2009)
Zombieland (2009)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1156398/
Director: Ruben Fleischer
Starring: Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Emma Stone & Abigail Breslin
So, the world has been overrun by zombies. The same old story we've heard a thousand times over. One of the pluses of this film is they decided to skip past how it happened and jump right into the thick of it. It begins with Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg) fighting off some zombies in small town Texas while stating his basic rules of survival that he has mapped out. He hits the road hoping to go back home and find his family. Along the way he runs into a hero after my own heart, Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson) in the best role he's played since Mickey in Natural Born Killers. The two team up and do some road trip zombie killin' in search of other survivors and twinkies. They run into a couple girls who fuck them over the way that women do time and time again.
This film is awesome. It gives you some good zombie blood and guts, lots of head smashes, full on comedic assault, all the action you need and the best damn cameo ever by Bill Murray. The only thing it lacked was a little more of the horror. Needed just a touch more suspense and thrills and it would have been a 5 * film. Out of all the films this Halloween season this seems the best to blow your bucks on. Hits theaters nationwide October 2nd. Mark your calenders, this is actually worth crawling out of your hole to go see.
Verdict: * * * * 1/2
- Al B. Damned
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1156398/
Director: Ruben Fleischer
Starring: Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Emma Stone & Abigail Breslin
So, the world has been overrun by zombies. The same old story we've heard a thousand times over. One of the pluses of this film is they decided to skip past how it happened and jump right into the thick of it. It begins with Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg) fighting off some zombies in small town Texas while stating his basic rules of survival that he has mapped out. He hits the road hoping to go back home and find his family. Along the way he runs into a hero after my own heart, Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson) in the best role he's played since Mickey in Natural Born Killers. The two team up and do some road trip zombie killin' in search of other survivors and twinkies. They run into a couple girls who fuck them over the way that women do time and time again.
This film is awesome. It gives you some good zombie blood and guts, lots of head smashes, full on comedic assault, all the action you need and the best damn cameo ever by Bill Murray. The only thing it lacked was a little more of the horror. Needed just a touch more suspense and thrills and it would have been a 5 * film. Out of all the films this Halloween season this seems the best to blow your bucks on. Hits theaters nationwide October 2nd. Mark your calenders, this is actually worth crawling out of your hole to go see.
Verdict: * * * * 1/2
- Al B. Damned
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Gamer (2009)
Starring: Gerard Butler, Michael C.Hall, John Leguizamo, Kyra Sedgwick, & Ludacris
Written and Directed by Brian Taylor & Mark Neveldine
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1034032/
Sorry this review is late, but I was really sick. Plus I didn't think Gamer would fit under the Outlaw Cinema criteria....I was wrong. If you liked Death Race, and Doomsday then you will love this flick. It has a revamped 70's Grindhouse feel like the the other two listed, oh and did I mention that the guys behind the Crank series wrote, and directed it? While alot of people loved what the Wachowski brothers did for Cinema with the Matrix saga, I favored the team of Taylor & Neveldine and their pure Crystal Meth fueled, Anarchy cinema classic Crank. My god when Chelios Fucked his girl in China Town.....Cinema Anarchy man... Gamer has the same feel. Gerard Butler has become the next big action hero, in my opinion. He has the Look, Body, Feel, and heart to fill in Ahnulds shoes. Yeah I said the same thing about The Rock, but Gerard was a total badass in 300, and when was the last time The Rock played one? Doom? Anyhow, here is the basic plot of the movie...GAMER is a high-concept action thriller set in a near future when gaming and entertainment have evolved into a terrifying new hybrid. Humans control other humans in mass-scale, multi-player online games: people play people...for keeps. Mind-control technology is widespread, and at the heart of the controversial games is its creator, reclusive billionaire Ken Castle (Michael C. Hall). His latest brainchild, the first-person shooter game "Slayers," allows millions to act out their most savage fantasies online in front of a global audience, using real prisoners as avatars with whom they fight to the death.
Kable (300's Gerard Butler) is the superstar and cult hero of the ultraviolent "Slayers." Kable is controlled by Simon, a young gamer with rock star status who continues to defy all odds by guiding Kable to victory each week. Taken from his family, imprisoned and forced to fight against his will, the modern day gladiator must survive long enough to escape the game to free his family, regain his identity and to save mankind from Castle's ruthless technology. And there you have it. Just like another film back in the day Called The Running Man. Yeah, it's kinda a ripoff of that, and some other movies, but at this point who the fuck cares? The acting is sub par in some scenes, but pretty decent in the next. At times the movie drags and sets you up for some obvious bloodshed, but once again who cares? Gamer is they type of movie that could be a huge summer hit, but then again could tank. I guess the only real bad thing I can say about Gamer, is the name itself. Gamer. When I hear that word I think of my ex-roommate who used to geek out to any Final Fantasy game, or WOW. Locked away in a room with hot pockets you alone must defend the realm from the evil orcs, or battle Sephiroph...which ever one comes first;) Yeah not a great title for the movie, but hey like I said before who the fuck cares?
