Thursday, May 28, 2009

Drag Me To Hell (2009)

Director: Sam Raimi
Starring: Alison Lohman & Justin Long
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1127180/

 Damn... this movie was bad-ass! I was tempted to give it five stars, just because I fucking worship Sam Raimi, but then I had to back off and be realistic about it. It's awesome, but not perfect.

 Alison Lohman plays Christine Brown, a loan officer at a bank. She's up for a new promotion against some cock-sucking douchebag and het boss is pushing her to be tougher. Old gypsy lady comes in and Christine turns her down on a loan extension so she will lose her house. Gypsy freaks the fuck out, Christine calls security... the rest is history.

 Gypsy meets her in the parking lot and fucks her shit up. Some sick scenes... fucking toothless bag lady slobbing all over her. Nasty! Then she puts a curse on her. Christine then gets stalked and terrorized by a demon called a Lamia.

 Quite a few entertaining twists in this film. Sam gives us the goods in spite of the PG-13 rating. His camera work is always awesome and he totally assaults your auditory senses in this film. It gives you the terror, the sickness and the comedy that you expect from him still finds it's way in. Don't miss this one!

Verdict: * * * *

- Al B. Damned

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Terminator: Salvation (2009)

Stars: Christian Bale, Sam Worthington, Helen Bonham Carter, Anton Yelchin.
Direct by: McG
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0438488/

    

     Yes I liked this movie.  There I said it, now leave me alone.  Yes we all know AH-NUHLD isn't the star, it's the 4th one, and it's PG-13.  Just Be quit for a second and let
me explain.  I at first was excited to see this movie.  I love Christian Bales acting and the wife loves him naked with a chainsaw.  C'mon what better "in shape" badass to play Connor Himself than Batman? I was also excited that AH-NULD was NOT going to be in this movie... Hello? he's getting old and flabby it would be like doing The Rocky Horror Picture Show again and having Tim Curry don the same outfit.  That was then, and this is now.

     Well, when I finished the movie I was left feeling that some actors should not have been in this movie...And I'll get to that.

     in this being the 4th movie, we see the Cyberdyne machine come to life in all of it's horror....which i was kinda bummed that the movie takes place in 2018 AFTER Cyberdyne went fully auto.  That kinda pissed me off, I mean for 3 fucking movies now we have been told of the END OF DAYS, and now we finally see what happened, but only AFTER, and not during.....Oh well... So here we are with John Connor Fully grown and being questioned about being the ONE.....Which would explain why he was just a higher up in The military and not the big boss..

    
  So after some explosions and some death we learn that John Connor is just a soldier in Humanity's last breath of hope...yep.  Oh and John Connor also broadcasts on the air to anybody who will listen, like an open letter for anybody to read.  we also learn that john is going to be a dad.  A part of the movie that should've been cut...all of it.  Along comes the twist which made it interesting..

      John only has the past 2 horrific run in's with Terminators, plus his moms audio diary to go on.  I mean if i got chased not once but TWICE by futuristic Machines, I would be the same way.  Christian Bale did a great job as a John Connor who knows the future but has to sell mankind on it.  The scruffy look and tired eyes sold the horror and doom image that had to have taken a toll on john.  At this point We learn that Kyle Reese must be found before cyberdyne can get him and take him to the human grinding factory in San Fran.

       Kyle reese is in LA smashing T-600's in bonecrushing degrees, when we run into a guy by the name of Marcus Wright.  yes Marcus appeared mud covered and Naked..Hint Hint...so after some amazing stunt work and big booms Marcus and Kyle head out of L.A. to find john Connor...along the way Blair Williams is saved by Marcus and now we have a group....so now with this story and John Connors it gets kinda sappy and lame.

      So Kyle gets captured and Marcus gets himself captured by John....and you can almost guess the rest...Kinda......The movie really picks up steam when the jail break hits....

      Now to the let down..  Bryce Dallas Howard.  I hate when big studios put the wrong actors into roles like this.  Look at Maggie G. in the Dark Knight, Great actor but NOT for the part of Miss Dawes. Same with Bryce, she is good, but not for this role.  I felt she was a part of the drag areas of the movie.  if it would've been some serious role or dramedy, then put her in it.  I mean she did turn down Clerks 2, so why put her into T4?  I did however, LOVE Anton Yelchin.....  The snarl of Reese and the gritted teeth words...man Michael Biehn would be proud....So for Mr. Yelchin this summer has been a HUGE push for serious roles, and he deserves it.

