Sunday, October 24, 2010

Paranormal Activity 2 ( 2010 )

Starring: Cast Not listed.

Directed by Tod Williams

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1536044/


     This Movie was Terrible.  I don't care if you consider yourself a Horror fan or not, Paranormal Activity 2 is nothing more than another way for Hollywood to jack your cash.
Despite the obvious ass kissing from USA Today, and Entertainment Weekly PA2 is a complete let down and should be burned.  Save your money folks, because this movie is a not worth your cash.

     As with any low budget sequel you almost expect it to fail, and fail it did.  It took almost a solid hour for ANYTHING to happen.  Yeah, yeah, the spooooooky thumps are there, but where is the creepiness from the first movie?  In PA1 we were treated to tons of stuff going on at night throughout the movie.  With PA2 we are forced to sit through a dull and very slow start.  There were more scenes in daylight than there were at night.

    
     What really chapped my ass was the "prequel" pitch.  OOOOOOOOOO so Katie is in this one.  Big Fu*king deal.  Must be nice to go back and make it seem like Katie and her husbands demise coincide with the "new" haunting from what seems to be the same demon.  Lame.  What was also lame was the amount of time spent trying to set up any sort of story.  At one point the teenage daughter is talking with dad about the possibility of a ghost, and suggests it might be her mom.  WTF?!?!  so the woman that just had the baby isn't her real mom?!?!?!  Ugh..

     Before I go on let me at least tell you about the "story" After experiencing what they think are a series of "break-ins", a family sets up security cameras around their home, only to realize that the events unfolding before them are more sinister than they seem.

     Don't buy into this load of Garbage.  Like I said, the scares were waaaaay weaker than the first, the story is so far fetched and rushed I swore it was wrote by a 1,000 angry tweeters, and to be honest, it shouldn't have been rated R.  I can understand the need to at least see PA2 and rate it to the first one, but if you can pirate a copy and save some money do that instead.

     Overall this was not worth the price of admission and should be removed from the Theaters before it makes more people feel cheated.

Mr. What?  ( no stars )

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Jackass 3D ( 2010 )

Starring: Johnny Knoxville, Bam Margera, Steve-O, Spike Jonze, Chris Pontius, Jason Acuña, Preston Lacy, Ryan Dunn, Dave England, Ehren McGhehey, & Jeff Tremaine

Directed By Jeff Tremaine

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1116184/


     *Before I give my review Let me say this........  If you didn't really like the shows, or either movie, then you will not like this one as well. If you are offended by full frontal Male Nudity, a Penis cam, Wicked stunts, and cruel pranks, then go see Secretariat.*


     Knoxville and the boys are at it again, for what could be the final installment of Jackass movies.  If this is the case, they ended it on a solid note.  The stunts, pranks, and pervasivity of the this movie were far more fun and shocking.  Not so much poo and potty play this time around though, instead we are treated to men in their late 30's/ early 40's going all out and trying to end the series on a great scale.

     All the cast members are back, (so nobody was absent from the mayhem) everybody had at least 2 to 3 home run skits,  and we finally get to see Pontius expose his "manhood".  Absent was the drag in the film where the guys just stuffed filler into the mix to make the 90 minute running time.  Also, the pranks were a lot more funny and violent.  I really enjoyed the Bam snake pit.  If you've seen the second one, you know how he hates snakes;)

     I was a little off put with the absence of Party Boy.  I felt that there has to be some country or state that he could still mess with and not be noticed.  The only bad part about the screening was the crowd.  We had drunks who threw up on people, and brought tons of bottles into the theater.  Sorry kids, but we feel that if you wanna see a movies "faded" do it in your car before the movie, and not in the theater.

     Folks, there's nothing more really to say without sounding pretentious.  Do yourself a FAVOR AND SEE THIS MOVIE AS MUCH AS YOU CAN, OR AFFORD, YOU WILL NOT BE LET DOWN!!!!!!

Mr. What? ( * * * * )

Saturday, October 9, 2010

My Soul To Take ( 2010 )

Starring: Max Thieriot, John Magaro, Denzel Whitaker, Zena Grey, Nick Lashaway, Paulina Olszynski, Jeremy Chu, & Emily Meade

Written and Directed by Wes Craven

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0872230/

   
      Finally, Wes Craven is back.  Sort of.  My Soul To Take isn't as groundbreaking as say, Last House On The Left or Nightmare on Elm Street, but it has it's own quality about it that makes for a fun time at the movies.  Like many other people I was getting tired of Mr. Craven releasing his earlier works to be Remade.  With the exception of maybe one remake, the rest were just awful.  I hated Last House On The Left, Couldn't stand Nightmare ( except for Jackie Earle Haley ) and felt cheated that Wes wasn't doing anything new.  I was Wrong.

     My Soul To Take has been hyped up non stop, but with a twist.  The commercials made it look like an updated version of Scream.  Well people, THAT IS NOT THE CASE.  The trailers are very misleading, and kinda geared for that scream crowd, but trust me, it's not.  The first 20 minutes can be a bit confusing, but hang in there and pay attention, you won't be let down.  Well, unless you have no brain or no sense of originality.