Overall rating ( * * * )
Mr. What?
Written and Directed by Brian Taylor & Mark Neveldine
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1034032/
Sorry this review is late, but I was really sick. Plus I didn't think Gamer would fit under the Outlaw Cinema criteria....I was wrong. If you liked Death Race, and Doomsday then you will love this flick. It has a revamped 70's Grindhouse feel like the the other two listed, oh and did I mention that the guys behind the Crank series wrote, and directed it? While alot of people loved what the Wachowski brothers did for Cinema with the Matrix saga, I favored the team of Taylor & Neveldine and their pure Crystal Meth fueled, Anarchy cinema classic Crank. My god when Chelios Fucked his girl in China Town.....Cinema Anarchy man... Gamer has the same feel. Gerard Butler has become the next big action hero, in my opinion. He has the Look, Body, Feel, and heart to fill in Ahnulds shoes. Yeah I said the same thing about The Rock, but Gerard was a total badass in 300, and when was the last time The Rock played one? Doom? Anyhow, here is the basic plot of the movie...GAMER is a high-concept action thriller set in a near future when gaming and entertainment have evolved into a terrifying new hybrid. Humans control other humans in mass-scale, multi-player online games: people play people...for keeps. Mind-control technology is widespread, and at the heart of the controversial games is its creator, reclusive billionaire Ken Castle (Michael C. Hall). His latest brainchild, the first-person shooter game "Slayers," allows millions to act out their most savage fantasies online in front of a global audience, using real prisoners as avatars with whom they fight to the death.
Kable (300's Gerard Butler) is the superstar and cult hero of the ultraviolent "Slayers." Kable is controlled by Simon, a young gamer with rock star status who continues to defy all odds by guiding Kable to victory each week. Taken from his family, imprisoned and forced to fight against his will, the modern day gladiator must survive long enough to escape the game to free his family, regain his identity and to save mankind from Castle's ruthless technology. And there you have it. Just like another film back in the day Called The Running Man. Yeah, it's kinda a ripoff of that, and some other movies, but at this point who the fuck cares? The acting is sub par in some scenes, but pretty decent in the next. At times the movie drags and sets you up for some obvious bloodshed, but once again who cares? Gamer is they type of movie that could be a huge summer hit, but then again could tank. I guess the only real bad thing I can say about Gamer, is the name itself. Gamer. When I hear that word I think of my ex-roommate who used to geek out to any Final Fantasy game, or WOW. Locked away in a room with hot pockets you alone must defend the realm from the evil orcs, or battle Sephiroph...which ever one comes first;) Yeah not a great title for the movie, but hey like I said before who the fuck cares?
Overall rating ( * * * )
Mr. What?
Sorority Row ( 2009 )
Starring: Margo Harshman, Rumer Willis, Jaime Chung, Leah Pipes, & Audrina Patridge
Directed By Stewart Hendler
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah I've heard all of the same BS from everybody. "this movie sucked, Ugh another dumb slasher flick?, Man are they ever going to do anything original?" Typical complaints from the same type of crowd, but what if we, as a collective could just tune them out? Would that make you want to see this? I did, and honestly liked it. Sorority Row is nothing new and amazing, but holds it own in a Grindhouse way. There are plenty of Boobs and Gore, but it's the attitude and guts this movie has that made me like it. The plot is simple, and we've seen it before. A group of sorority sisters try to cover up the death of their house-sister after a prank gone wrong, only to be stalked by a serial killer.
Yeah Just like IKWYDLS and kind like Black X-mas combined, but not as lame and cheesy.
Gone are the 90's aspects of These types of horror movies. Famous faces using a genre of film to boost their market value. I mean c'mon Scream and IKWYDLS almost killed the horror movie all together. Sorority Row however, has this kinda Fuck it attitude and keeps it running throughout the whole movie. The gore isn't hard core Like Rob Zombie's Halloween, but at times it gets the point made. I really liked the characters in this movie too. I live in a college town and have to reside next to the type of bitches played in this movie, so seeing them on the bigscreen being made fun of....well made me laugh. ESP. the character of Chugs (harshman). This chick is such an exaxct replica of my neighbor it's scary. At times though, it was a little much with the constant "sister this and sister that". I know it's about a bunch of Sorority sisters, but hey enough with the sister talk. The acting was so-so, but Rumer Willis suprised me. The daughter of Demi Moore and Bruce Willis really brought some sort of dignity to the film. She didn't run around sreaming and crying, No....she actually showed a badass side of herself. Imagine brawling like dad, but looking like a clone of mom...complete with the husky voice. Yeah just for the near nude shot of her made me laugh. I looked behind me and saw 8 12 year olds in awe of her body;) Yeah guys this movie wasn't bad. If you have a chance to see it during econo time then deff. go! I still think the naysayers need to shut their fucking trap. So it's a another slasher flick? I give this more credit than that played out FD4, or the shitty SAW franchise..........
