Sunday, July 26, 2009

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince (2009)

Director: David Yates

Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Helena Bonham Carter & Alan Rickman

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0417741/

 Another Harry Potter movie. This is his 6th year at Hogwarts. As usual the school year starts out with some shit going down and hte headmaster pulls him in and fills his head with some shit about him being the chosen one.

 Once at school he finds a book once owned by the mysterious "Half Blood Prince" filled in with lots of hand-written notes that make Harry into the little bad-ass. Shit happens, evil comes, someone dies, etc, etc.

 All in all, it's a fun movie. The whole series is great, don't get me wrong. It just seems that after so much time you would hope for a twist somewhere... instead we get everything we expect. Which is nice... but I want more. You know what to expect and that kind of takes away from the fun of the movie. I hope for some big changes in the series future.

Final Verdict: * * * 1/2

- Al B. Damned

The Wizard Of Gore (2007) DVD

Director: Jeremy Kasten
Starring: Crispen Glover, Brad Dourif, Jeffrey Combs & The Suicide Girls
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0765487/

 Well shit... another re-make. But still with the names attached you expect a little more. Montague The Magnificent (Played by Crispen Glover) is a "Magician" killing people on stage and then after the "illusion" is over everyone witnesses them get up and leave the club all fine and dandy. Only to be found dead later exactly like they were killed on stage.

 Crispen Glover was not as awesome as I had hoped. He can be so creepy when he wants. He shows up on stage as a bad televangelist type. Jeffrey Combs is unrecognizable. Every scene with Brad Dourif is awesome. He just kicks so much ass you can't turn away.

 But still all the kick-ass actors and the awesome amounts of nudity don't really help. The movie is kinda cool and has it's moments but will never compare to the artistry of the H.G Lewis original.

 Plus side though it has a shit-ton of special features. Commentary with the director, writer producer and ass. editor. A Making of featurette, Effects featurette, Suicide Girls featurette, deleted scenes, outtakes and more.

Final Verdict ( * * * )

- Al B. Damned

Saturday, July 25, 2009

The Orphan ( 2009 )

Directed by Jaume Collet-Sera
Stars: Vera Farmiga, Peter Sarsgaard, Isabelle Fuhrman, & Jimmy Bennett.
     I'm going to lazy about this review.  At the time I saw this movie it seemed like another borderline PG-13, R rating.  I was half right.  OK loyal readers as always here is the plot line.....
A husband and wife who recently lost their baby adopt a 9-year-old girl who is not nearly as innocent as she claims to be.
    Wasn't there a flick in the 90's similar to this?  Kinda.  I'll admit I for one was not stoked to watch this.  It looked like The Good Son with a little girl instead of the kid from Home Alone.  I was, once again, half right.
     So as expected a family adopts the little girl and she is a total psycho..Kinda.  People die, no body listens to the person who might know the truth.  Kinda.  Blah, Blah, Blah....  I have no idea why anybody would give this movie more thn 2 stars.  The acting is so so, The deaths are Gruesome, and there is a little twist involved.
     It was ok if you like your horror light and kinda weird, but if you want something different and outstanding, then go see the Jim Rose Circus.
Overall rating ( * * )
Mr. What?

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Public Enemies (2009)

Stars: Johnny Depp, Christian Bale, Stephen Dorff & Channing Tatum
Directed By Michael Mann 
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1152836/

    
The Feds try to take down notorious American gangsters John Dillinger, Baby Face Nelson and Pretty Boy Floyd during a booming crime wave in the 1930s.

    
So there you go as far as the plot.  Johnny Depp plays Dillinger as well as could be expected.  At times it seemed as if he got bored with the role or a bit frustrated with it.  The other actors and actresses seemed to be into the project, but Depp just didn't look all to thrilled.  The feel of the movie at times felt like a film school project.  I don't know what Mann was going for with the camera work, but 3/4 of the movie felt like some guy with a hand held camcorder was trying to film this while riding a bike intoxicated.

     Set in the depression era, Dillenger (Depp) is robbing banks and throwing his middle finger up at the law.  Now enter Melvin Purvis.  A tough FBI agent hell bent on bringing down Organized crime.  After a promotion Purvis(Bale) is given the daunting task of overseeing the crime soaked city of Chicago.  So as you can imagine tons of shots are fired and people die, while Dillinger escapes making Purvis and the FBI look like the keystone cops.

     I really enjoyed the sets, and the dirty feel of  Chicago.  The movement of the film at times seemed to drag on and on.  The scenes with Dillinger and his flock of friends was just too much talk and not enough action.  Also, it seemed like the supporting players kept the movie going when Depp was just there.

     As far as a gangster flick goes though, it was awesome.  The gunfights, outfits, seedy backstabbing people all around, and so on.... I felt like a kid watching a classic film on the big screen, but that would subside when we had to watch Depp babble on and on for minutes...