     And yes folks AH-NULD is in it, well at least his 25 year old face is;) 

I enjoyed this movie and hope you all give it a chance..

overall rating (* * *)

-Mr. What?_

Thursday, May 14, 2009

BOOK REVIEW: If Chins Could Kill by Bruce Campbell

If Chins Could Kill: Confessions Of A B Movie Actor
Author: Bruce Campbell


 When I first picked up this book, I wasn't too sure what to think. I'm not one to follow the herd and I don't really care to know all about someone's personal life. I don't give a flip about who's fucking who and who snorted what up their nose. Thank god this wasn't one of those...

 This book starts off with a little about Bruce's childhood, then gets into his teens and talks about all the old super 8 movies him and his friends made. There are quite a few chapters on The Evil Dead, but not just the filming of it. He covers a lot of the process from the casting, filming post-production and more.

 There are also quite a few chapters on his work on other "B" movies and his work on television. This paperback re-release also contains added material written after his "Chins Across America" book signing tour.

 This thing is packed with photos and also includes interview snippets from his pals like Sam Raimi. Couldn't put this thing down once I got started. Definitely check this out!

Verdict: * * * *

- Al B. Damned

Friday, May 1, 2009

X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)

Director: Gavin Hood
Starring: Hugh Jackman, Liev Schreiber & Ryan Reynolds
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0458525/

 For those not in the know, this is a prequel of the X-Men trilogy that tells the story of Wolverine. It spends some a little on his past and how he's been alive for a very very long time, but spends most of the time telling his involvement with the Weapon X project. This is how he got the adamantium welded to his bones.

 I don't want to give too much away. I know this is a movie everyone has been looking forward to. It's definitely worth your $10. Liev Schreiber makes a great Sabretooth, unlike Tyler Mane who played him in the first movie. It tells a lot, but leaves you wishing it had more. Leaves room for a sequel obviously.

 My only real problem with the film is there was not enough Deadpool. C'mon!!! We want the merc with the mouth!!! Ryan Reynolds was great to pla him, but he only had like 3 speaking lines!!! What the fuck were they thinking??? When they finally gave him the powers his mouth was wired shut. Dumb.

 All in all though, you will not be let down. Go ahead and spend you dough. Oh, and as with most Marvel movies, make sure you stick around after the credits roll.

Verdict: * * * *

- Al B. Damned

Midnight Movie - DVD (2009)

Director: Jack Messit.
Starring: Rebekah Brandes, Daniel Bonjour, Greg Cirulnick
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0981224/

Man Sometimes a movie comes along that asks the question... Where the fuck was this 2 years ago?!?!? This being a prime example. In the last 2 years we have seen more remakes, bad plots, cheap effects, and "american versions" of foreign films. Not this one though.. I came across this flick behind a copy of Midnight Meat Train, and instantly fell in lust. Just the title and art work sold me, well, besides the fact that i had to watch House Bunny too. So i needed some kinda blood and gore to ease my pain.

So the movie starts off in an insane asylum (nice touch) with our killer in a room with a make shift movie screen. The doctor feels that while watching the movie that said killer had mad some time ago, would help him rehabilitate. Pfft! what-the-fuck-ever. This is a horror film..Not dawsons creek. So after some blood and semi gore, the killer escapes.

Fast Forward some time later and we are at a movie theater featuring the killers film for a (you guessed it) Midnight Showing. One by one we meet the ensuing victims or people involved. Here is where the movie grabbed me. We have all seen the BIG BIKER with a hag girlfriend, the group of friends who can't stop talking, and the annoying guy who knows everything. Hell even the people working the counter remind me of the idiots at my local theater. So as the movie starts set in the 60's, the kids begin your typical movie experience, talking, texting, calling out the shots, and getting head. Then all hell breaks loose. The movie killer comes to life and includes his kills into the movie itself, which is pretty damn funny. The kids try to escape only to find out the the theater itself is under the killers grasp to do as he wants.

All in all this wasn't a bad movie and should've been given a chance for a limited release. If you want to chill back after work, or use this a dirty cuddle movie, then by all means go for it!!!!!!


Overall rating * * *

- Mr. What?
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