Overall rating ( * * * )
Mr. What?
Thursday, September 10, 2009
The Haunted World Of Elsuperbeasto ( 2009 )
Starring the voices of : Tom Pappa, Sheri Moon Zombie, Danny Trejo, Rosario Dawson, & Paul Giamatti
Written And Directed by Rob Zombie & Mr. Lawrence
OK some of you will hate this movie, while some of you will love it. First off if you like Ren and Stimpy and Heavy Metal, then this is for you. Now if you're a cartoon geek who can dictate and deliver lines from obscure Japanese 90's toons, then you will hate this. I guess it's one of those movies that fall right in the middle. Almost any movie that Rob Zombie deals with has the same outcome. Some Love it, and some hate it. Same with this. In my opinion it's just a raunchy cartoon that made me laugh, nothing more. I wasn't expecting anything less. Based on the comic book of the same name our story takes place in the world of Monsterland. El Superbeasto ( Pappa ) is an ex Luchador that is washed and past his time. Not that it matters though. Armed with his sexy sister Sidekick Suzi X ( Moon Zombie ) the two do battle with a sleazy character named Dr. Satan ( Giamatti ) who wants to rule monsterland with the help of Miss Velvet Von Black ( Dawson ). Yeah, nothing for real content, and a corny plot, but c'mon it's A Rob Zombie cartoon.....What the fuck did you expect? I liked it though. Once again it was nice to see somthing for Adults and not dumb kids. I only had a couple of gripes though. First, we have a reunion of sorts with Rob Zombie characters from other movies. Capt. Spaulding, Otis, and even Banjo & Sullivan show up, but Dr. Satan looks stupid and nothing like the HO1000C version. I would've loved to see that savage fucker brought to life via animation!!!! The second is the illustrations. There was a HUGE difference between the comic, and this animated version. Maybe they thought it would be too offsetting for some viewers. Like I said before, if you loved Ren & Stimpy, then put mass boobs, sex, and cussing into that mix and this is what you got. All in all though, it reminded me of a Juiced up Fritz The Cat.
Overall rating ( * * * )
Mr. What?
Saturday, August 29, 2009
The Final Destination ( 2009 )
Starring: Bobby Campo, Nick Zano, Justin Welborn, & Haley Webb
Directed By David R. Ellis
This movie fucking sucked. Everything about it was a goddamn Joke. The acting, The kills, The audience, fucking everything. It was like babysitting 219 EMO kids who couldn't stop txting and running around. The whole scene was a disgrace to moviegoers and so was the film itself. I can't fucking fathom why some retard would make another FD, when the last one was a total fucking bomb. At least H2 had Zombie to back it up, but what does this horseshit have? Lame actors with terrible acting skills, cheesy fx, and downright stupid kills. The writting on this was a cross between a blind person with the heroin shakes, and a transgender weatherman. IT MADE NO FUCKING SENSE!!!!!!! OK so this time, we're at a racetrack (yeah I know) and BOOM! same fucking plot as the last 3, but this time they have a person who can guide the survivors to a possible second chance...no shit. Just like the other 3, people die, the crowd cheers, people txt friends 4 seats away, and everybody leaves happy. Not me. How the fuck can people just write this movie off as "well at least they got what they want" who is they? The fucking tweens who sneek into movies and ruin it for everybody? Or is it the crowd who bash on H2 but turn around and hail this as a breath of fresh air?!?!?! Look folks, if you like the FD franchise then you might like this one, but if you want to see something that might make you think, then stay away from this shitbag.
Overall review ( * )
Mr. What?
Halloween 2 (2009)
Starring: Malcolm McDowell, Tyler Mane, Brad Douriff, Scout Taylor-Compton, & Sherri Moon Zombie.
Written and Directed By Rob Zombie
If you like ANYTHING Rob has done (music, movies, art,) then you will like this movie. However, if you want something Epic and cutting edge, well............fuck off and go home.
H2 appeals to the side of you that craves violence and unrest. I watched this movie Twice and left both times grinning ear to ear hearing people complain "what was that?" "OMG that was just too much", "fucking lame man", "DUDE LETS SMOKE A BOWL", "what was with the White Horse?!?!", and so on. These were real comments from movie goers.