     If you want to see a decent flim with shoddy camer work ten this is for you.  If you want to see Depp pull off another great performance though, stay away from this movie.  Maybe if Danny Elfman and Tim Burton were involved with the project Mr. Depp would've more of a performance.

Overall rating (* * *)

-Mr. What?-

Friday, July 10, 2009

Bruno (2009)

Stars: Sacha Baron Cohen, and a list WAY TO LONG to list!!
Directed By: Larry Charles 
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0889583/

     First things first.....  If you liked the first one, then you will like this one.  If you felt that Borat offended you, and it was just a dumb flick...weeeeelllll then avoid this flick like an STD.  In a way it's kinda like the next chapter in the "Sacha Zone".

     Bruno is an Austrian fashionista.  Another character brought to life from Da Ali G show.  Bruno is what you would consider a very sexually open Flamboyant version of Borat.  Where Borat shocked us with his questions and blindness to the real world, Bruno shocks us with gay sex, brutal edged humor, and a sense of anarchy.  I was already cramping with absolute laughter just 10 minutes into the movie.

    We follow our hero in much of the same way as Borat.  With a little more of a twist.  Bruno is a very non PC stereotype.  And when he fucks up the fashion show he attened, Bruno gets fired and blackballed. So, Aftersome quick timed laughter Bruno ends up in LA trying to become a celebrity.  Folks, in my opinoin this is where the pace maker will either explode or burn out.  I have never laughed this hard and got sexually cranked at the same time.

     Blunt man on man action, a swingers party where we actually see the couples having sex, and Ron Paul almost getting seduced by a man are only a few reasons to see this.  It most also be noted that if graphic full frontal male nudity offends you, then avoid this.  All I can say is that Gay sex, Straight sex, dildos, Black children in boxes, and a whole other grip load of r rated goodness awaits you if dare to watch...BE WARNED AGAIN THOUGH...  The above material comes at you hard and fast, and might actually give ya a shock....

Overall rating (* * * *)

Mr. What?

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Transformers 2, Revenge Of The Fallen (2009)

Stars, Shia Labeouf, Megan Fox, Tyrese Gibson, John Turturro, & Josh Duhamel
Directed By Michael Bay
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1055369/



     OK so here is the plot line for any being that never saw Transformers.

Decepticon forces return to Earth on a mission to take Sam Witwicky prisoner, after the young hero learns the truth about the ancient origins of the Transformers.


     Yeah.  Thats all we really need to know.  So before I give my review let me say this, If you are a fan of the Cartoon and want some sort of dignity left to the show.....you will not like this movie.  If you loved the first movie and really don't what people think or say, THEN GO SEE THIS MOVIE!!!!


     Our story picks up a year or so from the last movie.  Autobots are looking for rogue Decepticons and are teamed with the US Military, oh and we the people are supposed to not know that there is a war on our planet, or that transformers don't exist.  That was the first thing wrong with this movie.  Tha last battle was in Downtown LA and yet nobody knew about it?!?!  OK so the frigging MIB flasher thinggy us all, and now we don't remember?  Lame.

     As we get into the movie we reunite with Sam and his family as the big guy gets ready for the college journey.  First off the language and uneasy feel from the family was awesome.  When  I was attending this showing there were a lot of children with reviewer parents.  To hear the Mom say Shit like 3 times in 10 minutes was epic!  Considering the movie.  So after a lame scene with megan fox and her famous bad acting, we see a sliver of the cube fall out of Sams stuff and make sam hinky.

    The Next 45 minutes of footage was what kept me in my seat.  I won't go into details, but I will say that A Mom eating pot brownies, Ethnic Transformers, Megatron, and tons of humans dying was what i didn't expect from a Transformers sequel.  The whole movie as a working unit was awesome.  The special fx were what you would expect and at times much more.  Time after time  the movie kept switching from a kids movie to one for mom and dad, which also lead to Sam not coming accross as a bitch in the first movie.

    Thats all I'm going to say for a basic review.  Lots of BOOM and BANG, and  a decent story plot. Also, the hardcore fans might like the Optimus Prime death, but get pissed at the last 10 minutes of the movie.  I would've given this a better review, but everybody in the free world has done a review on this movie so lemme clear up some FAQ's

1.  Does Prime die?  Yes. and is brought back in the ending.

2.  Is there a transfomer(s) that are racist? Depends on what you consider racist these days? To make fun of somebody based on race is racist, to give a transformer floppy ears and a gold tooth and talk like a street hoodlum is NOT racist.  Dude, we had a car named Jazz talk gangsta in the first one.  But thats Racist.  What about Dr. Doolitle and the  rats?  Who were they bashing on?

3.  Is there going to be a 3rd movie?  Really?  Yeah looks like it.

4.  Was there a lot of cussing?  Yeah for a PG 13 movie.


(* * * 1/2)

-Mr. What?_
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