Starring: Sam Worthington, Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes, Jason Flemyng, & Gemma Arterton
Directed By Louis Leterrier
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0800320/
We begin today’s review with a public service announcement:
The new mythological adventure/fantasy film “Clash of the Titans” is advertised as a 3D production and tickets are priced accordingly -- which is to say, at about one-and-a-third times the cost of a ticket to a plain-old 2D movie.
Well, it ain’t worth it.
I’m not talking about the quality of the film itself, which is not very high -- although not as low as you probably (and understandably) fear/expect.
Rather, I’m talking about the sheer awful quality of the 3D transfer of the film. “Clash” was shot in standard format, then gussied up to add a small bit of depth on the screen and considerably more at the boxoffice. A mere handful of shots have a feel of multi-dimensional immersion. But that number is small in comparison to the 3D sensation afforded by, oh, “How to Train Your Dragon,” which was made expressly for the 3D format, or even “Alice in Wonderland,” which, like “Clash,” was retrofit for 3D but with a more studied hand.
And, of course, all of those pale next to “Avatar,” a film which “Clash” continually calls to mind for reasons not entirely its own fault. Because, you see, if the filmmaking and 3D effects aren’t anything like those in “Avatar,” other things, alas, are.
“Clash,” you see, stars “Avatar”’s Sam Worthington as -- get this -- a half-human/half-not-human hybrid whose quest to drive evil from his planet involves riding a winged beast that no man has ever mastered and settling an internal conflict about which portion of his nature should command his loyalty.
Obviously, “Clash” isn’t an “Avatar” knock-off -- it’s far too soon even for the most opportunistic filmmaker to pull that trick. Rather, it’s loosely based on the laughably stoic and dated 1981 “Clash of the Titans,” which was itself loosely inspired by the Greek myths involving Perseus, a demi-god (in this case, a son of Zeus and a human mother) who fought off such beasties as the Medusa and a gigantic sea monster (or Kraken) in his rise to become, later in life, a beloved king.
In this telling, Perseus (Worthington) watches as the fisherman who adopted him as a foundling is killed by the god Hades (Ralph Fiennes), who’s engaged in crushing a human insurrection against the rule of Zeus (Liam Neeson). Hades has threatened to destroy the city of Argos by unleashing the Kraken unless the city offers its princess as a sacrifice, and Perseus, though mistrusted by the humans because of his godly parentage, leads a small band intent on destroying the Kraken and sending Hades back to the underworld.
“Clash” is basically a quest story, broken up with fights against monsters (a couple of which are pretty cool, actually) and some truly limp and ill-played attempts at humor (a pair of hunters with Yakov Smirnoff accents join Perseus’ crew for no discernable reason). Fiennes and, as Argos’ senior solider, Mads Mikkelson, afford some juicy fun, but Worthington projects the charisma of the young Russell Crowe’s lighting double. And there’s a fair bit of gore for a PG-13 film, for what that’s worth.
But the going is pretty slim here. Director Louis Leterrier (“The Incredible Hulk”) cannot stoke any of the film’s elements -- semi-romance, personal salvation narrative, or, most importantly, dramatic adventure -- into anything engrossing. It all passes quickly, as far as that goes, but when it’s over it passes entirely. And something that sells for a premium price ought to linger.
( * * ) -Mr. What?-
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