I felt the movie was everything one can expect from Rob, but also felt that as a whole most movie goers have become too snotty for their own good. It's these uptight pricks that ruin movies for everybody else. Have you ever been dying to see a movie, and then have some nitwit walk by you and yell out "THIS MOVIE SUCKS"? Well if you have, those folks hated it, but people like me, and you the reader, will really dig this flick............Our story takes place 1 year later. Lori (Taylor-Compton) is an emotional wreck who now resides with Sheriff Brackett and his Daughter Annie (Douriff,Harris) who also survived Michael's wrath, and has some nasty nightmares. As expected Michael returns in a violent and Bloody fashion, displaying a much more nastier side of MM that we have ever seen before. The film at times takes a break and shows MM mom Deborah Myers (Moon Zombie) in spirit form talking to Michael. This new twist is what I think throws people off. Anytime you put Psychosis into a movie and try not to be too cheesy, people laugh it off, or complain about it. For H2, it seemed that most of the folks didn't understand what was going on, but maybe if "they" could stop fucking texting, talking, or running around the theater, then maybe "they" would understand what was fucking going on..........So as Micheal walks back to Haddonfield, killing people along the way Dr. Loomis happens to be in town pushing his new book "The Devil Walks Among Us". Throughout the movie Loomis (McDowell) comes of as an English Snarky Prick (which he has become) cashing in on the fame while trying to seem empathetic to the families involved. I really like how Malcolm McDowell turned Dr. Loomis into a total asshole who deserves to die. There is on scene where Dr. Loomis runs into a nasty situation and yells to Sheriff Brackett "let me do this!! I owe you that" Considering what kind off hell Loomis caused everybody, it seemed fitting. Gone is the original panic and pain to the original Loomis, make way for a more real typical nowadays shrink........... As you can guess, lots of blood and nasty gore takes place, but there was something a little more uneasy. That would be Michael Myers. In case none of you read Rob Z's interview about H2, Rob stated that this was not a remake of Halloween 2, but something totally different. With Michael Myers he nailed it. MM is now more menacing than before, much, much, MUCH, more violent with the kills. Watching MM stab with such force and hatred made me uneasy. Also we hear MM grunt and groan when he kills or destroys walls or windows. I was hated these movies where the killer never made a sound when he killed or, broke shit. Not here though. It adds a certain feel that I can't explain. it was very violent, but yet almost human like. The biggest thing about Michael was his size. You really didn't see much of it in the first one, other than the Mental Institute. Here though, we See Tyler Mane Looming over everybody and destroying people at will like a man of his size would do............Look guys I could go on and on about this movie so let me just say this, If you want a Good movie with lots of violence, and disturbing Images, then go see this...
Overall Rating ( * * * * )
Mr. What?
Friday, August 21, 2009
Inglourious Basterds (2009)
Starring: Brad Pitt, Eli Roth, Christoph Waltz, Diane Kruger & Till Schweiger
Directed By Quentin Tarantino
YES!!!!!!!! Finally a War movie that doesn't bore me to death. I grew up watching The Dirty Dozen, and the Great Escape with my dad. We would always cheer when Nazis died, and felt a little more prouder to be American after viewing them. Recently war movies have become boring and to political for me. Yeah shit goes KABOOM! and people die, but I'm not going to feel all depressed after seeing it. This movie made me stand up afterwards and clap. It had it all, Blood & Gore, carnage, comedy, Revenge Killing, and an awesome fucking ending. If you have ever wondered what it would be like to see The Dirty Dozen mixed with a Grindhouse flick, then you are in for a treat! The only problem I have with Tarantino flims is the Fanboys. Which to me, are typically White, Loud Mouthed, Overweight, obnoxious motherfuckers who ruin movies. I feel that if I pay money to see a movie, you don't need some asshole who runs a shitty record store with mommy and daddy by day, and plays in a shitty punk band at night, gabbing through the whole thing. Well folks, I had to deal with it, but you know what? I was more intrigued with the other crowd......Senior Citizens....Yep, Old Folks. I saw More walkers and elderly folks than I did at the King Kong Remake 4 years ago.
I guess they wanted to see Nazi Scum Die one more time before they (old People) died. So here is the story Line in a Nutshell........In Nazi-occupied France during World War II, a group of Jewish-American soldiers known as "The Basterds" are chosen specifically to spread fear throughout the Third Reich by scalping and brutally killing Nazis. The Basterds soon cross paths with a French-Jewish teenage girl who runs a movie theater in Paris which is targeted by the soldiers...............Yeah and thats just a tip of the ice berg. Brad Pitt does an amazing Job Playing Lt. Aldo Raine. A man hellbent one thing and one thing only...Killing Nazis. Lt. Raine also demands 100 nazi scalps per man in his unit, oh and he will get his scalps....I mean, How the fuck can you go wrong with a guy like that??? Eli Roth must've had some penned up agression in this movie playing Sgt, Donny Donowitz or better named The Bear Jew by the Germans. To see Donny whack skulls like Ted Williams, was amazing...Imagine the gruesomeness of Hostel in a non EMO War movie!!!!! I must say that my Favorite guys was Sgt. Hugo Stiglitz played by Till Schweiger. Hugo turned against the Germans and killed a grip of higher commanders, only to be picked up the Basterds for their mission...Many of you might remember Till from SLC Punk as the paranoid Weed dealer who lost his family in a plane crash. My god watching him try to sit next to nazis on an undercover mission was fucking awesome.....wow....all in all this movie was long and had your typical Tarantino build up and finish, but it wasn't weak, or overdrawn in any way. Oh and yes Mike Myers makes a cameo in makeup, but compared to Tom Cruise last summer in Tropic Thunder, Myers looked...well, like an older version of himself. Man If you want to see an awesome double feature I would suggest this and District 9, they both seem to finally make summer movies worth seeing...sometimes twice;)
Overall rating ( * * * * * )
Mr. What?