     Oh the story?  In the sleepy town of Riverton, legend tells of a serial killer who swore he would return to murder the seven children born the night he died. Now, 16 years later, people are disappearing again. Has the psychopath been reincarnated as one of the seven teens, or did he survive the night he was left for dead? Only one of the kids knows the answer. Adam "Bug" Heller (Max Thieriot) was supposed to die on the bloody night his father went insane. Unaware of his dad's terrifying crimes, he has been plagued by nightmares since he was a baby. But if Bug hopes to save his friends from the monster that's returned, he must face an evil that won't rest...until it finishes the job it began the day he was born. 

     And there you have it.  Surprisingly, the story isn't as cheesy at it sounds, and keeps you guessing until the end.  There were also some subtle nods to previous Wes Craven movies ( Last House, and nightmare ) but not so much that it would seem tacky.  The only bad thing about My Soul To Take ( if there was any ) is the 3D.  I know why the studio pushed for 3D, but this movie didn't really need it.  The 3D was almost non existent, and having those dumb fucking glasses on my face for almost 2 hrs got annoying, but the story kept me glued.

     Overall, the movie was great but the 3D was very lame and distracting.  Can't wait to see it again without the glasses.

Mr. What?  ( * * * )

Monday, October 4, 2010

Case 39 ( 2010 )

Starring: Bradley Cooper, Renée Zellweger, Jodelle Ferland, Ian McShane, & Adrian Lester

Directed by Christian Alvart

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0795351/


     To say that Case 39 is misleading, is to put things lightly.  C39 is what i hate about modern "Horror" movies.  There was nothing Horror about it, and it to call it a Horror Movie is insulting to the very term Horror Movie.  It was dull, drawn out, slow moving throughout, and had zero connection with an audience.  I felt like walking out Half way through, due to onset dumb movie narcolepsy.

     The acting wasn't bad at all (which actually kind of saved this garbage heap) but even with a decent cast and great film location (Portland Oregon) it was too much for anybody to sit through.  The whole movie felt like it was caught in the confines of the Pacific Northwest weather ( gloomy, dark, wet, and depressing) and took waaay too long for any real action or suspense to kick in.

     The story was a pretty simple one.  Case 39 centers on an idealistic social worker who saves an abused 10-year-old girl from her parents only to discover that the girl is not as innocent as she thinks.  To me it felt like The Omen meets The Orphan, sans a 30 something chick dressed up like a little girl.  Not only was the story kinda of dull, the pace for which it was set was agonizingly slow.  I have said this many times before, but you cannot have a decent movie with a slow and dull pace.  The audience grows bored and begins to fidget with cell phones checking how time is left.

     On the plus side, it was nice to see Bradley Cooper step out of his type cast role to try something different.  Until he met his demise that was the only thing that kept my interest.  Miss Zellweger showed that she could handle a so so role like this and still make it semi fun to watch.  Not all of the move was so bad.  There were some decent implied "Messed up" moments.  One of which had a family throw their little girl into the stove and light it.  No real gore, but f'd up to think about.

     The last thing I felt was bad was the R rating.  I think I heard the F word three to five times and the gore, or lack of, was not enough to warrant an R rating.  Maybe sometime soon we will get a solid hard R rating for a solid Horror movie.  Oh wait thats right, just wait 2 weeks;)

Mr. What? (* * )

Friday, October 1, 2010

Let Me In ( 2010 )

Starring: Kodi Smit-McPhee, Chloe Moretz, Richard Jenkins, Cara Buono, Elias Koteas, & Sasha Barrese.

Directed By Matt Reeves

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1228987/


Among American versions of recent foreign movies, arguably none has faced the same chariness and doubt that awaits "Let Me In," a remake of 2008 "Let the Right One In.” 

A moody, black-humored variant on "E. T.," Tomas Alfredson's Swedish original focuses on a lonely, bullied boy whose life is changed by a new kid in his apartment complex -- a girl who goes shoeless in the snow, solves Rubik's cubes in moments, scurries up buildings and trees, and, oh yeah, drinks blood to live.  The film moves with strange, creepy energy and is populated by characters who delicately walk a line between charm and grotesquerie.  It’s a treat.

And hey, whattaya know:  "Let Me In" manages to capture much of the essence of the original -- so much, in fact, that it feels a mite redundant even as it bears its lineage with honor.  Director Matt Reeves ("Cloverfield") has pared some elements from the original, but he moves his film with a similar confidence, poise, sad beauty and droll wit.  And while he has added a splash of conventional horror, "Let Me In" is as compelling (if, inevitably, not as fresh) as its source, and, like Reeves' "Cloverfield," injects new life to an often-tired genre.

Kodi Smit-McPhee ("The Road") stars as mopey child-of-divorce Owen, Chloe Moretz ("Kick-Ass") gives another preternaturally grown-up performance as Abby, his bloodsucking crush, and such stalwarts as Richard Jenkins and Elias Koteas offer moments of substance.  Reeves, though, is the standout, marshalling the look and flow of the film as surely as he does the performances.  He has taken someone else's work and so infused it with apt and knowing choices that if feels as if it began with him personally -- a heck of a thing to achieve with such a potentially dubious project.

Mr. What? ( * * * )
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