Saturday, August 15, 2009
The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard (2009)
Starring: Jeremy Piven, Ving Rhames, James Brolin, David Koechner, Kathryn Hahn< Ed Helms, & Rob Riggle
Directed by Neal Brennan
First things first. I'm not a Jeremy Piven fan. He reminds me of that snarky guy in Highschool who always had some smartass shit to say, but when he went to far with insults or attitude, was always backing up trying to talk his way out. I only liked one movie of Mr. Pivens, and that was nothing more than a lame 90's college flick (PCU).
This time however, Jeremy has got my vote.......................Piven stars as Don Ready, a smooth talking car salesman who is so pimp, that he lights up a cigarette on a plane, and turns the flight into one big orgy. Campy, I know, but hey it's a great way to start the movie. Don is caslled to Temecula CA to save a Family owned carlot from going under.
armed with his "team" Jibby (rhames) who has slept with thousands of women, but never made love, Brent (Koechner) who is don's right hand man, and who become involved in a running gay joke that never gets old, and Babs (Hahn) the hilarious foul mouthed sex appeal. ................When the crew arrives to help out Selleck Motors, the crude humor ensues........Ben (brolin) has a gay crush on Brent, Don wants to nail bens daughter, and Babs falls for a 10 year old boy in a 40 year olds(riggle) body......Yeah I don't want to give that away, but it's really fucking funny. The side players in this movie are what made it funny for me. Oh, and also having the car lot being called a "Refugee camp for dirty men" helped out with the tone. I would say that the Character of Charles Napier, an older salesman who longs for the older days when being sexist and racist was an everyday way life, was mine, and the crowds favorite. I guess there is something about an older man who screams queer, and bitch and uses the F word at will, VERY FUNNY!.................Along the way we find out that if Don and the crew don't sell every car on the lot, then the lot will be sold to a local competitor who will use it for practice space for his 30 year old sons Boy Band, who opened for O-town.....Yeah no shit......If you want Foul Mouthed Humor, NON PC humor, and a great laugh, then go see this movie.
Overall rating ( * * * )
Mr. What?
District 9 (2009)
Starring: Sharlto Copley, Jason Cope, Nathalie Boltt, & John Summer
Directed by Neill Blomkamp
Holy Fuck. I witnessed a true 5 star movie (in my view at least). Everything about this movie got solid 10's. The directing, acting, Vibe, & Story, are just some of the many high points for this film. When I attended this movie the theater was 1/2 full of people, but before the first preview, it was packed. I glanced around and saw just about every skin color, and walk of life in the crowd. I felt then that we were all in for something grand, and this movie didn't let anybody down.....................So our story takes place in Johannesburg South Africa where 20 years ago, a Huge ship just seemed to stop and hover above the city. With no movement or any sort of signs of life, the government just let it sit. After some time the Military opens the ship up and finds a race of Starving and sick aliens. So to cut the fat The government puts the aliens into an area called District 9, which over time turns into a ghetto................over the next 20 years we see the crime rate go up, Mistreatment, and Blatent discrimination to the Aliens reach a dangerous high. I really liked how the aliens were nothing more than a race of creatures that ate garbage, lived life, and got kinda high off of catfood. When we get the current day it is absolute filth. The aliens live in a ghetto run by Militants who control District 9's underground crime ring. It's all there drug abuse (though not really mentioned) Prostitution, Theft, Assault, and Other nasty ghetto like traits. The aliens are so poor and down, that they resort to trading weapons for cat food and cattle heads to eat. The only thing is, humans can't make the alien weapons to work...................So, to keep control of the aliens the government contracts them out to a private company called Multi-National United, which has no intrest at all in the treatment, or rights of the aliens. It is held from the public that MNU's true purpose is to make the alien weapons work, which they have failed. Now trim even more fat, MNU decides to evict ALL of the aliens in District 9 into a concentration camp, and try to find more weapons. So an agent is sent in to evict everybody. While in District 9 The said agent comes into contact with something that alters his DNA and makes him become part alien and part human. Needless to say he is now the most wanted man in the country, and must team up with the aliens to figure out a way for them to get back home and make him normal again........................That folks is an epic movie. I was so enthralled with it that I totally ignored anybody around me and just watched. The Documentary style of shooting gave everything a very sureal feeling. I felt like I was back in my old Neighborhood in Portland OR, and at the same time Like my current Neighborhood. Is that saying that i'm white trash, or a parasite? Thats exactly how these aliens were meant to feel, and for what? Getting stuck somewhere they didn't want to be? I also thought the Hatred twords the aliens was accepted by everyone, thus the nickname the aliens were given. Prawns. That name alone denotes low order of the foodchain..............Man I could go on and on, but I wont. If you have a chance to see this movie, then due so. It has alot of violence and gore, but you get stuck into the movie that it all seems to fit perfect into the flow.
Overall rating ( * * * * * )
Mr. What?
Saturday, August 8, 2009
A Perfect Getaway ( 2009 )
Starring: Steve Zahn, Milla Jovovich, Timothy Olyphant & Kiele Sanchez
Directed By David Twohy
FINALLY...... A movie that didn't get as much hype as others, but knocked em out all the same. I will admit at first I was a little timid about seeing this, but after forking over 30 bucks on 3 shitty films, what more did I have left to lose? Other than more money;)
Here is the basic plot.....Two pairs of lovers (Zahn & Jovovich, Olyphant & Sanchez) on a Hawaiian vacation discover that psychopaths are stalking and murdering tourists on the islands. I'm sure you'e all seen the commercials, and such. Trust me this movie is a 2 thumbs up flick. The settings, scares, and ending are worth the ticket price, but so is another aspect. The Hitchcock feel.
I enjoyed sitting in my seat the and didn't feel twitchy, or bored. the pace and feel kept me intrigued, but the constant "who the fuck is doing this" and paranoia had me guessing. It was like actually being on vacation with my wife and another couple and being stalked. I'd Imagine. The only reason I didn't give this another star was because the first 15 minutes seemed to drag a little bit, but when it got moving, IT GOT MOVING.
In closing I want to recomend this movie to anybody who wants a real horror feel and not some CG monster.
Overall rating ( * * * 1/2 )
-Mr. What?-
G.I. Joe ( 2009 )
Starring: Dennis Quaid, Sienna Miller, Ray Park, Marlon Wayans & Channing Tatum
Directed By Stephen Sommers
Yeah I paid to see this movie, and was not let down. Unlike the last 3 movies I reviewed which were nothing more than wallet drainers, this one lived up to my expectations. Non stop action, cheesy plot, and big BOOMS were aplenty. Yes Marlon Wayans is playing a character from the show who was white, big fucking deal. Yes the story is lame compared to District 9, but goddamn it look what show it's based after! Not offend the Transformer cult, but I watched both shows as a kid, and favored G.I. Joe just because of the high impact ( Sorry liberal kids, I'm an American and love guns ) weapons.
So on with the show.... Here is the basic plot from what I gathered....An elite military unit comprised of special operatives known as G.I. Joe, operating out of The Pit, takes on an evil organization led by a notorious arms dealer.
Fine thats it. From here on out it's what any fan would expect, and thats the way it should be. Where transformers seemed to be nothing more than a sappy emo robot disaster flick, this is just a live action version of the cartoon. Some of the Joe team members Look different than the show, but are just as badass. My favorite like millions of others is Snake Eyes, just because of the look and feel from the show, sans his sidekick wolf. I do however think that Channing Tatum was a terrible choice for Duke and can only hope that if there is a sequel, that Mr. Sommers will get a better actor than Mummy Tatum.
Before any of you say a fucking word about how it looks, or how lame it seems, please do me a favor and shut the fuck up. This is a movie you have to watch and have fun with! Our economy sucks, and Our president is getting a low approval rating, so why not watch so non stop action and just have fun? After watching Funny People, I deff. needed to see something like this!
Overall rating ( * * * )
-Mr. What?-
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Funny People ( 2009 )
Starring: Adam Sandler, Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill, Eric Bana & Jason Schwartzman
Directed by Judd Apatow
DO NOT let the title of this movie fool you. It has funny people in it, but thats about all you're gonna get. The running time for this movie did not help considering how slllllloooooooowwwwwww paced and emo it was.
Our story involves a big movie star named George Simmons. We learn that George (Sandler) has a rare disease and can't be cured with anyhting but experimental medication from Canada. Now enter Ira Wright. Ira (Rogen) is a struggling Improv comedian who works in a Deli and sleeps on his roommates couch.
One night during a show George shows up to do some improv and totally bombs. Ira follows up George's act and lights up George with some decent insults. After hearing this, and having a small run in with Ira, George asks Ira to write jokes for him. After some terrible scenes that just seemed to drag on, and on we learn that George might be cured of his disease. Get this folks....this all happens with over an hour of the film left.
To me this is one main problem with the movie. It never really got going and just limped along with limited reults. You never get to see the full potential of ANY OF THE CAST MEMBERS!!!!! For fucks sake it's got Jonah Hill, and Seth Rogen in it! Neither of the 2 seemed happy with the role, and never got to show how good they are. There are a couple of scenes with some decent one liners and good slams, but that gets put into the back seat for George's ongoing drama.
I really had expected more. You got a solid stable full of FUNNY PEOPLE, but it turns out to be a fucking Dramedy. No hardcore laughs, dragging plot line, and a fucking lame Trip to Northern California ruined this movie for me. I would say to Mr. Apatow that he needs to ditch the drama bullshit and stick to comedy.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1201167/
Overall rating ( * * )
-Mr. What?-
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince (2009)
Director: David Yates
Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Helena Bonham Carter & Alan Rickman
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0417741/
Another Harry Potter movie. This is his 6th year at Hogwarts. As usual the school year starts out with some shit going down and hte headmaster pulls him in and fills his head with some shit about him being the chosen one.
Once at school he finds a book once owned by the mysterious "Half Blood Prince" filled in with lots of hand-written notes that make Harry into the little bad-ass. Shit happens, evil comes, someone dies, etc, etc.
All in all, it's a fun movie. The whole series is great, don't get me wrong. It just seems that after so much time you would hope for a twist somewhere... instead we get everything we expect. Which is nice... but I want more. You know what to expect and that kind of takes away from the fun of the movie. I hope for some big changes in the series future.
Final Verdict: * * * 1/2
- Al B. Damned
Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Helena Bonham Carter & Alan Rickman
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0417741/
Another Harry Potter movie. This is his 6th year at Hogwarts. As usual the school year starts out with some shit going down and hte headmaster pulls him in and fills his head with some shit about him being the chosen one.
Once at school he finds a book once owned by the mysterious "Half Blood Prince" filled in with lots of hand-written notes that make Harry into the little bad-ass. Shit happens, evil comes, someone dies, etc, etc.
All in all, it's a fun movie. The whole series is great, don't get me wrong. It just seems that after so much time you would hope for a twist somewhere... instead we get everything we expect. Which is nice... but I want more. You know what to expect and that kind of takes away from the fun of the movie. I hope for some big changes in the series future.
Final Verdict: * * * 1/2
- Al B. Damned
The Wizard Of Gore (2007) DVD
Director: Jeremy Kasten
Starring: Crispen Glover, Brad Dourif, Jeffrey Combs & The Suicide Girls
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0765487/
Well shit... another re-make. But still with the names attached you expect a little more. Montague The Magnificent (Played by Crispen Glover) is a "Magician" killing people on stage and then after the "illusion" is over everyone witnesses them get up and leave the club all fine and dandy. Only to be found dead later exactly like they were killed on stage.
Crispen Glover was not as awesome as I had hoped. He can be so creepy when he wants. He shows up on stage as a bad televangelist type. Jeffrey Combs is unrecognizable. Every scene with Brad Dourif is awesome. He just kicks so much ass you can't turn away.
But still all the kick-ass actors and the awesome amounts of nudity don't really help. The movie is kinda cool and has it's moments but will never compare to the artistry of the H.G Lewis original.
Plus side though it has a shit-ton of special features. Commentary with the director, writer producer and ass. editor. A Making of featurette, Effects featurette, Suicide Girls featurette, deleted scenes, outtakes and more.
Final Verdict ( * * * )
- Al B. Damned
Starring: Crispen Glover, Brad Dourif, Jeffrey Combs & The Suicide Girls
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0765487/
Well shit... another re-make. But still with the names attached you expect a little more. Montague The Magnificent (Played by Crispen Glover) is a "Magician" killing people on stage and then after the "illusion" is over everyone witnesses them get up and leave the club all fine and dandy. Only to be found dead later exactly like they were killed on stage.
Crispen Glover was not as awesome as I had hoped. He can be so creepy when he wants. He shows up on stage as a bad televangelist type. Jeffrey Combs is unrecognizable. Every scene with Brad Dourif is awesome. He just kicks so much ass you can't turn away.
But still all the kick-ass actors and the awesome amounts of nudity don't really help. The movie is kinda cool and has it's moments but will never compare to the artistry of the H.G Lewis original.
Plus side though it has a shit-ton of special features. Commentary with the director, writer producer and ass. editor. A Making of featurette, Effects featurette, Suicide Girls featurette, deleted scenes, outtakes and more.
Final Verdict ( * * * )
- Al B. Damned
Saturday, July 25, 2009
The Orphan ( 2009 )
Directed by Jaume Collet-Sera
Stars: Vera Farmiga, Peter Sarsgaard, Isabelle Fuhrman, & Jimmy Bennett.
I'm going to lazy about this review. At the time I saw this movie it seemed like another borderline PG-13, R rating. I was half right. OK loyal readers as always here is the plot line.....
A husband and wife who recently lost their baby adopt a 9-year-old girl who is not nearly as innocent as she claims to be.
Wasn't there a flick in the 90's similar to this? Kinda. I'll admit I for one was not stoked to watch this. It looked like The Good Son with a little girl instead of the kid from Home Alone. I was, once again, half right.
So as expected a family adopts the little girl and she is a total psycho..Kinda. People die, no body listens to the person who might know the truth. Kinda. Blah, Blah, Blah.... I have no idea why anybody would give this movie more thn 2 stars. The acting is so so, The deaths are Gruesome, and there is a little twist involved.
It was ok if you like your horror light and kinda weird, but if you want something different and outstanding, then go see the Jim Rose Circus.
Overall rating ( * * )
Mr. What?
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Public Enemies (2009)
Stars: Johnny Depp, Christian Bale, Stephen Dorff & Channing Tatum
Directed By Michael Mann
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1152836/
The Feds try to take down notorious American gangsters John Dillinger, Baby Face Nelson and Pretty Boy Floyd during a booming crime wave in the 1930s.
So there you go as far as the plot. Johnny Depp plays Dillinger as well as could be expected. At times it seemed as if he got bored with the role or a bit frustrated with it. The other actors and actresses seemed to be into the project, but Depp just didn't look all to thrilled. The feel of the movie at times felt like a film school project. I don't know what Mann was going for with the camera work, but 3/4 of the movie felt like some guy with a hand held camcorder was trying to film this while riding a bike intoxicated.
Set in the depression era, Dillenger (Depp) is robbing banks and throwing his middle finger up at the law. Now enter Melvin Purvis. A tough FBI agent hell bent on bringing down Organized crime. After a promotion Purvis(Bale) is given the daunting task of overseeing the crime soaked city of Chicago. So as you can imagine tons of shots are fired and people die, while Dillinger escapes making Purvis and the FBI look like the keystone cops.
I really enjoyed the sets, and the dirty feel of Chicago. The movement of the film at times seemed to drag on and on. The scenes with Dillinger and his flock of friends was just too much talk and not enough action. Also, it seemed like the supporting players kept the movie going when Depp was just there.
As far as a gangster flick goes though, it was awesome. The gunfights, outfits, seedy backstabbing people all around, and so on.... I felt like a kid watching a classic film on the big screen, but that would subside when we had to watch Depp babble on and on for minutes...
If you want to see a decent flim with shoddy camer work ten this is for you. If you want to see Depp pull off another great performance though, stay away from this movie. Maybe if Danny Elfman and Tim Burton were involved with the project Mr. Depp would've more of a performance.
Overall rating (* * *)
-Mr. What?-
Directed By Michael Mann
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1152836/
The Feds try to take down notorious American gangsters John Dillinger, Baby Face Nelson and Pretty Boy Floyd during a booming crime wave in the 1930s.
So there you go as far as the plot. Johnny Depp plays Dillinger as well as could be expected. At times it seemed as if he got bored with the role or a bit frustrated with it. The other actors and actresses seemed to be into the project, but Depp just didn't look all to thrilled. The feel of the movie at times felt like a film school project. I don't know what Mann was going for with the camera work, but 3/4 of the movie felt like some guy with a hand held camcorder was trying to film this while riding a bike intoxicated.
Set in the depression era, Dillenger (Depp) is robbing banks and throwing his middle finger up at the law. Now enter Melvin Purvis. A tough FBI agent hell bent on bringing down Organized crime. After a promotion Purvis(Bale) is given the daunting task of overseeing the crime soaked city of Chicago. So as you can imagine tons of shots are fired and people die, while Dillinger escapes making Purvis and the FBI look like the keystone cops.
I really enjoyed the sets, and the dirty feel of Chicago. The movement of the film at times seemed to drag on and on. The scenes with Dillinger and his flock of friends was just too much talk and not enough action. Also, it seemed like the supporting players kept the movie going when Depp was just there.
As far as a gangster flick goes though, it was awesome. The gunfights, outfits, seedy backstabbing people all around, and so on.... I felt like a kid watching a classic film on the big screen, but that would subside when we had to watch Depp babble on and on for minutes...
If you want to see a decent flim with shoddy camer work ten this is for you. If you want to see Depp pull off another great performance though, stay away from this movie. Maybe if Danny Elfman and Tim Burton were involved with the project Mr. Depp would've more of a performance.
Overall rating (* * *)
-Mr. What?-
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